Christian Thoughts

The Difference Between Religion and Spirituality

2011-05-12T14:12:00.000-04:00

I hear a lot of people talking lately about how they are 'spiritual' or 'spiritually-minded.' Ask them about God, however, and they immediately backtrack to a distance they consider safe enough from being 'religious.'

"Oh, I believe, in Intelligent Design" they'll tell you or "I don't think you can only find God in a church" is another good one. My personal favorite is those who declare they are still "open" on the question of God (or god as they refer to Him) and are actively seeking. (And I'm sure they'll get right back with me once they go from the seeking stage to "found.")

As for me, I believe in God. The God, that is, that's mentioned in the Bible and in the Torah. The God of Abraham, Isaac and Moses. Yes, THAT God.

I say this because there is a wide assumption that anyone who claims an allegiance to a particular religion, denomination or specific identity of God is "religious" rather than spiritual. And to take it further, being religious is considered akin to being a "holy-roller," zealot or other type of religious "fanatic."

It is assumed that because I am "religious" that means I am not familiar with the Intelligent Design versus evolutionary debate, am not familiar with the fossil evidence which purports to support claims of evolution, have not studied any eastern religions or have just generally been brainwashed my family, friends or am a "victim" of the society in which I was raised.

Religious folks, are - in a nutshell - uneducated, close-minded, parochial and incapable of independent thought.

Let me say - for the record - that many Christians like myself choose God fully as educated, literate, well-read ADULTS. Yes, I was raised in a Christian church, but I spent many years away from this environment as I sought my own answers. And yes, I studied a bit about eastern religions, visited other worship services and contemplated evolution at one time or another in my life.

And, funnily enough, I still chose God.

Being "spiritual" (i.e., with aspirations to discover what lies beyond the natural realm) is all good as far as that goes.

Knowing what you believe and Who you believe in is much, much more valuable.

Think about it....

Religion, Spiritual,Spiritual,Christian, Christianity, Articles, God

Why I Am a Christian (and You Should Be, Too), in 600 Words

2010-01-23T09:36:00.003-05:00

by Roger Clegg

To begin with, it is foolish not to grapple with the question whether there is a God. On His existence hinges what sort of life you should lead. Not having an opinion about or having giving serious thought to quantum mechanics is one thing, but the answer to the God question makes a big difference to you personally.

It is true that, absent revelation, it is hard to know for sure whether God exists. But that doesn’t make the answer any less important. Saying you can’t know for sure who will make your best spouse is no reason not to take care in choosing.

Next, we do know two things about the God-existence question: (a) There are good arguments that there is a God, and (b) it is better to be wrong in believing than to be wrong in not believing.

On the first point, I won’t in these 600 words rehearse the various cosmological (Kalam, Thomist, Leibnizian, etc.), scientific evidentiary, design, moral, and other arguments. Suffice it to say that none of these arguments is silly, and that even an honest atheist has to admit that he cannot know for sure that God does not exist.

The second point is, of course, famous as “Pascal’s Wager.” It’s quite straightforward. If there is a God, then there is a huge advantage in believing in Him and living one’s life accordingly, versus not doing so. If it turns out there is no God, then the (much smaller) consequences in this life are all that matter, and indeed it is not at all clear that one has lost anything by believing. Therefore, a rational person should believe, live one’s life accordingly, and cultivate one’s faith.

But how do we know which God to believe in, and how do we know what He wants us to do?

The arguments so far hinge on God wanting people to believe in Him and behave in a certain way; if God doesn’t care, then there’s no point in believing in that God. The most plausible candidate for the kind of God I’m talking about is not Zeus, Ra, or Vishnu, but the monotheistic God that Jews, Christians, and Muslims believe in.

In choosing among these three religions, you must ask whether you believe the evidence that Jesus of Nazareth was the Son of God. If you do, then you are not a Jew or a Muslim. If you don’t, then you have to ask whether you think Mohammed was a true prophet or not. Myself, I believe the evidence that Something Happened in Palestine around A.D. 33, along the lines described in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. It is, conversely, harder to believe that the Gospels are all simply made up.

Finally, how do we know what God wants us to do? One can certainly use tradition and logic and deduction. But ultimately one would be very interested in hearing what God Himself has to say on the matter. For that, the New Testament (and the Old, since Jesus endorsed it) is obviously the key text. Interpreting it is not always easy, and perhaps it is not the perfectly transparent text we would like. But you would not throw away the fragment of a treasure map because it wasn’t perfect.

Is all this too cold-blooded and calculating for a Christian? Well, my aim is to persuade nonbelievers, and the fact is that you can’t persuade most nonbelievers except by appealing to their self-interest. Once they believe, then they can begin shedding the cold-bloodedness, as Someone who shed His own blood for mankind taught us to do.

Why Do Christians Experience So Much Pain?

2009-11-14T19:43:00.002-05:00

Why do Christians experience so much pain? Isn't being a believer in God supposed to afford you some sort of protection from all the bad experiences of life? God loves us, right? So shouldn't that mean we experience more of His blessings than His trials and tribulations?

Many Christians puzzle over why they experience so much pain in their lives. I know when I was a 'baby' Christian, I thought being saved meant an end to pain and misery and a life of understanding, transcendent joy, wisdom and knowledge. Boy, was I wrong! It's probably true to say I went through more pain in adjusting to the Christian life and learning some hard-won lessons than when I had been 'out in the world' and supposedly enjoying myself.

So why do Christians experience so much pain? Well, we know the conventional wisdom that our trials come to make us stronger. And this is true. We are promised in 1 Peter 5:10 that after we have suffered a little while, God would strengthen, establish and settle us. We can also learn from the way God treated the Israelites. In Isaiah 48:10, God talks about how He refined the Israelites like silver, using affliction as His 'furnace'. And why did He feel the need to refine the Israelites with affliction? Because they had constantly disobeyed Him and tried to refute His laws and live the way they chose to instead. They were headstrong and stubborn. Disobedient and arrogant.

Much like we are. We come to God fully expecting to receive His love - which He freely gives us - but never expecting to have to give up our arrogance, stubbornness, disobedience and sin. We have been taught so often that God is love, we forget that He is also a God of accountability, sanctification and responsibility. Truly, we expect a free pass on everything, knowing that if we turn to God, He will forgive us everything.

But we must be 'afflicted' with trials and tribulations in order to learn some very important lessons with God. We have to learn to be 'refined' until our pride and sin are burned away. Until there is less and less of 'us' and much, much more of God.

It is a very hard lesson to learn.

And why do our trials seem to last for so long? Because some lessons you don't learn in the first hour, the first day or the first year of your tribulation. Some lessons you only learn when you've gone beyond your ability to bear your burdens and you finally - finally! - turn to God and give Him complete control of your life. Sometimes you don't get to a place of complete submission and yielding until you've done absolutely all you can and finally - finally! - realize that your efforts are futile and that, without God, you are nothing. And that's when the trial is over.

And then you can begin to fully experience His peace, His Love and His open-handed, free giving of Himself and His Blessings to you.

(I am in no way suggesting that every time you go through a trial, it is because you have a lesson to learn, but many times when you go through, it is for that very reason.)

And here is the biggest insight to the scripture from Isaiah 48:10. God tells the Israelites that He used affliction as His furnace so as to separate the bad from the good in their spiritual lives (much as the dross (or impurities) are separated when silver is refined). BUT - Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible gives us even greater insight. This commentary tells us that:

It was to refine them, but not as silver, or with silver, not so thoroughly as men refine their silver, which they continue in the furnace till all the dross is separated from it; if God should take that course with them, they would be always in the furnace, for they are all dross, and, as such, might justly be put away (Psa_119:119) as reprobate silver, Jer_6:30. He therefore takes them as they are, refined in part only, and not thoroughly. “I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction, that is, I have made thee a choice one by the good which the affliction has done thee, and then designed thee for great things.”

In other words, if God allowed us to go through the amount of affliction necessary to TRULY refine us, we'd never be free from our trials and tribulations! In His great mercy, He CHOOSES to accept us as we are - only partially refined - and continues to love and work with us ANYWAY.

So the next time you are feeling morally superior, remember - though you've been through a lot and feel like you have accomplished a lot spiritually - you are still only partially refined in God's eyes. It is out of His great love that He blesses us at all, so be more grateful for what you have rather than focusing on the very necessary trials and tribulations that we all have to face as Christians.

So why do Christians experience so much pain? Because it is both necessary and essential to becoming the type of Christians we need to be. Because, really, isn't the purpose to serve Him? And, instead of feeling bad about the length and number of trials that we experience, we should instead choose to feel gratitude that God accepts us as we are - partially refined, but wholly His. Which means unending Love, prosperity, blessings and all the good stuff. But know and accept that you WILL go through trials and tribulations. Your job now is simply to have the best attitude about them of which you are capable.

