If you're anything like me, I'm sure you've either heard it, said it, read it or even (momentarily) believed it. Come on, everybody say it with me 'A Good Man Is Hard to Find'.
It has become the watch word of the single woman - explaining why we don't have a man, why we don't want a man, why our last man was bad and why there is little hope that we will ever find another (good) man. Of course, our reasoning goes, it must be that there is something wrong with all men. It couldn't possibly be me. After all, I am perfect (or close to it). I am intelligent, employed, in school, self-sufficient, spiritual, God-fearing, beautiful, affectionate, you-fill-in-the-blanks, and so on and so on. So, if I don't have (want, need, will never meet) a good man, it must be because there are no more good men. Right?
Let me say for the record, loud and clear, I DON'T BELIEVE IT. I DON'T BELIEVE THAT A GOOD MAN IS HARD TO FIND.
There - I said it. I feel much better now. Now let me tell you why I think this way.
It's clear from reading the Bible that marriage is the intended state for most men and women. Some of us will be blessed with the gift of single-ness, but, for most of us, marriage is our inevitable fate. So, my first point is this - if God intended for most women to be married, why would He eliminate all the so-called 'good men'? Does that make any sense?
My second point is this - I know there are good men out there because I see them every day. At my church. At my job. On the bus to and from work. At restaurants. In the grocery store. Alone. With their children. In business suits. Sometimes mopping the floors. In the latest Benz. In ratty old beaters. Why don't I think most single women 'see' these good men? Simply because most of them don't fit their notion of what a good man should look like. Along with God-fearing, we want successful - nice car, good-looking, fit, intelligent, articulate and well-groomed. And there's nothing wrong with seeking someone with these attributes (as long as you have them too!). But, you know someone I notice very often? A gentleman that works in my building cleaning up. Yes - I said it - he cleans. Every time I see him, he is quietly, efficiently doing his job. He is dedicated, he is humble, and he is very serious about what he is doing. I don't know his name and I don't know his background, but I am impressed by his dedication.
But how many women take the time to notice the man cleaning the floors in her building? Or who drives an older model car because he is working hard to support his children? Or one who dresses plainly and takes the bus because he is trying to hold down a job and go to school full-time? Be honest - not many.
The other reason I don't think a good man is hard to find is because our definition of 'good' is so darned skewed. We automatically equate it with what we see on the Hallmark or Lifetime cable channels - he will have all the right words, do all the right things, and know exactly how to meet our needs. He will be suave, and debonair and manly, yet sweet. Okay - let's all take a deep breath and just wake up (because, yeah - I want those things too - but I'm learning to accept my 'good' man exactly the way he is)!
Not every man knows the right thing to say. Or the right thing to do. Or can tell you the location of the most trendy restaurant. What you want in a man is one who is sincere - one who says what he means, is consistent and faithful and is genuine in all that he says and does. Those are the 'good' man qualities we should seek and so often overlook (if they are not accompanied by a certain look or level of income).
Okay - enough of my hang-ups. I just want to know - am I the only one who thinks this way? Is it really a lot harder than I believe to meet a good man? If I'm wrong, please let me know....
Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Articles, Dating, Single
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