What does it mean to be Christian and single? In the best case scenario, it means living a life devoted to God, going to church regularly, fellowshipping with your friends and being a good friend, daughter, brother, mother, father, etc. And - let's not forget that all-important caveat - being celibate. It's a not-so-well-kept secret, however, that most single Christians are not - celibate that is. Most of us seem to have 'periods' of celibacy - lasting anywhere from a few weeks to a few years and then find ourselves falling right back off the wagon for a (temporary) fix. I have had my seasons of celibacy, watched my friends in their seasons and seen celebrities proclaim they will enter marriage a 'virgin'. And, what do most of us have in common? We fail, fail and fail again. (And hats off to those who have been celibate, remain celibate or enter marriage as a virgin.)
Let's face it - once you have had sex (and enjoyed it), it's really, really hard to go back to that pre-knowledge state. Where sex was an idealized fantasy and you would find true love (or, at the very least - release) and it would all fade out into a pleasantly fuzzy happily ever after. And then you wake up.
Once you cross that line, you realize that you will never be the same. You feel a combination of remorse and (this is what always trips you up) curiosity. Was that as good as it gets? Or - wow, that was even better than I thought it would be! Should I try again to be celibate or does this mean it's over? Well, I didn't immediately go to Hell, so maybe....just maybe...I can get away with this.
And you do. Time and again. Until it almost becomes easier just to continue having sex than go through all the trauma of trying to give it up. To date someone and spend long sessions at his house or yours instead of having long walks in the park. To just stop thinking about it and put it up on the shelf of 'I'll deal with it...one day.' Just not today, right?
I am not here to preach to you, to tell you right from wrong or any of that stuff (and I'm sure you know all the same bible scriptures I do about remaining celibate). And the simple truth of the matter is that all Christians fall short in one way or another. We lie, we cheat, we are gluttons, we are judgmental - just take your pick. So, it's awfully hard to point the finger at someone else when we are not exactly shining examples of clean vessels ourselves. Sometimes I think a whole lot more good would be done in the Body of Christ if we were all just a little more understanding of one another instead of the way we are now. But I digress...
So, if the above describes you, do what we all find ourselves doing - pray. Ask for forgiveness. Learn from your mistakes. And maintain your relationship with God at all costs.
And you will be saved.
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