Be Blessed :)

The Benefits of Loving God

2009-10-09T11:48:00.001-04:00

This is an oldie but goodie, and I thought now is a great time to re-post it. Enjoy!
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I've been having a lot of spiritual conversations lately. Who God is, what He is about, and why being a 'Christian' shouldn't mean having to following a certain doctrine or religion. And I've been having these conversations for years - why bad things happen to good people, the believability and credibility of God, the hypocrisy of Christians, why one religion is better than the other and, my favorite, how black people in America are only 'Christians' because of being brainwashed by the white majority society.

I'm noticing something strange - it's like we all still believe in God, but we are no longer certain of exactly who He is. Traditional beliefs are falling by the wayside, being replaced by humanistic, general divine-consciousnessness, and dubious 'spiritual' beliefs. Who is God, really, we ask ourselves? Could He also be Buddha? Can He be found in nature? Can we reach Him through internal dialogue? Or are we ourselves gods? We can't agree on what to call Him. Or how we should worship Him. If we need to go to a church, synaogue or mosque at all. If He is a man or a woman. Or if He is one of many gods.

Let me be clear about my beliefs: the God I believe in is the God of the Judeo-Christian Torah/Bible. The One who parted the Red Sea, brought plagues down on Pharoah, sent His son Jesus Christ and made a way for all to find their way to salvation. I am clear on who He is and who He is to me.

In light of these conversations, I very simply wanted to lay out the reasons why loving God (being in fellowship with Him, attending worship services, talking to other believers) is a good thing:

1. He Will Never Let You Down

God is a God of Truth. If He (or His Word) tells you something, it is true. If He promises to do something for you, He will. If He says something will not happen, it won't. If He says something will happen, it will. He will not forsake His children. He takes care of those who claim Him as their own. He doesn't lie, pretend or bluff. He will never let you down.

2. He Will Be There For You During Hard Times

Note - I didn't say He would prevent those hard times;I can almost guarantee you those will come. But, if you are a Believer, God will be there for you during those hard times. It might be through the intervention of a friend. Or getting eight hours of sleep when you didn't think you'd be able to sleep a wink. Or the day you wake up and realize you are healed of that old relationship, or the passing on of your beloved mother. The day you got a new job - or held on to one you desparately needed. God will be there for you during your hard times.

3. He Will Never Give Up On You (Unless you choose to completely walk away)

He has promised to love each of His children and He does - always. No matter how we behave. No matter how much we keep turning away. No matter how inconsistent or fickle you are. Yes - if you choose to live your life apart from Him, He will allow that. And the Bible does tell us that if we choose not to acknowledge Him in anwy way, He will give us over to this way of thinking. But He will never stop loving you. And hoping that you will return. God will never give up on you - only you can choose to completely walk away.

4. He Will Forgive You Your Sins

He knows what you've done. He knows where you've been. And He is still willing to engage in a dialogue with you - to work it out. To take you back into His arms. To help you get through whatever drove you to Him in the first place. He loves you. He won't give up on you. And He will accept you when and if you are willing to return to Him. God will forgive you of your sins - if you allow Him to.

5. He Has Prepared a Fabulous Place For You

Yes, I know the Karl Marx quote that says, in part, that 'Religion....is the opium of the people.' And how Christians are often maligned for thinking they are all going to go to a 'better place' after this mortal life ends. Where there will be no more tears and no more pain and no more sickness. But, just think for a moment - what if there really is a heaven? What if there really is a place better than this one? Where there will be no more tears and no more crying, no more wars and no more pain? Wouldn't you want to be there? Or are you more comfortable with the idea of lying in a cold, empty grave and going on to eternal oblivion? It's your choice - but I promise you this - God has a fabulous place prepared for all those who choose Him.

For simplicity's sake, I did not put in scripture quotes for each of the above points, but if you'd like them, let me know and I will get them to you.

What have your experiences been with loving God? What do you love most about Him?

On another note, have you ever wanted a career with more meaning? Christian Counseling Degrees available online, so you can pursue your new career in the comfort of your own home!

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Love, God

When the Wheels Come Off

2009-07-05T22:39:00.004-04:00

By Donna VanLiere

Author of Finding Grace: A True Story About Losing Your Way in Life . . . And Finding It Again

I grew up in the 70's and 80's when parents still told their kids to go outside and play. My friends and I would spend all day in the yard and when we got hot and sweaty enough we'd run to the back patio, open the water spigot on the side of the house and get down on our hands and knees so we could get low enough to turn our mouths up for a drink of water that splashed all over our faces and down our necks. In the evenings I remember seeing my parents shaking their heads as they watched the oil crises in the 1970's unfold on the nightly news. Gas prices skyrocketed to 73 cents a gallon! "Turn it off," my mother would say to my dad. "Good grief! The wheel's are coming off but they make it sound like the world's ending."

Like me, as a child you probably hoped for a life that would exceed your dreams but as those dreams collapsed along the way you've simply wished for a soft wing of hope but instead have gotten life in a culture of ungrace. That's not a word but it should be. If you don't know what ungrace is just listen to most people who didn't vote for any sitting president, watch how fast Hollywood turns on a star who no longer sells at the box office or turn on the news anytime during the day. Ungrace pulsates in our workplaces, communities, and in the media and tells us that regardless of what has happened we must do better, look better, and make ourselves better. But to love and accept someone regardless of their flaws and failures is a breath of hope in a world that turns more upside down than right side up. That is the gift of grace. It's being dirty and smelly and turning your face up under the spigot. Sometimes the wheels need to come off and you need to get pretty low before you appreciate grace.

The wheels are coming off for my friend Lisa. She's the owner of a beautiful clothing store for women. She's put her heart and soul into the store but then the economy tanked and people ran scared (even those who still had jobs and owned their homes). Trouble is, she did everything right: paid her mortgage, creditors and bills on time so she doesn't qualify for help. The wheels are coming off for my friend Jacob. When he took his vows he never envisioned this animosity, anger or separation. The wheels are coming off for my friend Gerri. She finished chemotherapy and is beginning nine weeks of radiation for breast cancer. It wasn't her dream but she's added it to her daily schedule: go to work, get groceries, go to hospital for radiation, do laundry, make dinner.

When we plan our lives no one ever says, "When I grow up I want to get a divorce, maybe two!" Or, "When I grow up I want to lose my house, my business and my life savings!" Broken dreams are never part of anyone's plan. We tie our plans up with ribbons and bows and aim for the mountain top but end up in the valley. In Finding Grace (St. Martin's Press, March 2009) I relate a story of walking with my second grade class to the library when a sixth grader spit on me. He didn't intend to spit on me but I was fortunate enough to be the one to pass at that exact moment. My teacher Mrs. Brewer cleaned me up but when I looked down at my maroon polyester blend turtleneck I could see the white tissue particles clinging to where the snot had been. "He blindsided you," Mrs. Brewer said. "That's how it goes sometimes."

At some point, life blindsides us with something far greater than a giant loogie. The diagnosis, abuse, foreclosure, broken marriage, death, or financial collapse brings us to our knees and though we try to clean ourselves up the best we know how we're still left with the stain of it all. "That's how it goes sometimes." True. But isn't there more? The beauty of grace says yes. There's more love after the infidelity, more joy after the diagnosis and more life after the financial ruin. Chris Gardner, the bestselling author of The Pursuit of Happyness was once asked how he and his son were able to overcome the shame of homelessness. Gardner said, "We were homeless, not hopeless!" Chris knew he was living on the streets but he was still living. That's grace. Grace is always present and always near but it's easy to miss -- things aren't always as they appear. I just returned from Winnipeg where The Christmas Hope is being filmed in a house. In previous months the homeowner fell off a ladder and broke several ribs. During x-rays it was discovered that he had cancer. That break-up, closed door to a job, or fall from a ladder may not be as devastating as you think but an act of grace that will save your life and help you discover higher dreams.

In a country of excess we suffer from a deficit of grace. In the last few months I've watched two stories on the news of men losing their jobs then killing their entire families and themselves. In another story a man lost his job after twenty years. "It's heart wrenching," he said. "But I still have my family and we're all together." That's the hope of grace speaking and it beats the alternative any day. Last week my friend Lisa liquidated merchandise and said, "It kills me to close this store but I know God still has a plan for me." That's grace at the end of a shattered dream. My friend Miriam's husband was devastated over their loss of money in the stock market. "How much do we have left?" she asked. Embracing and recognizing what is left is grace at the end of an economically depressed rope. There is life-altering power in that.

