When the Wheels Come Off

By Donna VanLiere

Author of Finding Grace: A True Story About Losing Your Way in Life . . . And Finding It Again

I grew up in the 70's and 80's when parents still told their kids to go outside and play. My friends and I would spend all day in the yard and when we got hot and sweaty enough we'd run to the back patio, open the water spigot on the side of the house and get down on our hands and knees so we could get low enough to turn our mouths up for a drink of water that splashed all over our faces and down our necks. In the evenings I remember seeing my parents shaking their heads as they watched the oil crises in the 1970's unfold on the nightly news. Gas prices skyrocketed to 73 cents a gallon! "Turn it off," my mother would say to my dad. "Good grief! The wheel's are coming off but they make it sound like the world's ending."

Like me, as a child you probably hoped for a life that would exceed your dreams but as those dreams collapsed along the way you've simply wished for a soft wing of hope but instead have gotten life in a culture of ungrace. That's not a word but it should be. If you don't know what ungrace is just listen to most people who didn't vote for any sitting president, watch how fast Hollywood turns on a star who no longer sells at the box office or turn on the news anytime during the day. Ungrace pulsates in our workplaces, communities, and in the media and tells us that regardless of what has happened we must do better, look better, and make ourselves better. But to love and accept someone regardless of their flaws and failures is a breath of hope in a world that turns more upside down than right side up. That is the gift of grace. It's being dirty and smelly and turning your face up under the spigot. Sometimes the wheels need to come off and you need to get pretty low before you appreciate grace.

The wheels are coming off for my friend Lisa. She's the owner of a beautiful clothing store for women. She's put her heart and soul into the store but then the economy tanked and people ran scared (even those who still had jobs and owned their homes). Trouble is, she did everything right: paid her mortgage, creditors and bills on time so she doesn't qualify for help. The wheels are coming off for my friend Jacob. When he took his vows he never envisioned this animosity, anger or separation. The wheels are coming off for my friend Gerri. She finished chemotherapy and is beginning nine weeks of radiation for breast cancer. It wasn't her dream but she's added it to her daily schedule: go to work, get groceries, go to hospital for radiation, do laundry, make dinner.

When we plan our lives no one ever says, "When I grow up I want to get a divorce, maybe two!" Or, "When I grow up I want to lose my house, my business and my life savings!" Broken dreams are never part of anyone's plan. We tie our plans up with ribbons and bows and aim for the mountain top but end up in the valley. In Finding Grace (St. Martin's Press, March 2009) I relate a story of walking with my second grade class to the library when a sixth grader spit on me. He didn't intend to spit on me but I was fortunate enough to be the one to pass at that exact moment. My teacher Mrs. Brewer cleaned me up but when I looked down at my maroon polyester blend turtleneck I could see the white tissue particles clinging to where the snot had been. "He blindsided you," Mrs. Brewer said. "That's how it goes sometimes."

At some point, life blindsides us with something far greater than a giant loogie. The diagnosis, abuse, foreclosure, broken marriage, death, or financial collapse brings us to our knees and though we try to clean ourselves up the best we know how we're still left with the stain of it all. "That's how it goes sometimes." True. But isn't there more? The beauty of grace says yes. There's more love after the infidelity, more joy after the diagnosis and more life after the financial ruin. Chris Gardner, the bestselling author of The Pursuit of Happyness was once asked how he and his son were able to overcome the shame of homelessness. Gardner said, "We were homeless, not hopeless!" Chris knew he was living on the streets but he was still living. That's grace. Grace is always present and always near but it's easy to miss -- things aren't always as they appear. I just returned from Winnipeg where The Christmas Hope is being filmed in a house. In previous months the homeowner fell off a ladder and broke several ribs. During x-rays it was discovered that he had cancer. That break-up, closed door to a job, or fall from a ladder may not be as devastating as you think but an act of grace that will save your life and help you discover higher dreams.

In a country of excess we suffer from a deficit of grace. In the last few months I've watched two stories on the news of men losing their jobs then killing their entire families and themselves. In another story a man lost his job after twenty years. "It's heart wrenching," he said. "But I still have my family and we're all together." That's the hope of grace speaking and it beats the alternative any day. Last week my friend Lisa liquidated merchandise and said, "It kills me to close this store but I know God still has a plan for me." That's grace at the end of a shattered dream. My friend Miriam's husband was devastated over their loss of money in the stock market. "How much do we have left?" she asked. Embracing and recognizing what is left is grace at the end of an economically depressed rope. There is life-altering power in that.

