Friday, September 29, 2006

Storing Up Hate

Where do you think all that anger goes when you're upset with somebody? What do you suppose happens to the rage, jealousy, spite and antipathy you feel towards another person?

Ever think about it?

Ever wonder why sometimes you can't sleep, overeat, over-indulge or are all too often depressed?

Let me tell you where all those emotions go - absolutely nowhere.

You store them all up in your body, in your spirit and sometimes in your mind.

You ever notice how something will happen and then, once you've played it over and over in your mind, you can't seem to let it go? You ever notice how after becoming angry with someone, you have a headache, feel sick or all of a sudden become depressed? You ever notice how you can't seem to get a prayer through, and putting down that 'ought' (grudge) you bear against your brother won't come easy?

You have to learn to let go.

What most people don't acknowledge (or seem to care about) is that you do more damage to yourself than to another person when you let things go unresolved. When you plan revenge for some imagined wrong. Or when you replay that event over and over in your mind (or keep re-telling that same 'ol story over and over again). The short-term damage is bad enough (bad nerves, frayed temper, vague and amorphous pain), but the long-term effects can be deadly - stress contributes to so many illnesses that you risk your very health by choosing to hold onto that grudge instead of letting it go! Not to mention the spiritual fallout - you can't seem to 'hear' from God, you find your prayer times falling by the wayside, and no amount of rejuvenative efforts seem to be able to rejuvenate your spirits.

Here's what I want you to do if you have things you need to resolve:

Let them go!

And how do you do that?

1. Pray and ask God to help you be delivered of these problems.

2. Review the incident or problem in your mind and see if there's anything (positive) you can do about it. If you can do something, then do it. If not, then go to step 3.

3. Acknowledge the problems you can do nothing about. Release it to God, ask Him to remedy the situation and then let it go. Letting go means you give up your right to keep thinking about it repetitively, talk about it to your friends for the hundredth time, call that person up and lay him out on the carpet, or (and this is the important one) continue to harbor negative feelings about it. Letting go means giving up your right to remedy the situation and leaving it in God's hands. Period.

Feel better? Okay, now breathe....And go on to Step 4.

4. Replace all that negative energy with good and happy thoughts. Every time you are tempted to re-visit it, think of something good instead. Studies have shown you can trick your brain into thinking you are in a good mood by smiling. Try smiling as you think these happy thoughts.

Repeat as necessary.

And - the next time you encounter a situation or problem that gets your dander up - choose to act in advance. Before you even get good and angry about it, resolve within yourself to let it go. Don't even allow it to take root in your heart. Don't allow yourself to dwell on it. And resist all inclinations to pitch a fit. LET.................IT.................GO!!

You'll feel much better in the end.

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Anonymous said...

Good POst *thumbs up*

as a former "rage-a-holic" I am all too familiar with the lingering side effects of holding on to anger..ulcers, headaches, high blodd pressure...and the messed up part is the people and things we get angry at/about...continnue to go on with life unaffected or unchanged by our being angry...and I guess the Bible really is right when it comes to anger "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control." Pro 29:11, and "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry," Eph 4:26.

Anonymous said...

Just found your blog.

Every blessing to you.
Maria in the UK

Enigma said...

I am sending this post to my sister. If that is a problem, please forgive me. It is just that she is so very angry at my parents, my dad in particular and for good reason. However, I think she needs to know what God says and how this will affect her. Thank you for this post.

ms mimi the mocha soulchild said...

Anger is a human emotion, but to stay angry is a spiritual trap.

This was a good post, sonya. I tried for a long time to trick myself into believing I was not angry by not acknowledging that I was, and this only led me to be sad and depressed because I was angry and guilty about the anger I felt. Instead of saying God I am angry, can you help me move on, I just pretended it wasn't there because I grew up in a house where anger led to violence. I felt I was a bad person for having angry feelings, when in reality, anger is a human emotion. It is how we react to it that makes the difference.

I am going through a situation right now where I could be incredibly bitter about some things that could cause me lose my job, and ruin all the things that I have worked on.

But in reality, there is nothing I can do about it except trust God. God placed me here, so I can't be angry with Him. I just have to trust he will bring me through.

jazztheo said...

hello there.

I have a question about the title of your blog...I believe that "Black" and "Woman" and "Christian" are all meaningful, valid and needed qualifyers. I like your title, but what do those qualifyers mean to you? What makes your thoughts distinctly "black, woman and Christian?" I'm asuming that if you were to remove any of those then your thoughts would be markedly different.

I always enjoy your blog,

Sonya Triggs-Wharton said...

Hello all:

Thank you for your insightful remarks and thoughts. I always learn so much more by reading and contemplating your feedback to my posts. As always, I am humbled and honored that you chose to come by and hope to interact more with all of you soon. School has turned out to be a true challenge for me, and I am learning more as I seek to better understand God's role and purpose in my life. Hopefully, I will be able to share more of what I've learned in the days to come.