I once attended several Alcoholics Anonymous meetings for research. A man said, "I was a drunk for fifteen years. I lost my wife and son because she couldn't take it anymore. One day I woke up and said, ‘What the hell am I doing? I need to live.'" For fifteen years the noise of his life drown out the voice that said he was worthy, needed and loved but then came the day that he finally heard it. That wake-up call to life is a gift from God. With what strength that man had left he turned his face up toward that spigot of grace and let it splash all over him.

Finding grace in a culture of ungrace seems an impossible task but it is present, it is real and it is an indomitable gift that has the power to change your life. It does come with one condition, though -- like any gift you have to reach out and take it.

©2009 Donna VanLiere, author of Finding Grace: A True Story About Losing Your Way in Life . . . And Finding It Again.

Author Bio

Donna Vanliere, author of Finding Grace, is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of The Christmas Hope series and Angels of Morgan Hill. She lives in Franklin, Tennessee with her husband and three children. For more information please visit http://www.donnavanliere.com.

Seeing Through the Eyes of Faith

2009-04-19T09:34:00.002-04:00

But we live by faith, not by what we see (2 Colossians 5:7 CEV).

If you are guided by the Spirit, you won't obey your selfish desires.

The Spirit and your desires are enemies of each other.

They are always fighting each other and keeping you from doing what you feel you should.

But if you obey the Spirit, the Law of Moses has no control over you.

God's Spirit has given us life, and so we should follow the Spirit. (Galatian 5:16-18, 25 CEV)

It's easy to get caught up in the every-day circumstances of life. We get up, we have to go work, get the kids ready, go grocery shopping, make dinner, do work at home, get gas for the car and a whole host of other things that consume our time and make up what we call 'life.'

But how do you view your life? Do you see it as an amalgamation of duties, obligations, and responsibilities? Or is there an underlying meaning to your life?

What I'm asking is - is there a purpose for your life or are you just living? Are you spending your time running errands, attending school recitals, watching your kids' soccer games and doing laundry? Or is there something more that drives your life?

Because it's okay (and necessary) to do all the ordinary things - after all, dinner doesn't cook itself, homework doesn't magically get accomplished and somebody's gotta make sure the kids get to school. But life is not ONLY about those things.

We (Christians) don't walk through life merely to exist. There is a greater purpose and meaning to our lives. Ultimately, to serve God. Which means, on a day-to-day basis, we see through the eyes of faith.

We see the content of a person's spirit and not simply what he or she presents to the world. We believe with blind faith things that others say can't happen in a million years. We use God's insight and wisdom to walk by faith and not by sight.

And what does walking by that faith mean? That we recognize the truth of what's going on here in the natural world (i.e., our company is downsizing and we may be in danger of losing our jobs), but that we don't allow that truth to override the overarching TRUTH (namely, that God has promised that He will never forsake the righteous and that our children will never go hungry (Psalm 37:25)). It means that we believe God MORE than we believe the news reports, what our friends think or 'conventional wisdom' (because we know that the world's wisdom is foolishness to God (1 Cor 3:19)).

God has also given us His Holy Spirit to help us in our walk of faith. By following the Spirit, we won't follow the flesh. That simply means that we will be so caught up in doing the right thing, thinking the right thoughts and behaving in a righteous manner, that we won't have the time to pursue our own selfish, acrimonious or divisive desires. God's Holy Spirit helps us to make peace with others, be the bigger person in an argument and keep eyes firmly fixed on the actions of Jesus as our ultimate role model.

God has given us life. God has given us His Spirit. See your life through the eyes of faith and be steadfast in your walk of faith. Be guided by God's spirit and He will never lead you astray!

Pray Without Ceasing

2009-03-29T07:00:00.002-04:00

1Th 5:17 - Pray without ceasing.

Gal 5:25 - If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Acts 17:28a - For in him we live, and move, and have our being;

How is your relationship with God? How much time do you spend praying, communing with Him or studying His Word?

Many of us make the mistake of thinking our relationship with God primarily happens on Sunday morning. On Sunday morning, we do our best praying, we hear a great Word (if we attend church), we shout for joy, sing good songs and work ourselves up to an enthusiasm about God rarely seen during the week .

Not all of us are like that of course. Some of us already pray regularly - either at night or in the morning when we arise. And some of us go even beyond that - we regularly study devotionals, read the Word and play gospel or Christian music on a regular basis.

But it still comes back to the question - how is your relationship with God?

I've said in many other postings that our relationship with God is built like any other relationship. We spend time with Him, we talk to Him, we listen to Him and we simply enjoy His company. As you get to know Him better, you understand Him better and accept and love Him for the God you know Him to be. No one can tell you anything about God without a thorough reading of the Bible to confirm what they are saying and you trust that He'll lead and guide you into all knowledge.

But there is still a further level into which we can travel in our relationship with God. It's the all the time, unceasing, kind of relationship. The kind of relationship where prayer is automatic, your thoughts are constantly on what He would have you do in a given situation and you almost subconsciouly converse with Him all that time, discussing your day, reviewing His Word (the Bible) and communing with Him in your downtime and the lulls in your day.

Do you know what I mean?

Where before you've even consciously considered praying, you find yourself finishing a request to God to help your friend, give you strength or that His will be done (since that is always the best option) in any given situation. Where you no longer have to remind yourself to study His Word on a regular basis, because you automatically check the Bible any time you hear something with which you don't agree and you've bookmarked Bible websites at work, home and school so that you can check them quickly and in a hurry. Where, finally, you no longer pray before you do something, but you realize moment to moment what He would have you do and act accordingly. It's that level where it's no longer what you know but who you are. You don't have to work on being a Christian - you just have to express the Christianity that is inside of you.

Are you at that level? Would you like to be?

Give that some serious thought as you continue your journey with God. Use the above scriptures as references and begin to integrate more of God in every aspect of your life. Walk in the peace and life He has so graciously offered you. Enjoy your life, live it to the fullest and let your life be the fullest expression of the blessings of God.

Try it out today and let me know how it goes :)

Devotional - Finding Contentment

2009-03-15T08:00:00.001-04:00

Heb 13:5 Be ye free from the love of money; content with such things as ye have: for himself hath said, I will in no wise fail thee, neither will I in any wise forsake thee.

2Co 12:9 And he hath said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my power is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

1Ti 6:8 but having food and covering we shall be therewith content.

How many of you have ever felt like you just didn’t have enough? Not enough paycheck to pay all your bills. Not enough love to make living worthwhile. Not enough career to love your current job. Not enough God. Not enough time. And, most resoundingly, not enough money.

We all know that the love of money is the root of all evil (1 Titus 6:10). But many times we’ll feel wracked with longing for a better job, more money, a bigger house or a better car. We feel like we don’t have enough.

Jesus said he came to give us life and it more abundantly (John 10:10). So we automatically assume that abundant life comes with more material things as well. Sure, we all want peace and contentment, but we’re willing to settle for being the person in our family who makes the most money, has the nicest clothes or can afford to travel the world. What’s abundant life without being able to impress your friends with your importance? What’s the point of having money, we often hear, without having the power that comes along with it?

What’s life really about? Is it about what you have or is it about what you need? Because I bet as you’re reading this, all your needs are met. You have enough to eat. You have some place to sleep. You can get around either with a private car or public transportation.

You have a job that allows you to pay most or all of your bills. You have some type of roof over your head. You are whole and well and able to take care of yourself. Your most basic needs have been met.

Yet it still often feels like it’s not enough.

God calls us to contentment. A popular definition of contentment is being happy with the things you’ve got (and not thinking about the things you don’t). Are you content with the things you've "got?" Or do you find yourself wishing for more?

God’s definition of contentment can be found in the above three scriptures. In Hebrews 13:5, He tells us to be content with such things as we have, for He is always with us and will never forsake or leave us. In 2Cor 12:9, He tells us His Grace is sufficient for us, the sufficient in this scripture being the same in meaning as the contentment in Hebrews 13:5. Finally, in 1Titus 6:8, we are told to be content, having food and clothing to cover our bodies. The "content," "sufficient" and "content" listed in preceding three scriptures share the same meaning, namely: to “be content, be enough, suffice, be sufficient.(Strong's Concordance)” In other words, God is telling us that because He is with us (and will never leave us), because His Grace is sufficient for us and because we have food and clothing, we should be content.

How does that make you feel? Does knowing that you should lessen your desire to have material things or do you think you are entitled to the material things as well? I pose this question because it’s an important distinction to make.

If you find yourself still not very content, what steps can you take to become more? How can you truly settle down, focus on the now and find contentment with the things that God has given you - right now, today?

A hint can be found in the second scripture, where God tells us that His Grace is sufficient for us and that His power is made perfect in our weakness.

Our true contentment can only come when we lift the responsibility for being strong from our shoulders and allow His strength to overtake us. In other words, the more we pretend we can do it all ourselves – and draw on our own resources – the less likely it is that His power will lead, guide and empower us. The more we do in our own strength and power, the less room His Grace has to work its magic in our lives - guiding us towards the contentment that He has promised us.