I once attended several Alcoholics Anonymous meetings for research. A man said, "I was a drunk for fifteen years. I lost my wife and son because she couldn't take it anymore. One day I woke up and said, ‘What the hell am I doing? I need to live.'" For fifteen years the noise of his life drown out the voice that said he was worthy, needed and loved but then came the day that he finally heard it. That wake-up call to life is a gift from God. With what strength that man had left he turned his face up toward that spigot of grace and let it splash all over him.

Finding grace in a culture of ungrace seems an impossible task but it is present, it is real and it is an indomitable gift that has the power to change your life. It does come with one condition, though -- like any gift you have to reach out and take it.


©2009 Donna VanLiere, author of Finding Grace: A True Story About Losing Your Way in Life . . . And Finding It Again.

Author Bio

Donna Vanliere, author of Finding Grace, is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of The Christmas Hope series and Angels of Morgan Hill. She lives in Franklin, Tennessee with her husband and three children. For more information please visit http://www.donnavanliere.com.

Seeing Through the Eyes of Faith

But we live by faith, not by what we see (2 Colossians 5:7 CEV).

If you are guided by the Spirit, you won't obey your selfish desires.

The Spirit and your desires are enemies of each other.

They are always fighting each other and keeping you from doing what you feel you should.

But if you obey the Spirit, the Law of Moses has no control over you.

God's Spirit has given us life, and so we should follow the Spirit. (Galatian 5:16-18, 25 CEV)

It's easy to get caught up in the every-day circumstances of life. We get up, we have to go work, get the kids ready, go grocery shopping, make dinner, do work at home, get gas for the car and a whole host of other things that consume our time and make up what we call 'life.'

But how do you view your life? Do you see it as an amalgamation of duties, obligations, and responsibilities? Or is there an underlying meaning to your life?

What I'm asking is - is there a purpose for your life or are you just living? Are you spending your time running errands, attending school recitals, watching your kids' soccer games and doing laundry? Or is there something more that drives your life?

Because it's okay (and necessary) to do all the ordinary things - after all, dinner doesn't cook itself, homework doesn't magically get accomplished and somebody's gotta make sure the kids get to school. But life is not ONLY about those things.

We (Christians) don't walk through life merely to exist. There is a greater purpose and meaning to our lives. Ultimately, to serve God. Which means, on a day-to-day basis, we see through the eyes of faith.

We see the content of a person's spirit and not simply what he or she presents to the world. We believe with blind faith things that others say can't happen in a million years. We use God's insight and wisdom to walk by faith and not by sight.

And what does walking by that faith mean? That we recognize the truth of what's going on here in the natural world (i.e., our company is downsizing and we may be in danger of losing our jobs), but that we don't allow that truth to override the overarching TRUTH (namely, that God has promised that He will never forsake the righteous and that our children will never go hungry (Psalm 37:25)). It means that we believe God MORE than we believe the news reports, what our friends think or 'conventional wisdom' (because we know that the world's wisdom is foolishness to God (1 Cor 3:19)).

God has also given us His Holy Spirit to help us in our walk of faith. By following the Spirit, we won't follow the flesh. That simply means that we will be so caught up in doing the right thing, thinking the right thoughts and behaving in a righteous manner, that we won't have the time to pursue our own selfish, acrimonious or divisive desires. God's Holy Spirit helps us to make peace with others, be the bigger person in an argument and keep eyes firmly fixed on the actions of Jesus as our ultimate role model.

God has given us life. God has given us His Spirit. See your life through the eyes of faith and be steadfast in your walk of faith. Be guided by God's spirit and He will never lead you astray!

Pray Without Ceasing

1Th 5:17 - Pray without ceasing.

Gal 5:25 - If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Acts 17:28a - For in him we live, and move, and have our being;

How is your relationship with God? How much time do you spend praying, communing with Him or studying His Word?

Many of us make the mistake of thinking our relationship with God primarily happens on Sunday morning. On Sunday morning, we do our best praying, we hear a great Word (if we attend church), we shout for joy, sing good songs and work ourselves up to an enthusiasm about God rarely seen during the week .

Not all of us are like that of course. Some of us already pray regularly - either at night or in the morning when we arise. And some of us go even beyond that - we regularly study devotionals, read the Word and play gospel or Christian music on a regular basis.

But it still comes back to the question - how is your relationship with God?