What do the qualifiers 'black' 'Christian' and 'woman' mean to me? They have pretty much defined me my whole entire life. When I was born, I was black. When I became an adult, I realized I was a woman. And as I accepted Christ, my identity switched entirely over to becoming a 'Christian'. Admittedly, I initially named my blog 'One Black Christian Woman's Perspective' simply to make it easier to find me in Google or another such search engine, however, now I have come to understand that my beliefs have been defined by these very qualifiers. While I don't necessarily see myself purely in terms of race or gender, the rest of the world does (I have come to discover) and I have found that I need a platform upon which to base my discourse and interaction with said world. In other words, if I chose to define myself, it would be as a Christian, but in order for people to relate to me, they have to know that I am black and that I am a woman as well. If that makes any sense.

I'd personally like to live in a world with no 'categories' or labels, but I find that I cannot reject the evidence before my eyes. How many times have you asked (when hearing a story) the race of the subject or whether that person was a man or a woman? We almost cannot escape our conditioning, but it seems to simply be a part of our lives. Perhaps God created so much diversity to force us to see beyond those things to the humanness we all share.

What do you think about it all?

jazztheo said...


I was guessing/hoping your response would be as such. I too struggle with labels and categories but when all is said and done I see Jesus accepting them as well as the early church. They, instead of rejecting the labels, embraced them, redeemed them and turned them on their head. I think of how being called a Christian in the first century was not a compliment.

down the road,

Anonymous said...

Arrggghhh I want to be released from anger...yes I do...It's so funny that I just watched "One Night With The King" and I was surprisingly blessed because I had vowed to not watch any more TBN movie productions that excluded black women and this particular movie had one black virgin as a possible choice for the King of Persia. Oh well, that's a start I guess. Usually we are excluded from everything. So when I see that someone asks why we use black, Christian, female as qualifiers, I am reminded that our experience as BCFs is not relatable to others. I am asking God to deliver me from anger about being excluded from every depiction of His chosen people because of my color...especially since I know that what we are shown is not the truth.

Anonymous said...

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Jerry Springer Show - The Comforter Apostle & Chief Priest Tazadaqyah facing the Ku Klux Klan
VH1 - The Comforter Apostle & Chief High Priest Tazadaqyah is interviewed by VH1
The Comforter Speaks Against the Religions of the World Pt 1
The Comforter Speaks Against the Religions of the World Pt 2
Video clip of Mormons in Georgia
First Speaking Engagement
Tribute to the 12 Tribes of Israel
Video Clip on Marriage and Low Self-Esteem

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Classes held daily
1941 Madison Avenue (125th Street), New York, NY 10027 – WORLD HEADQUARTERS
(212) 828-9490, (212) 289-9923
*Our websites:,com_frontpage/Itemid,1/

Here are some flyers to print out to read.

*Is your church teaching you the truth according to the Holy Bible?

*Who are the Black people according to the Holy Bible?
(click near the lower right hand corner of the flyer to enlarge it)

*What about Slavery?
(click near the lower right hand corner of the flyer to enlarge it)

*The Edomites, 'the wicked' descendants of Esau.

*Who are the Native Americans according to the Holy Bible?

m.j. said...

I just had dealt with a situation last night and the phyisical triggers came topla, my stomach felt as if it was in knots, i was crying because I was saddedned and yet angered by the actions of someone that is important to me:) Thank you for this insightful read:)

Apka said...

sonya, good post !!! but what should i do about my in-laws who have to give a negetive comment on everything.i have discussed the problems with my husband but of no use.

Sonya Triggs-Wharton said...


Just because your in-laws are negative doesn't mean you have to buy into it. Someone once gave me some great advice. They said if you don't want anyone to comment on something, don't tell anyone about it! When you are with your in-laws, talk about the weather or politics or sports. Don't talk about anything deeply personal because if they are negative, they will simply find a way to say something negative about it. Definitely don't talk about anything that is truly meaningful or personal to you. Let them heap their scorn on the war or on gas prices - not you. And, if you are forced to listen to something they have to say, just nod your say, say mmm-hmm and drop it. Under no circumstances should you get into an extended conversation with them about it.

Also try finding activities to do with them - like shopping, miniature golf, etc. - where you'll be occupied with doing things instead of talking. Maybe they'll end up having so much fun, they'll forget to be negative!

mencari kebenaran said...

1 would like to ask you baby..where is the story of jesus when he was at thirteen tiil twentynine years old
in bible??

and the second is when the first time jesus was potreted?
and who was his photograper?
what kind of brand of camera was used?

the third is.. is jesus the GOD OR human being?

did jesus ever give instruction to pray on sunday?

is there in bible if jesus one hundred present human and one hundred present GOD?

is there in bible said if you believe jesus as the GOD you will be entered to the heaven

1 need your answer as fast as possible..ok