The take-away from this is that contentment comes with the head knowledge that we are to be that way because of our relationship with God, but is more firmly established the more we lean on God in the face of our weakness. We are simply not designed to be strong, all the time, on our own. By allowing His Grace to take root, expand and fill our inner spirits, we are also accessing that ever-so-elusive contentment that comes with carrying our problems to God and allowing His peace to settle on our hearts and minds (Philippians 4:6-7).

Contentment, then, does not come from self-sufficiency, the love of money (or the things it can buy) or by operating solely on our own strength. Contentment comes from recognizing that God is our strength, relying on Him and turning aside from our love of material things to develop a soul-satisfying relationship with Him. We were designed to be this way – in sync, in love and in step with our Creator. Develop your relationship with God and increase your level of contentment today.

Devotional - Be All Things

2009-03-08T05:30:00.000-04:00

1Co 9:19 For though I was free from all men, I brought myself under bondage to all, that I might gain the more.

1Co 9:20 And to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, not being myself under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law;

1Co 9:21 to them that are without law, as without law, not being without law to God, but under law to Christ, that I might gain them that are without law.

1Co 9:22 To the weak I became weak, that I might gain the weak: I am become all things to all men, that I may by all means save some. (ASV)

We need to become all things to all people. In our modern-day, Westernized society, the emphasis is on being unique and individual. Unlike collectivistic cultures, we Americans value and honor those whose primary concern is themselves, their interests and their lives. We give them labels like ‘mavericks,’ ‘lone wolves,’ and the like. And that’s all fine and good.

But we’re in the business of winning people to Christ. We’re in the business of demonstrating the God that has made such a difference in our lives. We are in the business of modeling Christ-like behavior to those whose view of religion may be tainted and scarred by the world around us.

We need to be all things to all people. As Paul states so rightly above, he was free, but chose to be in bondage to everyone (figuratively), so that he might win those to Christ. He became a Jew to the Jews, a law-abider to those who honored the law and a lawless person to those who scorned the law. He also became weak to those that were weak! All in an effort to become someone with whom everyone could relate so that those individuals might be won to Christ.

I know how important we consider our own individuality to be. But, as Paul points out above, it is equally important to be able to become chameleon-like in our efforts to reach out to those who may not be exactly like us. Have you ever noticed how quickly a mother will reach out to another mother? Or a teenager trusts his or her peers more than an ‘old’ person?

You’ve got to get it into your mind to use whatever you need to in order to gain the trust of those who are around you. This is not a popularity contest. This is a real life and death effort to pass on the good news of the Bible to those who so desperately need it.

You may not even need to mention the words “Jesus,” “God,” or the “Bible.” Once people are around you long enough, believe me, they will be very curious about what makes you tick, why you seem so happy in the face of adversity and how they can get in on the good life that you appear to be living.

We need to be all things to all people to win those people for Christ. Explore your options, put yourself out there and build trust and rapport with those around you who are so in need of the knowledge of the Word of God.

Devotional - Strength, Courage & Wisdom

2009-03-01T08:24:00.003-05:00

2Co 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

It’s okay that you’re not perfect. It’s okay that some days you have are bad. And it’s okay that you’re not going to get everything right, all the time.

Some days you’re going to hit it out of the park. Some days you’re going to get nothing but fouls. And some days you’ll just barely manage to get to first base.
God’s Strength is made to be shown through your weakness. It’s meant to show you that you need Him. You hit a wall, you make a mistake, you show your weakness and, bam!, you find yourself getting down on yourself, thinking negative thoughts and contemplating how stupid you are. And you finally release your thoughts to God and you begin to pray and His Spirit surrounds you and that’s when you realize: This is why I’m weak. This is why I need His strength. Know why? Because if you didn’t have weak moments, you probably wouldn’t call on Him as much as you do. So you need your weakness to demonstrate to you just how much you need Him. To remain close to Him. To draw on His strength, which was tailor-made for what you’re going through. And, number two, you need these weak moments to realize you are not capable of doing this alone. If you could accomplish all that you needed without Him, there would be no need to have God. There is a God, however, you do need Him and you NEED Him to do what you have to do.

God’s Strength is made to be shown through your weakness. It’s meant to show others where you strength REALLY lies. Your weakness – and His rescue – make others realize that they quite possibly need Him, too. If all people saw were all your triumphs – and not the growing experiences that got you there – they would mistakenly think that YOU have all the answers and you know that is patently untrue. You know that you only are what you are because God has given you strength. And your weakness to others demonstrates the same to them.

So REJOICE in your weakness. Know that you’re not perfect, you’re never going to be perfect and it’s perfectly okay – no, WONDERFUL – that you’re not perfect because it all demonstrates the MAJESTY and GLORY of God. It reminds you of how much you need God, how futile it is to think you can do anything without Him and even helps others to realize just how much they need God, too. You WILL BE WEAK. So let God handle it. And all will be well…

Christian Thoughts Book Now Available

2008-08-06T20:46:00.007-04:00

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Talking to God

2008-07-08T07:01:00.002-04:00

Aaron Halvorson said (of my article Getting Closer to God):

That's good stuff. After reading it I thought that most of it should have been incredibly obvious to someone who has been a Christian nearly their entire life. It is unfortunate how much common sense is lost sitting in a church pew every Sunday. I always thought that a formula such as praying to God 5 times a day wasn't the answer to getting closer to God, but I have never thought of it in these incredibly simple terms.

I know that sounds stupid. But I have read the entire Bible and never came to the conclusion "God Likes to Talk." I've never heard that in a sermon either. It's both incredibly simple and incredibly profound.

I've spent a lot of time wondering why God doesn't seem to talk to me and not enough time realizing He probably actually wants to.

Aaron:

I think it's an 'incredibly simple' concept (as you mentioned) that most people tend to overlook. God does want to talk to us. As a matter of fact, God likes to talk to us. And He definitely listens. Some scriptures:

And the LORD said unto Moses, Come up to me into the mount...(Exo 24:12(a))

For thus hath the LORD spoken unto me...(Isa 31:4(a))

And the LORD heard the voice of your words, when ye spake unto me; and the LORD said unto me, I have heard the voice of the words of this people, which they have spoken unto thee: they have well said all that they have spoken. (Deu 5:28)

You know, there was a time in the Christian's life when openly and regularly 'talking' to God was the norm, rather than the exception. Early church fathers emphasized the need to pray unceasingly (1 Thessalonians 5:17), regularly come to God with confessions, requests and devotion. When did we lose that?

God says that many times He does not answer our prayers because we pray for selfish reasons, so that we can satisfy our own selfish desires. Jam 4:3 says, "Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts." That's a pretty harsh assessment of us, but I think it is pretty accurate (who among us wouldn't want a brand new car or big, beautiful home?).

However, despite all this, I believe that God welcomes our conversation. The best way to think of His relationship with us is to imagine if you are a father who has a son (easy if this actually applies to you).

You love your son. You've seen him come from his mother's womb and watched him grow. You love him so much, you provided for him, changed his dirty diapers, patiently consoled him when he cried and held his hand on the first day of school. As a child, he repays your efforts mostly with demands for more, taxes your patience, takes all of your free time, and takes a good portion of your money and strength. But you still love him. You know that he is a child and, as he grows, he will come to appreciate what you've done for him. You don't expect him to know the level of sacrifice and commitment you've given to him - which you gave willingly - and you are pleased to see him continually grow and mature. As a teenager, he becomes somewhat rebellious, doing things you don't want him to do, associating with people you don't like and getting further away from the values you placed in him. You worry about him, try to talk to him as he scowls at you, ignores you and goes stubbornly on his way.

As your child becomes a man, he starts his own family, has his own career and moves far away from you. After a few years, maybe, just maybe, as a maturing adult, he finally values all you have done for him and decides you really did love him after all (though you didn't get him that sports car he wanted for his 18th birthday). He decides to cultivate a relationship with you (or at least isn't so resistant to your efforts), calls sometimes, brings his family by and your relationship finally develops to the point where you speak regularly, he asks your advice and freely shares his heart's concerns.

That son represents our attitude towards God. As 'baby' Christians, we make incessant demands and tax God with our desires, our need for attention and our very unreasonableness. As we grow older, we 'need' Him less (we think), become more independent and headstrong and test the boundaries of our faith. We question who God is, what He is about and why He has to have sovereignty over our lives. We 'move away' to distant spiritual shores as we pursue our own passions and our own, selfish, desires. At some point along our spiritual journey, we finally, finally, finally 'get' what God has done for us. We recall how He supported us in all our endeavors, helped us to meet our husbands or wives (or got us out of a really, really bad marriage), remember the jobs He got us, how we never overly suffered or got down too low. We especially remember the hard times and how He sustained us until we could find our security and peace.