I've said in many other postings that our relationship with God is built like any other relationship. We spend time with Him, we talk to Him, we listen to Him and we simply enjoy His company. As you get to know Him better, you understand Him better and accept and love Him for the God you know Him to be. No one can tell you anything about God without a thorough reading of the Bible to confirm what they are saying and you trust that He'll lead and guide you into all knowledge.

But there is still a further level into which we can travel in our relationship with God. It's the all the time, unceasing, kind of relationship. The kind of relationship where prayer is automatic, your thoughts are constantly on what He would have you do in a given situation and you almost subconsciouly converse with Him all that time, discussing your day, reviewing His Word (the Bible) and communing with Him in your downtime and the lulls in your day.

Do you know what I mean?

Where before you've even consciously considered praying, you find yourself finishing a request to God to help your friend, give you strength or that His will be done (since that is always the best option) in any given situation. Where you no longer have to remind yourself to study His Word on a regular basis, because you automatically check the Bible any time you hear something with which you don't agree and you've bookmarked Bible websites at work, home and school so that you can check them quickly and in a hurry. Where, finally, you no longer pray before you do something, but you realize moment to moment what He would have you do and act accordingly. It's that level where it's no longer what you know but who you are. You don't have to work on being a Christian - you just have to express the Christianity that is inside of you.

Are you at that level? Would you like to be?

Give that some serious thought as you continue your journey with God. Use the above scriptures as references and begin to integrate more of God in every aspect of your life. Walk in the peace and life He has so graciously offered you. Enjoy your life, live it to the fullest and let your life be the fullest expression of the blessings of God.

Try it out today and let me know how it goes :)

Devotional - Finding Contentment

Heb 13:5 Be ye free from the love of money; content with such things as ye have: for himself hath said, I will in no wise fail thee, neither will I in any wise forsake thee.

2Co 12:9 And he hath said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my power is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

1Ti 6:8 but having food and covering we shall be therewith content.

How many of you have ever felt like you just didn’t have enough? Not enough paycheck to pay all your bills. Not enough love to make living worthwhile. Not enough career to love your current job. Not enough God. Not enough time. And, most resoundingly, not enough money.

We all know that the love of money is the root of all evil (1 Titus 6:10). But many times we’ll feel wracked with longing for a better job, more money, a bigger house or a better car. We feel like we don’t have enough.

Jesus said he came to give us life and it more abundantly (John 10:10). So we automatically assume that abundant life comes with more material things as well. Sure, we all want peace and contentment, but we’re willing to settle for being the person in our family who makes the most money, has the nicest clothes or can afford to travel the world. What’s abundant life without being able to impress your friends with your importance? What’s the point of having money, we often hear, without having the power that comes along with it?

What’s life really about? Is it about what you have or is it about what you need? Because I bet as you’re reading this, all your needs are met. You have enough to eat. You have some place to sleep. You can get around either with a private car or public transportation.

You have a job that allows you to pay most or all of your bills. You have some type of roof over your head. You are whole and well and able to take care of yourself. Your most basic needs have been met.

Yet it still often feels like it’s not enough.

God calls us to contentment. A popular definition of contentment is being happy with the things you’ve got (and not thinking about the things you don’t). Are you content with the things you've "got?" Or do you find yourself wishing for more?

God’s definition of contentment can be found in the above three scriptures. In Hebrews 13:5, He tells us to be content with such things as we have, for He is always with us and will never forsake or leave us. In 2Cor 12:9, He tells us His Grace is sufficient for us, the sufficient in this scripture being the same in meaning as the contentment in Hebrews 13:5. Finally, in 1Titus 6:8, we are told to be content, having food and clothing to cover our bodies. The "content," "sufficient" and "content" listed in preceding three scriptures share the same meaning, namely: to “be content, be enough, suffice, be sufficient.(Strong's Concordance)” In other words, God is telling us that because He is with us (and will never leave us), because His Grace is sufficient for us and because we have food and clothing, we should be content.

How does that make you feel? Does knowing that you should lessen your desire to have material things or do you think you are entitled to the material things as well? I pose this question because it’s an important distinction to make.

If you find yourself still not very content, what steps can you take to become more? How can you truly settle down, focus on the now and find contentment with the things that God has given you - right now, today?

A hint can be found in the second scripture, where God tells us that His Grace is sufficient for us and that His power is made perfect in our weakness.