And then we begin to cultivate our relationship with Him. We talk to Him voluntarily, instead of by demand, begin to share our thoughts with Him and even seek His advice.

And this is what He really wants! He doesn't mind your requests, helping you deal with your problems or assisting you in getting that next job, but what He really wants is you. An honest, open-hearted, genuine relationship with you. A voluntary relationship with you. Not an on command appearance on Easter Sunday or Christmas, but a full-time, loving, worshiping, healthy, whole relationship with you. Just like that father wants with his son. The Bible abounds with scriptures about our Father - how if our natural fathers give good gifts, our Heavenly father gives even better, about how He loves us, about how He will provide for us, give us peace, protect our sanity - yet we look on our relationship with Him as an obligation, as a burden and, finally, as something that is more trouble than it's worth.

We are so wrong! If only we realized the depth of love our Father has for us, we would be running to Him instead of running away. Just think again of the example of the father and son above. That father probably had years of great advice he could have given the son, financial help he could have offered, resources and blessings that the son couldn't even imagine - if his son had only asked. Or even been around for casual conversations - because don't most 'big' revelations come between two people when they are talking about the weather or school or, whatever? That's how God is - the more we talk to Him, the more we understand Him. The closer we are to Him, the more He tells us. And the more time we spend with Him, the more we are open to receive His love, His blessings, His advice and be a recipient of His many gifts. God can't tell you too much about anything if your conversation is limited to five minutes a day (if it's even that much). He needs more of your time, more of your attention and more of your love. Having conversations with God is as much for you as it is for Him.

God loves you. And He wants to talk.

So what are you gonna do about it?

Questions about Cheating, Marriage and the Other Woman

2008-03-22T15:00:00.005-04:00

Hello all:

I've been on a bit of a hiatus due to my full-time school and work schedule, but there are some reader questions that have been particularly haunting me. Here they are with my responses. (Please feel free to add your own advice, commentary, etc.)

From: The Other Woman

Anonymous said...

I have been married for 24 years now with two children ages 23 and 14...my husband left me but i know in my heart he was cheating all the signs were there, he no longer desired me and he was always abusive to me which really escalated before he left, he denies there is another woman, but he became very upset the day i found the number in the cellphone and called it and deleted the number he asked for his number back and left the following day, he has not taken all of his things yet he does not want the neighbors to know he has moved out, but yet he is not there anymore..(strange) i am going along with it for now, but there is no relationship between he and I anymore and he wants to be able to come in and stay from time to time when he feels like it..so basically he is holding me back while he waits to see if this thing between he and the new woman will work out because i think she is married as well..never the less, i feel i have been reborn..God has given me peace after days of crying and depression i was devastated and i can not say i did not do some things that he did not appreciate, after years of abuse i turned to prescription drugs and i became addicted..i begged and pleaded him to help me but he would not he saw that as his way out. but let me add this is not the first affair we have dealt with he has cheated on me two times prior to this that i know for sure..so God is so Good, because after finding this blog, i feel totally free, i do not wish any bad luck on him i wish the best but i know the relationship is not going to work because this is one of the oldest tricks of the enemy, grass always seem greener, so Ladies plz respond and provide me encouragement this is still young for me and i am praying my way thru

12:21 PM

Anonymous:

I feel your pain. I know what it's like to love someone and try to honor that relationship with what you've learned about God and how best to be a Christian. However, your husband has made the decision easier for you - he left you. Your role is to pray, seek the comfort of God and ask how you are to handle the situation. The goal is for you to have peace. The optimal marriage state is for two people to be working together, trying to make things work, communicating, spending time, raising any children and incorporating Godly principles into their marriage. If your marriage does not have those qualities, it is not where it should be. I cannot say for sure whether or not you two should be together, but I know for absolute sure that God is going to work this out in your best interests. I can promise you that. I also promise you this: if you seek Him and obediently do His will, He will honor and bless you in ways beyond compare. I will be praying for you. Please let me know how this turns out.

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From: How Not to Cheat

Anonymous said...

i need some help... PLEASE ANYONE!!! I just found out that my girlfriend of 4 years is cheating. She did it before and I forgave her and then she did it again and i forgave her again..and again. This time its more serious cause i found out that she was close to sexual with him and its the same guy that she cheated with the first time. I am a Christian and so is she and we are active in our Church.. can someone please give me some Christian advice please.. its like im dying here...

10:43 PM

Anonymous:

As a prior single woman for a number of years, I became intimately familiar with all the games, ups and downs and challenges facing Christian singles. Here is what I see: your girlfriend still has feelings for the gentleman which whom she had sex. You are right to forgive her, but you are not obligated to stay with her. True repentance (on her part) would have been to walk away from him and leave him alone. She is telling you - with her actions - that she is not capable of doing that. You are meant for better. Behavior does not magically change when you are married. Behavior changes through a close relationship with God, fasting and prayer, repentance and a true desire for change. I don't believe your girlfriend has a true heart for repentance.

My advice is for you to leave her and spend some close, one-on-one time with God. Allow Him to minister to you, allow your friends to comfort you, pray daily and fast and, if at the end of that you feel like God is leading you back to her, then so be it. If not, then it is time for you to move on. I will be praying for you. God bless and please let me know how this turns out.

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From: How Not to Cheat

i have been cheating on my boyfriend for a few months now im a christian hes a chritstian and i dont know how to tell him and weather i should i love him and want to stay with him. What do i do?

7:58 AM

Anonymous:

Why are you with your boyffriend? You say you don't know if you love him. What, then, is the point? I don't mean to sound harsh, but I simply don't understand why you'd stay with someone of whom you are not even sure how you feel. You sound like an intelligent, likeable person. I would not want you to be in a situation that is not going anywhere or causing your boyfriend harm through your behavior.

My suggestion for you would be for you to spend some time alone. My best guess is that you have needs that are not being met by your boyfriend nor your lover. Honestly, there are some things only God can heal and it seems that you need Him more than any human man.

Think about what I have said. I will be praying for you. God bless you in your time of need.

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From: How Do You Know He's the One?

Jlynn said...

I'm in a relationship that I'm not happy with but my partner seems to be head over heels in love with me.

I feel like if I end it I'm doing something terribly wrong because it will hurt him, but I'm miserable staying in it. The last thing I want to do is hurt him. I also feel like I'm doing wrong in Gods eyes as well if I end the relationship. Any advice.

12:35 PM

qtee1113 said...

yeah any advice for jlynn??? I am in the same boat and would looooove the imput!

5:13 PM

JLynn and qteel113:

Well, ladies, first of all, feel blessed that you have someone in your life who values you! I hear so much about women who want to make things work with guys who are disinterested that it's a nice change to hear that some of our sisters have found good men. Even if those men are not for you...

My advice to you two is simple: if you are not happy, then leave. Why do I say this? Because, if you desire sexual intimacy and children in a God-given relationship, then you need to be free to marry the man who will fulfill those dreams for you. Visualize the man you want to be there for you when you are sick, whose features you want to see in your children's faces, who you want to see in family pictures and want to grow old with. Is that man the one you're with now? No? Then you need to go.

If it helps any, remind yourself that you are doing him a great disservice by remaining with someone with whom you are not compatible. You are depriving him of meeting someone who will love and value him for who he is, as well as depriving yourself of meeting the man who is meant for you. Shoot for the stars, ladies - married or committed life with the partner of your dreams. You deserve no less!

Did You Remember to Say Thank You?

2007-12-03T11:38:00.000-05:00

Luk 17:11-19 (CEV)

On his way to Jerusalem, Jesus went along the border between Samaria and Galilee.

As he was going into a village, ten men with leprosy came toward him. They stood at a distance

and shouted, "Jesus, Master, have pity on us!"

Jesus looked at them and said, "Go show yourselves to the priests." On their way they were healed.

When one of them discovered that he was healed, he came back, shouting praises to God.

He bowed down at the feet of Jesus and thanked him. The man was from the country of Samaria.

Jesus asked, "Weren't ten men healed? Where are the other nine?

Why was this foreigner the only one who came back to thank God?"

Then Jesus told the man, "You may get up and go. Your faith has made you well."

Do you remember to say thank you to God when He blesses you? How about when He heals you of a sickness? What about when you get a new job or a raise or a promotion?

People are interesting. We'll want something for a long time- we've thought about it since the time we were a child, have vivid dreams about what we'll do once we get it and are impatient for it to show up in our lives. For example, you might want to get married. And you may have prayed diligently to God to send that perfect mate your way. You fasted, you prayed, you had other people pray for you and you waited. Finally, that man or woman arrives in your life! You date, get married, have a couple of kids and then you get bored. Or you get tired of the married life. Or you get tired of all the fights. Or you decide you didn't spend enough time dating. You go from thanking God for bringing your husband or wife into your life to asking for deliverance from your marital problems.

So you pray and fast about it. And you ask others to pray for you. And you wait. Until your spouse becomes incrementally better - where he wouldn't talk to you before, you two finally have a conversation. Where she wouldn't cook before, she finally tries her hand at a pot roast. Whatever the case is, things gradually get better. So gradually, that you fail to recognize - five or ten years down the line - that God answered your prayers. You were delivered from the difficulty you encountered earlier in your marriage. You two get along better than ever and you have become more mature and spiritually aware along the way. Did you remember to say thank you? Probably not.

People are interesting. We will wait for something for a long time. So long, in fact, that when it finally comes, we forget to say thank you. Half of gratitude is realizing what we have to be grateful for. If you have selective amnesia and can only recall bad things, you can't fully appreciate how far God has brought you. We forget the long days and nights we spent praying or fasting about something. We forget all the late night calls to our friends to pray for us. We forget being the first one in line at the church altar for weekly, daily or even hourly prayer.

Why do we forget? It's usually because of this: When things finally work out for us (and they usually do), the answer either comes in a form we don't expect or it takes more time than we expect it to. When one or both of those things happen, we fail to recognize the significance of what we are seeing. We don't see that we have been healed. We don't see that we received the answer to our prayers. If you asked for financial prosperity and it took you 10 years to land the job you really wanted, all you can see are the bills, the pain in the neck your co-workers are and how much your boss gets on your nerves. You've failed to see the blessings that God has brought into your life. You've failed to see that you received exactly what you asked God for. Then, you forget to thank Him.

I'm not saying your life is perfect. I'm not saying there isn't room for improvement. I'm not suggesting you have the perfect husband or wife, the job you want or the car you feel entitled to have. But I am saying that if you are a child of God, He has brought many blessings to your life. He has given you much of what you asked for, even if it didn't happen the way you thought it should have or when you thought it should have. You should spend more time thanking God for what He has already given you than focused on what you still want. After all, if He's given you so much already, why wouldn't He be willing to give you more?

What have you forgotten to say thank you to God for today?

What's It Really All About?

2007-11-25T19:33:00.000-05:00

I ponder this question a lot to myself, during my Bible study and my prayer sessions with God: What is this Christian walk really all about?

Why do we do it? Why is it so important for us to be close to God? What, really is the point?

Well, here it is in a nutshell: We become Christians to save ourselves from a life of sin and hell. After we commit our lives to God, we experience many things (both negative and positive) that go into shaping us into the strong men and women of God He would have us to be. Once we've become those people, He uses us to minister to other people.

That's pretty much it. Along that journey you are confronted with the two most important commandments: to love God with all your heart and to love others as you love yourself. You usually get to learn that in the formative stages of your Christian development. And you go through a lot of trials, tribulations and problematic situations designed specifically to teach you virtues like love, patience, longsuffering, humility, etc. Whatever your issue is, God has a remedy in the form of a situation especially tailored to effect maximum change in you.

But it is all for a purpose. We are meant to be in fellowship with God. We feel incomplete without His presence in our lives. As we develop our relationship with Him, He teaches us about love and expects us to share that love with other people. Once we have developed to a certain level in our spiritual walk (and that level is different for everybody), we should be helping another person in some form, shape or fashion. We are to use the gifts He has given us for the benefit of other people.

And that's what it's all about.

Don't believe me? Here are some scriptures for reference:

John 3:16-17 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.(KJV)

Jam 1:2-4 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.(KJV)

1Peter 5:10 But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.(KJV)

1 Corinthians 12:5-10 There are different ways to serve the same Lord, and we can each do different things. Yet the same God works in all of us and helps us in everything we do. The Spirit has given each of us a special way of serving others. Some of us can speak with wisdom, while others can speak with knowledge, but these gifts come from the same Spirit. To others the Spirit has given great faith or the power to heal the sick or the power to work mighty miracles. Some of us are prophets, and some of us recognize when God's Spirit is present. Others can speak different kinds of languages, and still others can tell what these languages mean. (CEV)

And, here is a good one:

2 Corinthians 1:4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. (KJV)

So what do you think it's really all about?

God's Thoughts of You

2007-11-12T18:36:00.000-05:00

Jer 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

I think a lot about the above scripture. In this scripture, God is talking through the prophet Jeremiah to His people who have been captured in Babylon. They were not to be released for another 70 years and were losing hope, hurting and feeling lost and bereft without their God. In Jeremiah 29, Jeremiah offers advice and comfort to the Israelites and reminds them of these most important words of the Most High God - "I know the thoughts that I think toward you...thoughts of peace, and not evil, to give you an expected end." What does that mean - an 'expected end'? The Contemporary English Version of the Bible translates this phrase to "a future of success." Isn't that amazing - God was promising the Israelites that they were in His thoughts and telling them He knew what the future held for them - success and, by association, spiritual and financial prosperity.

And that's what you can take away from this scripture today - that you too are in God's thoughts and He has an 'expected end' for you. He means good things and not evil towards you. He wants future prosperity and success for you. That you are not forgotten, overlooked or alone.

Just remember - God is thinking of you - right now - and His thoughts towards you are good.

God Bless

Help - Time Crunch Overload!

2007-10-30T14:21:00.000-04:00

One of my readers, Ms. Regina, asked me the following question:

why have you not posted since the end of August?
Blessings

Well, Ms. Regina, I apologize for not having posted anything to my blog since August. The truth of the matter is that I attend school full-time (as well as work full-time) and that has taken a big chunk out of my previously free time (school has). Also, I've (finally!) started writing my first book, which will be completed some time next year. Oh - and did I mention I decided in a very brave moment to start training for a full marathon next year? I even ask myself - what were you thinking?

All of this, however, does not excuse the fact that I should have devoted more time to getting my blog posts together. I've finally integrated blog writing posts into my new schedule (am I the only Palm Pilot fanatic?), so I should be on track to post at least twice a month beginning this weekend. To help me with that, I've decided to let one of my other blogs go and focus on what's really important - this blog and my home christian ministry page. Last but not least, God seems to be sending my ministry in another direction, so I'm trying to stay on point with that. However, I really, really miss you guys and your comments, so I can't wait to get back on track so I can hear more of your thoughts and visit your blogs!

And, in that vein, here's something you all can help me with - does anyone have any good time management/organizational tips? I have this tendency to think that I can do it all and overschedule myself regularly. Do you suffer from this 'illness' as well? If so, how you handle it? Though I do not yet have children, I find my days filled with work, homework, working out, laundry, housecleaning (ugh!), social commitments, business travel, meetings, etc. Not to mention my internet surfing time, my gloriously obsessive reading habit, the time I spend catching up on all my favorite shows (especially anything on the History Channel), commute time, etc., etc.

All this is probably way more than you want to know about my life, but somehow I feel better sharing, so thanks for listening :)

So if any of you have any suggestions for me, I would love to hear them!

Thanks in advance :)

The Art of Holiness

2007-08-22T19:19:00.000-04:00

"For I am the LORD your God: ye shall therefore sanctify yourselves, and ye shall be holy; for I am holy..." Lev 11:44

What does God mean when He asks us to be Holy? I only ask because, of late, it is a question that has occurred to me. Most Christians I know fall into one of two categories: they are either 'too holy' or 'not holy enough'.

The 'too holy' Christians quote scriptures any time you ask them for advice, wish everyone a 'blessed' day and talk about how 'blessed' they are, call on the name of the Lord loudly and regularly, send you 'Christian' emails, post Christian sayings on their desks and instruct Satan to 'get thee behind' whenever anything isn't going their way. The 'too holy' Christian often comes with a bad case of a holier-than-thou attitude, is very judgmental, strait-laced and morally uptight.

On the other hand, you'd be very hard to identify the 'not holy enough' Christian as a Christian at all - he or she curses regularly, drinks with the best of them, has one or two significant others, loudly and publicly discusses his or her love affairs and dresses and conducts himself or herself exactly like everybody else. If you are lucky enough to be driving down the right street at the right time on a Sunday morning, you might see this person sneaking guiltily into church service - which is probably the only indication he or she is a Christian (or, at the very least, a spiritual seeker).

Luckily, however, there is a third category of Christian believers. This type of Christan seems to actually have figured out what God meant when He asked us to be 'holy'. According to Strong's Concordance, the 'sanctify yourselves' in the above scripture means "...to be clean (ceremonially or morally): appoint, bid, consecrate, dedicate, defile, hallow....proclaim, purify..." And 'holy' means "sacred (ceremonially or morally)...(noun) an angel, a saint, a sanctuary..." When we think of 'holiness', we mostly think of the airs we put on to convince others we are truly living the Christian life. The third type of Christian actually is 'holy.' They consecrate (set themselves apart) in the service of God. They seek to please Him with their actions. They 'clean' themselves through regular prayer and repentance, seeking to absolve themselves of the sins that are committed by each of us every day.