Our true contentment can only come when we lift the responsibility for being strong from our shoulders and allow His strength to overtake us. In other words, the more we pretend we can do it all ourselves – and draw on our own resources – the less likely it is that His power will lead, guide and empower us. The more we do in our own strength and power, the less room His Grace has to work its magic in our lives - guiding us towards the contentment that He has promised us.

The take-away from this is that contentment comes with the head knowledge that we are to be that way because of our relationship with God, but is more firmly established the more we lean on God in the face of our weakness. We are simply not designed to be strong, all the time, on our own. By allowing His Grace to take root, expand and fill our inner spirits, we are also accessing that ever-so-elusive contentment that comes with carrying our problems to God and allowing His peace to settle on our hearts and minds (Philippians 4:6-7).

Contentment, then, does not come from self-sufficiency, the love of money (or the things it can buy) or by operating solely on our own strength. Contentment comes from recognizing that God is our strength, relying on Him and turning aside from our love of material things to develop a soul-satisfying relationship with Him. We were designed to be this way – in sync, in love and in step with our Creator. Develop your relationship with God and increase your level of contentment today.

Devotional - Be All Things

1Co 9:19 For though I was free from all men, I brought myself under bondage to all, that I might gain the more.

1Co 9:20 And to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, not being myself under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law;

1Co 9:21 to them that are without law, as without law, not being without law to God, but under law to Christ, that I might gain them that are without law.

1Co 9:22 To the weak I became weak, that I might gain the weak: I am become all things to all men, that I may by all means save some. (ASV)

We need to become all things to all people. In our modern-day, Westernized society, the emphasis is on being unique and individual. Unlike collectivistic cultures, we Americans value and honor those whose primary concern is themselves, their interests and their lives. We give them labels like ‘mavericks,’ ‘lone wolves,’ and the like. And that’s all fine and good.

But we’re in the business of winning people to Christ. We’re in the business of demonstrating the God that has made such a difference in our lives. We are in the business of modeling Christ-like behavior to those whose view of religion may be tainted and scarred by the world around us.

We need to be all things to all people. As Paul states so rightly above, he was free, but chose to be in bondage to everyone (figuratively), so that he might win those to Christ. He became a Jew to the Jews, a law-abider to those who honored the law and a lawless person to those who scorned the law. He also became weak to those that were weak! All in an effort to become someone with whom everyone could relate so that those individuals might be won to Christ.

I know how important we consider our own individuality to be. But, as Paul points out above, it is equally important to be able to become chameleon-like in our efforts to reach out to those who may not be exactly like us. Have you ever noticed how quickly a mother will reach out to another mother? Or a teenager trusts his or her peers more than an ‘old’ person?

You’ve got to get it into your mind to use whatever you need to in order to gain the trust of those who are around you. This is not a popularity contest. This is a real life and death effort to pass on the good news of the Bible to those who so desperately need it.

You may not even need to mention the words “Jesus,” “God,” or the “Bible.” Once people are around you long enough, believe me, they will be very curious about what makes you tick, why you seem so happy in the face of adversity and how they can get in on the good life that you appear to be living.

We need to be all things to all people to win those people for Christ. Explore your options, put yourself out there and build trust and rapport with those around you who are so in need of the knowledge of the Word of God.

Devotional - Strength, Courage & Wisdom

2Co 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

It’s okay that you’re not perfect. It’s okay that some days you have are bad. And it’s okay that you’re not going to get everything right, all the time.

Some days you’re going to hit it out of the park. Some days you’re going to get nothing but fouls. And some days you’ll just barely manage to get to first base.
God’s Strength is made to be shown through your weakness. It’s meant to show you that you need Him. You hit a wall, you make a mistake, you show your weakness and, bam!, you find yourself getting down on yourself, thinking negative thoughts and contemplating how stupid you are. And you finally release your thoughts to God and you begin to pray and His Spirit surrounds you and that’s when you realize: This is why I’m weak. This is why I need His strength. Know why? Because if you didn’t have weak moments, you probably wouldn’t call on Him as much as you do. So you need your weakness to demonstrate to you just how much you need Him. To remain close to Him. To draw on His strength, which was tailor-made for what you’re going through. And, number two, you need these weak moments to realize you are not capable of doing this alone. If you could accomplish all that you needed without Him, there would be no need to have God. There is a God, however, you do need Him and you NEED Him to do what you have to do.