This third category of Christian is 'sacred' to God - they live at a higher standard than the rest of us. They take God's commandments seriously and search their hearts regularly to see if their actions are in accordance with His Word. They are led and guided by the Holy Spirit and take heed to His admonishments to watch their language, guard their hearts, pray for others and take on the burdens of others. They don't necessarily visibly display their 'sainthood' by the wearing of specific garments or religious icons, but their actions, demeanor and speech reflect their deep moral convictions. They embody the very qualities of God. As Jesus said in John 13:35, "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." They are known by their love for God and by their love for other people. This is what it means to be holy.

Holiness is a state of being. Being holy means a lifelong commitment to purification, renewal and communion with God.

God asks that we be holy. It is only reasonable that we be obedient to His command.

God Bless.

Religion, Spiritual,Spiritual,Christian, Christianity, Articles, God, Holy

Hedge of Protection

2007-07-05T21:00:00.000-04:00

Job 1:10 Hast not thou made an hedge about him, and about his house, and about all that he hath on every side? thou hast blessed the work of his hands, and his substance is increased in the land.

You know how you are always expecting your mom to understand you best? How you expect your husband or wife to be faithful and loyal to you to the end? How you think your friends will always be in your corner and have your best interests at heart? Or how you expect your dad to be the first one out to help you change your tire when it goes flat?

Aren't we all just looking for that hedge of protection around us? For women, we usually dream we'll finally be 'safe' when we meet the man of our dreams, get married and have children. We picture the house on the hill, the pretty garden we will have and a loyal and faithful man who comes home at 6:00 pm on the dot, plays with the children and makes love to us in the privacy of our bedrooms.

For men, they usually find their safe haven in the things that they own or how many women they can pull. As long as they are making a good income, driving a fancy car and can talk some woman into going home with them, life is good.

But what if you don't have those things? What happens when your spouse is unfaithful, your car gets re-possessed or you no longer have a job? Where is your security then?

We all believe that somewhere, or with someone, we will find protection. We will find a place or assume an identity that conceals our childish fears of being alone or being unhappy. For those of us that are blessed with warm and loving relationships with our parents, we suffer untold agonies at their passing wondering, how will I go on?

Here is the sad and painful truth of it all: there is no safety, no security and no hedge of protection with anybody but God.

Let me say that again: There is no man, no woman, no mother or father who can shield you from the pains and fears of life. No one is going to come and rescue you to get you out of that rut, out of that chair, help you to lose 10 pounds or find the life of your dreams. It's all up to you.

We often pray and ask God to place a 'hedge of protection' around this person or that as they struggle or experience the problems that come with living this life. But I don't think we understand what that really means.

See, in the book of Job, Satan was unable to get close to Job because God had placed a 'hedge' around him. Strong's Concordance says that 'hedge' means

A primitive root; to entwine, that is, shut in (for formation, protection or restraint): - fence. (make an) hedge (up).

Do you get that? That hedge was to 'shut' Job in for his 'protection.' In no other place in the Bible does God use the hedge analogy to describe a relationship other than the one He has with his people. In other words, God has not promised you that your mother will be your hedge of protection. He has not promised you that your father will be your hedge of protection. He has not promised you that your husband, wife, son, daughter, pastor, friend or neighbor will be your hedge of protection. For that matter, He did not promise you that your job, your figure or your good looks would be your hedge of protection either.

The only true place of safety; the only true place of refuge is in God.

Reflect on this as you ponder the rest of your day:

Psa 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

Psa 27:2 When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell.

Psa 27:3 Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident.

Psa 27:4 One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple.

Psa 27:5 For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.

Psa 27:6 And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the LORD.

God is your only Source of protection. In Him you will find refuge, peace and safety.

Today - I wish you protection in Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Amen....

Good Enough

2007-06-22T20:23:00.000-04:00

As I was logging in my calories for the day, recording how much exercise I'd gotten this week and tracking my other various goals, I had to stop and wonder - how do you know when what you are doing (or who you are) is Good Enough?

Is it Good Enough to attend church once a week or does it only count if you go to Bible Study, too? Is it Good Enough to get the recommended 30 minutes per day of exercise, or are your efforts worth only if you are training for a 5K? Is it Good Enough if you are happily single or do you only get points if you are Happily Married?

What does being Good Enough mean to you?

For me, being Good Enough involves a plethora of goals, benchmarks and daily habits. I won't bore you with all the things that prop up my weary self-esteem, but suffice it to say they are many and varied. Nights are spent conducting post-mortems on my day - what did I accomplish today? How close am I to my goals? What can I do to improve for tomorrow? Days are spent playing catch-up - sure I'm spiritual, but Sister Girl down the street goes to church way more often than I do. I make good money at work, but the guy down the hall makes at least $5000 more than I do. Do more, I think. Work harder, I repeat. What you are doing is not.....Good....Enough!!!

Do you ever feel this way?

So, as often happens during my neural overloads, I calm down, clear my mind and go to God in prayer. And, as always, He directs my thoughts, helps me to see further and makes me realize (yet again) the utter futility of judging myself by the world's standards.

He reminded me that He sees value in me. He shows me that the things that are important to Him are not the same as what the world considers important. Sure, He plans for me to have blessings and financial prosperity, but that is not the focus. The point is to DO HIS WILL. And in that will I find my worth.

And, for the first time, I saw the hidden meaning in Psalms 139:14. "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." I always thought that David meant that he was physically well made, but I finally saw that it wasn't all physical at all: God had made David "fearfully and wonderfully" SPIRITUALLY. While we are busy trying to achieve things here in the corporeal world, God is judging us by the quality of our spirits. He made us in His unique, wonderful, majestic image - spiritually. Our physical beings were mostly an afterthought. When God created us in His own image, He did so spiritually first.

And God's idea of Good Enough? It starts with that beautiful, wonderful spirit He created in each of us. He wants us to be spiritually developed, which should overflow into the physical realm. God's idea of Good Enough is us utilizing what He has given us to do the things He has called us to do. And that's Good....Enough.

Self-Destructive Behavior

2007-02-26T17:25:00.000-05:00

What is self-destructive behavior? According to WrongDiagnoses.com, self-destructive behavior can be defined as:

...behavior in which one has a tendency to do harm to oneself, either as a direct or indirect result of their actions; frequently marked by impulse, but also includes chronic, injurious behaviors. (Click here for reference)

It seems counter-intuitive that we would want to hurt ourselves, but our addictions to drinking, taking drugs, cutting, overeating and sexual promiscuity make it clear this is not the case. I'm sure you have either engaged in self-destructive behavior or know someone who has.

Why do we do it? From a spiritual perspective, it is clear that we have been targeted by an enemy that is out to do us harm. And, sometimes, the best way he can harm us is through ourselves. The Bible says, "The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy...(John 10:10)." We don't like to think of the demonic influences in this world, but they are real. If you belive in angels, you have to believe in their counter-force: demons.

The reason I mention this is because we tend to think that everything we think originates within ourselves. We think we are the captains of our own fates, shepherders of our own destinies and holders of the keys to the kingdoms. What's surprising to note, however, is the amount of influence Satan has over our thoughts and words. Jesus recognized Satan's influence when Peter berated him for talking about his upcoming crucifixion. The Bible says, "Then Peter took him, and began to rebuke him, saying, Be it far from thee, Lord: this shall not be unto thee. But he [Jesus] turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men. (Matthew 16:22-23)" Isn't it interesting that Peter thought he was saying a good thing, but it turned out to be a sign of demonic influence?

So are many of our actions and thoughts. Satan uses our thoughts to influence us in what we think and how we behave. As noted above, the 'thief' wants to kill, steal (your destiny, your joy, etc.) and destroy you by whatever means possible. It's much easier when we already have negative thoughts and inclinations (due to childhood traumas, low self-esteem, depression, etc.), but he will also send his minions to throw a little more gloom on an already gloomy day. You know how you seem to get thoughts from nowhere, but seem to make so much sense when you're down? Like, you'll be feeling low, contemplating a donut or two or three (or at least I do!) when you'll hear a voice that says, "Go ahead, eat it. It doesn't matter what you put in your body. You're never going to lose weight anyway." Or you decide that you don't want to get out of bed and that voice comes again to agree with you, saying, "Going to work is pointless. You hate it there. Nobody likes you and you don't like them! Stay home, relax. Don't even bother to call in." Or, in the worst cases, when someone you loves does something you feel is injurious and you heed to that voice that says, "She doesn't really love you. If she loved you, she wouldn't treat you that way. Women can't be trusted. You should just leave her. But first tell her what you can't stand about her. Hurt her the way she is hurting you." And you find yourself telling your best friend/partner off without even realizing why you're doing it.