God’s Strength is made to be shown through your weakness. It’s meant to show others where you strength REALLY lies. Your weakness – and His rescue – make others realize that they quite possibly need Him, too. If all people saw were all your triumphs – and not the growing experiences that got you there – they would mistakenly think that YOU have all the answers and you know that is patently untrue. You know that you only are what you are because God has given you strength. And your weakness to others demonstrates the same to them.

So REJOICE in your weakness. Know that you’re not perfect, you’re never going to be perfect and it’s perfectly okay – no, WONDERFUL – that you’re not perfect because it all demonstrates the MAJESTY and GLORY of God. It reminds you of how much you need God, how futile it is to think you can do anything without Him and even helps others to realize just how much they need God, too. You WILL BE WEAK. So let God handle it. And all will be well…

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Questions about Cheating, Marriage and the Other Woman

Hello all:

I've been on a bit of a hiatus due to my full-time school and work schedule, but there are some reader questions that have been particularly haunting me. Here they are with my responses. (Please feel free to add your own advice, commentary, etc.)

From: The Other Woman

Anonymous said...

I have been married for 24 years now with two children ages 23 and 14...my husband left me but i know in my heart he was cheating all the signs were there, he no longer desired me and he was always abusive to me which really escalated before he left, he denies there is another woman, but he became very upset the day i found the number in the cellphone and called it and deleted the number he asked for his number back and left the following day, he has not taken all of his things yet he does not want the neighbors to know he has moved out, but yet he is not there anymore..(strange) i am going along with it for now, but there is no relationship between he and I anymore and he wants to be able to come in and stay from time to time when he feels like it..so basically he is holding me back while he waits to see if this thing between he and the new woman will work out because i think she is married as well..never the less, i feel i have been reborn..God has given me peace after days of crying and depression i was devastated and i can not say i did not do some things that he did not appreciate, after years of abuse i turned to prescription drugs and i became addicted..i begged and pleaded him to help me but he would not he saw that as his way out. but let me add this is not the first affair we have dealt with he has cheated on me two times prior to this that i know for sure..so God is so Good, because after finding this blog, i feel totally free, i do not wish any bad luck on him i wish the best but i know the relationship is not going to work because this is one of the oldest tricks of the enemy, grass always seem greener, so Ladies plz respond and provide me encouragement this is still young for me and i am praying my way thru

12:21 PM

Anonymous:

I feel your pain. I know what it's like to love someone and try to honor that relationship with what you've learned about God and how best to be a Christian. However, your husband has made the decision easier for you - he left you. Your role is to pray, seek the comfort of God and ask how you are to handle the situation. The goal is for you to have peace. The optimal marriage state is for two people to be working together, trying to make things work, communicating, spending time, raising any children and incorporating Godly principles into their marriage. If your marriage does not have those qualities, it is not where it should be. I cannot say for sure whether or not you two should be together, but I know for absolute sure that God is going to work this out in your best interests. I can promise you that. I also promise you this: if you seek Him and obediently do His will, He will honor and bless you in ways beyond compare. I will be praying for you. Please let me know how this turns out.

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From: How Not to Cheat

Anonymous said...

i need some help... PLEASE ANYONE!!! I just found out that my girlfriend of 4 years is cheating. She did it before and I forgave her and then she did it again and i forgave her again..and again. This time its more serious cause i found out that she was close to sexual with him and its the same guy that she cheated with the first time. I am a Christian and so is she and we are active in our Church.. can someone please give me some Christian advice please.. its like im dying here...

10:43 PM

Anonymous:

As a prior single woman for a number of years, I became intimately familiar with all the games, ups and downs and challenges facing Christian singles. Here is what I see: your girlfriend still has feelings for the gentleman which whom she had sex. You are right to forgive her, but you are not obligated to stay with her. True repentance (on her part) would have been to walk away from him and leave him alone. She is telling you - with her actions - that she is not capable of doing that. You are meant for better. Behavior does not magically change when you are married. Behavior changes through a close relationship with God, fasting and prayer, repentance and a true desire for change. I don't believe your girlfriend has a true heart for repentance.

My advice is for you to leave her and spend some close, one-on-one time with God. Allow Him to minister to you, allow your friends to comfort you, pray daily and fast and, if at the end of that you feel like God is leading you back to her, then so be it. If not, then it is time for you to move on. I will be praying for you. God bless and please let me know how this turns out.

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From: How Not to Cheat

i have been cheating on my boyfriend for a few months now im a christian hes a chritstian and i dont know how to tell him and weather i should i love him and want to stay with him. What do i do?

7:58 AM

Anonymous:

Why are you with your boyffriend? You say you don't know if you love him. What, then, is the point? I don't mean to sound harsh, but I simply don't understand why you'd stay with someone of whom you are not even sure how you feel. You sound like an intelligent, likeable person. I would not want you to be in a situation that is not going anywhere or causing your boyfriend harm through your behavior.

My suggestion for you would be for you to spend some time alone. My best guess is that you have needs that are not being met by your boyfriend nor your lover. Honestly, there are some things only God can heal and it seems that you need Him more than any human man.

Think about what I have said. I will be praying for you. God bless you in your time of need.

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From: How Do You Know He's the One?

Jlynn said...

I'm in a relationship that I'm not happy with but my partner seems to be head over heels in love with me.

I feel like if I end it I'm doing something terribly wrong because it will hurt him, but I'm miserable staying in it. The last thing I want to do is hurt him. I also feel like I'm doing wrong in Gods eyes as well if I end the relationship. Any advice.

12:35 PM

qtee1113 said...

yeah any advice for jlynn??? I am in the same boat and would looooove the imput!

5:13 PM


JLynn and qteel113:

Well, ladies, first of all, feel blessed that you have someone in your life who values you! I hear so much about women who want to make things work with guys who are disinterested that it's a nice change to hear that some of our sisters have found good men. Even if those men are not for you...

My advice to you two is simple: if you are not happy, then leave. Why do I say this? Because, if you desire sexual intimacy and children in a God-given relationship, then you need to be free to marry the man who will fulfill those dreams for you. Visualize the man you want to be there for you when you are sick, whose features you want to see in your children's faces, who you want to see in family pictures and want to grow old with. Is that man the one you're with now? No? Then you need to go.

If it helps any, remind yourself that you are doing him a great disservice by remaining with someone with whom you are not compatible. You are depriving him of meeting someone who will love and value him for who he is, as well as depriving yourself of meeting the man who is meant for you. Shoot for the stars, ladies - married or committed life with the partner of your dreams. You deserve no less!

God's Thoughts of You

Jer 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

I think a lot about the above scripture. In this scripture, God is talking through the prophet Jeremiah to His people who have been captured in Babylon. They were not to be released for another 70 years and were losing hope, hurting and feeling lost and bereft without their God. In Jeremiah 29, Jeremiah offers advice and comfort to the Israelites and reminds them of these most important words of the Most High God - "I know the thoughts that I think toward you...thoughts of peace, and not evil, to give you an expected end." What does that mean - an 'expected end'? The Contemporary English Version of the Bible translates this phrase to "a future of success." Isn't that amazing - God was promising the Israelites that they were in His thoughts and telling them He knew what the future held for them - success and, by association, spiritual and financial prosperity.

And that's what you can take away from this scripture today - that you too are in God's thoughts and He has an 'expected end' for you. He means good things and not evil towards you. He wants future prosperity and success for you. That you are not forgotten, overlooked or alone.

Just remember - God is thinking of you - right now - and His thoughts towards you are good.

God Bless

The Art of Holiness

"For I am the LORD your God: ye shall therefore sanctify yourselves, and ye shall be holy; for I am holy..." Lev 11:44

What does God mean when He asks us to be Holy? I only ask because, of late, it is a question that has occurred to me. Most Christians I know fall into one of two categories: they are either 'too holy' or 'not holy enough'.

The 'too holy' Christians quote scriptures any time you ask them for advice, wish everyone a 'blessed' day and talk about how 'blessed' they are, call on the name of the Lord loudly and regularly, send you 'Christian' emails, post Christian sayings on their desks and instruct Satan to 'get thee behind' whenever anything isn't going their way. The 'too holy' Christian often comes with a bad case of a holier-than-thou attitude, is very judgmental, strait-laced and morally uptight.

On the other hand, you'd be very hard to identify the 'not holy enough' Christian as a Christian at all - he or she curses regularly, drinks with the best of them, has one or two significant others, loudly and publicly discusses his or her love affairs and dresses and conducts himself or herself exactly like everybody else. If you are lucky enough to be driving down the right street at the right time on a Sunday morning, you might see this person sneaking guiltily into church service - which is probably the only indication he or she is a Christian (or, at the very least, a spiritual seeker).

Luckily, however, there is a third category of Christian believers. This type of Christan seems to actually have figured out what God meant when He asked us to be 'holy'. According to Strong's Concordance, the 'sanctify yourselves' in the above scripture means "...to be clean (ceremonially or morally): appoint, bid, consecrate, dedicate, defile, hallow....proclaim, purify..." And 'holy' means "sacred (ceremonially or morally)...(noun) an angel, a saint, a sanctuary..." When we think of 'holiness', we mostly think of the airs we put on to convince others we are truly living the Christian life. The third type of Christian actually is 'holy.' They consecrate (set themselves apart) in the service of God. They seek to please Him with their actions. They 'clean' themselves through regular prayer and repentance, seeking to absolve themselves of the sins that are committed by each of us every day.

This third category of Christian is 'sacred' to God - they live at a higher standard than the rest of us. They take God's commandments seriously and search their hearts regularly to see if their actions are in accordance with His Word. They are led and guided by the Holy Spirit and take heed to His admonishments to watch their language, guard their hearts, pray for others and take on the burdens of others. They don't necessarily visibly display their 'sainthood' by the wearing of specific garments or religious icons, but their actions, demeanor and speech reflect their deep moral convictions. They embody the very qualities of God. As Jesus said in John 13:35, "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." They are known by their love for God and by their love for other people. This is what it means to be holy.

Holiness is a state of being. Being holy means a lifelong commitment to purification, renewal and communion with God.

God asks that we be holy. It is only reasonable that we be obedient to His command.

God Bless.



Religion, Spiritual,Spiritual,Christian, Christianity, Articles, God, Holy

Good Enough

As I was logging in my calories for the day, recording how much exercise I'd gotten this week and tracking my other various goals, I had to stop and wonder - how do you know when what you are doing (or who you are) is Good Enough?

Is it Good Enough to attend church once a week or does it only count if you go to Bible Study, too? Is it Good Enough to get the recommended 30 minutes per day of exercise, or are your efforts worth only if you are training for a 5K? Is it Good Enough if you are happily single or do you only get points if you are Happily Married?

What does being Good Enough mean to you?

For me, being Good Enough involves a plethora of goals, benchmarks and daily habits. I won't bore you with all the things that prop up my weary self-esteem, but suffice it to say they are many and varied. Nights are spent conducting post-mortems on my day - what did I accomplish today? How close am I to my goals? What can I do to improve for tomorrow? Days are spent playing catch-up - sure I'm spiritual, but Sister Girl down the street goes to church way more often than I do. I make good money at work, but the guy down the hall makes at least $5000 more than I do. Do more, I think. Work harder, I repeat. What you are doing is not.....Good....Enough!!!

Do you ever feel this way?

So, as often happens during my neural overloads, I calm down, clear my mind and go to God in prayer. And, as always, He directs my thoughts, helps me to see further and makes me realize (yet again) the utter futility of judging myself by the world's standards.

He reminded me that He sees value in me. He shows me that the things that are important to Him are not the same as what the world considers important. Sure, He plans for me to have blessings and financial prosperity, but that is not the focus. The point is to DO HIS WILL. And in that will I find my worth.

And, for the first time, I saw the hidden meaning in Psalms 139:14. "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." I always thought that David meant that he was physically well made, but I finally saw that it wasn't all physical at all: God had made David "fearfully and wonderfully" SPIRITUALLY. While we are busy trying to achieve things here in the corporeal world, God is judging us by the quality of our spirits. He made us in His unique, wonderful, majestic image - spiritually. Our physical beings were mostly an afterthought. When God created us in His own image, He did so spiritually first.

And God's idea of Good Enough? It starts with that beautiful, wonderful spirit He created in each of us. He wants us to be spiritually developed, which should overflow into the physical realm. God's idea of Good Enough is us utilizing what He has given us to do the things He has called us to do. And that's Good....Enough.

Self-Destructive Behavior

What is self-destructive behavior? According to WrongDiagnoses.com, self-destructive behavior can be defined as:

...behavior in which one has a tendency to do harm to oneself, either as a direct or indirect result of their actions; frequently marked by impulse, but also includes chronic, injurious behaviors. (Click here for reference)

It seems counter-intuitive that we would want to hurt ourselves, but our addictions to drinking, taking drugs, cutting, overeating and sexual promiscuity make it clear this is not the case. I'm sure you have either engaged in self-destructive behavior or know someone who has.

Why do we do it? From a spiritual perspective, it is clear that we have been targeted by an enemy that is out to do us harm. And, sometimes, the best way he can harm us is through ourselves. The Bible says, "The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy...(John 10:10)." We don't like to think of the demonic influences in this world, but they are real. If you belive in angels, you have to believe in their counter-force: demons.

The reason I mention this is because we tend to think that everything we think originates within ourselves. We think we are the captains of our own fates, shepherders of our own destinies and holders of the keys to the kingdoms. What's surprising to note, however, is the amount of influence Satan has over our thoughts and words. Jesus recognized Satan's influence when Peter berated him for talking about his upcoming crucifixion. The Bible says, "Then Peter took him, and began to rebuke him, saying, Be it far from thee, Lord: this shall not be unto thee. But he [Jesus] turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men. (Matthew 16:22-23)" Isn't it interesting that Peter thought he was saying a good thing, but it turned out to be a sign of demonic influence?

So are many of our actions and thoughts. Satan uses our thoughts to influence us in what we think and how we behave. As noted above, the 'thief' wants to kill, steal (your destiny, your joy, etc.) and destroy you by whatever means possible. It's much easier when we already have negative thoughts and inclinations (due to childhood traumas, low self-esteem, depression, etc.), but he will also send his minions to throw a little more gloom on an already gloomy day. You know how you seem to get thoughts from nowhere, but seem to make so much sense when you're down? Like, you'll be feeling low, contemplating a donut or two or three (or at least I do!) when you'll hear a voice that says, "Go ahead, eat it. It doesn't matter what you put in your body. You're never going to lose weight anyway." Or you decide that you don't want to get out of bed and that voice comes again to agree with you, saying, "Going to work is pointless. You hate it there. Nobody likes you and you don't like them! Stay home, relax. Don't even bother to call in." Or, in the worst cases, when someone you loves does something you feel is injurious and you heed to that voice that says, "She doesn't really love you. If she loved you, she wouldn't treat you that way. Women can't be trusted. You should just leave her. But first tell her what you can't stand about her. Hurt her the way she is hurting you." And you find yourself telling your best friend/partner off without even realizing why you're doing it.

Sure, many of those voices probably developed as a result of your bad experiences, but Satan will definitely use those things to speed up your demise. If he can leave you hopeless, alone, isolate you or help you fall into depression, he is more than happy. And if you start to drink, start taking drugs, find someone else's life to ruin, cut yourself or start to contemplate suicide, he's even happier.

How do you combat the enemy's influence? The Bible is very clear about the protection God affords His people. It says (in Ephesians 6:10-18 (CEV)):

Finally, let the mighty strength of the Lord make you strong.
Put on all the armor that God gives, so you can defend yourself against the devil's tricks.

We are not fighting against humans. We are fighting against forces and authorities and against rulers of darkness and powers in the spiritual world.

So put on all the armor that God gives. Then when that evil day comes, you will be able to defend yourself. And when the battle is over, you will still be standing firm.

Be ready! Let the truth be like a belt around your waist, and let God's justice protect you like armor.

Your desire to tell the good news about peace should be like shoes on your feet.

Let your faith be like a shield, and you will be able to stop all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

Let God's saving power be like a helmet, and for a sword use God's message that comes from the Spirit.

Never stop praying, especially for others. Always pray by the power of the Spirit. Stay alert and keep praying for God's people.

You have to stay close to God. Read His Word. Pray always. And allow His thoughts influence you and your behavior. Allow the Holy Spirit to lead and guide you and focus in on the positive affirmations and promises that God has for you. Don't allow Satan to influence you more than God. The Bible says, "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. (James 4:7)" Satan does not have unlimited power - he is only as powerful as you allow him to be in your life. Finally, I leave you with the words of Jesus:

Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. (Matthew 26:41)

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Articles, Advice

Men: Make Your Valentine's Day Special!

Okay - I am admittedly not a big Valentine's Day fan. Mainly because I feel it has become too commercialized and more about what you get than celebrating your significant other.

But I'm always interested in opportunities to express love.

So, gentlemen, here is how to make your Valentine feel special all year long:

Call when you say you're going to.

Call just to say hello.

Tell her she's beautiful - for no reason.

Compliment her on what she's wearing.

Say what you mean - or don't say it.

Be honest, but not cruel.

Tell her what's on your mind (really).

Listen to her tell you what's on her mind.

And, finally - let her know that she is the only one. The one you love. The one you cherish. Make her feel special.

Simply put: love her all year round.

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Dating, Single