Sure, many of those voices probably developed as a result of your bad experiences, but Satan will definitely use those things to speed up your demise. If he can leave you hopeless, alone, isolate you or help you fall into depression, he is more than happy. And if you start to drink, start taking drugs, find someone else's life to ruin, cut yourself or start to contemplate suicide, he's even happier.

How do you combat the enemy's influence? The Bible is very clear about the protection God affords His people. It says (in Ephesians 6:10-18 (CEV)):

Finally, let the mighty strength of the Lord make you strong.
Put on all the armor that God gives, so you can defend yourself against the devil's tricks.

We are not fighting against humans. We are fighting against forces and authorities and against rulers of darkness and powers in the spiritual world.

So put on all the armor that God gives. Then when that evil day comes, you will be able to defend yourself. And when the battle is over, you will still be standing firm.

Be ready! Let the truth be like a belt around your waist, and let God's justice protect you like armor.

Your desire to tell the good news about peace should be like shoes on your feet.

Let your faith be like a shield, and you will be able to stop all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

Let God's saving power be like a helmet, and for a sword use God's message that comes from the Spirit.

Never stop praying, especially for others. Always pray by the power of the Spirit. Stay alert and keep praying for God's people.

You have to stay close to God. Read His Word. Pray always. And allow His thoughts influence you and your behavior. Allow the Holy Spirit to lead and guide you and focus in on the positive affirmations and promises that God has for you. Don't allow Satan to influence you more than God. The Bible says, "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. (James 4:7)" Satan does not have unlimited power - he is only as powerful as you allow him to be in your life. Finally, I leave you with the words of Jesus:

Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. (Matthew 26:41)

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Articles, Advice

Men: Make Your Valentine's Day Special!

2007-02-14T17:56:00.000-05:00

Okay - I am admittedly not a big Valentine's Day fan. Mainly because I feel it has become too commercialized and more about what you get than celebrating your significant other.

But I'm always interested in opportunities to express love.

So, gentlemen, here is how to make your Valentine feel special all year long:

Call when you say you're going to.

Call just to say hello.

Tell her she's beautiful - for no reason.

Compliment her on what she's wearing.

Say what you mean - or don't say it.

Be honest, but not cruel.

Tell her what's on your mind (really).

Listen to her tell you what's on her mind.

And, finally - let her know that she is the only one. The one you love. The one you cherish. Make her feel special.

Simply put: love her all year round.

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Dating, Single

How Does a Person Find God?

2007-01-08T20:07:00.000-05:00

An anonymous reader posted this question the other day on this blog:

“I only have one question. How does a person find God? I admit I don'T attend Church like I should and I am ashamed to say that when I do I feel empty. I need some serious help.”

Here is my response:

Thank you for your question. I’m so glad you want to be closer to God!

Here’s what you should do:

Become a Christian

Are you a Christian? By that, I mean, have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? In order to become a Christian, you must accept who Jesus is, what he has done for you and allow him to be the Lord of your life. The Bible says, in Romans 10:9, “So you will be saved, if you honestly say, "Jesus is Lord," and if you believe with all your heart that God raised him from death.” That means you accept that Jesus died on the cross for you so that all your sins might be forgiven. And you must believe that he was resurrected by God. (You can read more about this here). If you are ready to accept Jesus as your Savior and become a Christian, then please do so now. Or if you already are a Christian, trust that you are ready to begin a deeper relationship with God.

Pray

If you are a Christian (or have just become one), the next thing you need to do is spend time with God through prayer. You will never get to know God if you don’t spend time with Him. Just like you invest your time in your family, your friends or your significant other, a good relationship with God means spending time. Dont' make it too hard on yourself - just talk and be prepared to listen. Talk to Him about what’s going on in your life. Let God know what your concerns are - openly and honestly. And be prepared to hear Him 'speak.' And how does God speak? Read this posting - How to Hear From God - to get some insight. Make sure you make time in your life to hear from God.

Study the Bible

The Bible is a way for God to let us know what’s on His mind. It covers the early days when He interacted with His people (the Old Testament), lots of rules, laws and regulations and then goes on talk about Jesus Christ (the Gospels) and the work of Jesus's apostles (the rest of the New Testament). It’s interesting reading, to say the least. By reading the Bible, you will get a much better idea of who God is, what He expects from you and how He operates. As an added bonus, you will be able to hear from God much more easily - you now speak His 'language' so to speak. By reading the Bible, you have discovered what He wanted you to know about Him, His promises to you, His ways and how He communicates to human beings. It's also important to know the Bible, because it will form the foundation of your understanding. Everything that you hear, read or experience will now be compared to what the Bible says. In this way, you will be able to determine the truth for yourself. I can't emphasize enought how important it is that you obtain knowledge about the Bible for yourself. People can tell you anything, but once you know, then you’ll always know – for yourself! Read the Bible to understand God better, to be able to communicate with Him better and to be able to discover the truth in your own life.

Consider going to church.

You can learn a whole lot about God from prayer and study, but going to church should help you accelerate this process. The pastor should be able to help you understand the Bible in new ways. It’s always a good idea to learn from people who know more about God than you – and there will always be someone who knows more than all of us about the Bible. You would benefit from having a teacher or a spiritual guide and be under the leadership of a good, solid church where they teach you the Word (the Bible). Bypass all the fanfare and hoopla and look for a place where you feel at home and where you feel you know more when you left than when you arrived. That place is out there for you.

If you are absolutely opposed to attending church, there are a lot of good ministries and support groups online as well. I would still say, however, that going to a brick and mortar church would be a good idea because, in addition to learning more about God and the Bible, you would get to know other Believers better. You will (hopefully) get to know other Godly people and be able to share your thoughts, doubts and struggles with them. Other Believers can offer support, affirmation and love and these are all very, very important things to have as you learn what it means to lead a Godly life and try to live your life a better way.

Trust the Holy Spirit

I would advise you to trust the voice of the Holy Spirit throughout this process. The Holy Spirit's specific role is to lead and guide you in daily living. (Read more about the Holy Spirit here and here .) The Holy Spirit is not a 'presence', a 'feeling' or a 'thing' - He is a person! He is, as my pastor says, God with us. Which means He is the little voice we hear in our ear when we are steadfastly trying to do the wrong thing, telling us not to do it. Or the twinge in our conscience reminding us to be kind to others, to call our mothers or to spend more time with our kids. He is the one fillng you up with positive messages, trying to keep you on the right path and helping you in your studies as you grow in the Lord. And the good thing about the Holy Spirit is that the more you listen to Him, the more He speaks! He will help lead and guide you through many tough situations in life and comfort you when you are down. You will come to depend on Him as you never have been able to depend on a person before. A relationship with God (and His Holy Spirit) is truly a beautiful thing!

The best news of all is that as you seek God, He will be making Himself available to you! He loves it when we try to become closer to Him! Seek Him and you will find Him.....

I promise.

Please let me know how your journey goes (or if you have any other questions) and I will be praying for you every step of the way.

God Be With You

Related Posts:

How to Hear From God
Getting Closer to God

Technorati Tags: Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Salvation, God

Why It's Important to Believe...

2007-01-08T09:30:00.000-05:00

In my last posting, I asked you what you believed. Now I want to talk about why it's important to believe. This won't be a warm and fuzzy version of why being a Christian is a good thing (I covered that in The Benefits of Loving God). This is not to say that there aren't a lot of positive benefits about being a Christian, however, there are also a lot of other very compelling reasons it's important to be a believer. Not to scare you or make you apprehensive, but:

The world is not becoming a better place. Every day, we see new evidence of 'man's inhumanity against man' - wars in all parts of the world, murder, genocide, drug use, and abusive behavior of all kinds. War is tearing up parts of Africa, sectarian violence is causing lives to be lost in Iraq. Our soldiers are losing their lives defending U.S. interests in other countries. North Korea and Iran are threatening the world with their nuclear weapons postures.

Not to mention other situations of growingconcern like the AIDS epidemic, famines and droughts and effects of greenhouse gases on our environment. In America, we have our own set of problems. Sure, we live in one of the most advanced countries in the world, but what has it brought us? A life of gluttony, overindulgence, soaring crime rates and a growing gap between the haves and have nots. The preliminary results of the FBI's Uniform Crime Report for January - June 2006 indicate that

...as a whole, law enforcement agencies throughout the Nation reported an increase of 3.7 percent in the number of violent crimes brought to their attention in the first half of 2006 when compared to figures reported for the first six months of 2005. The violent crime category includes murder, forcible rape, robbery, and aggravated assault.

Natural disasters about. China Daily says, "Natural disasters last year took the heaviest toll on lives since 1998...Ministry of Civil Affairs figures show natural disasters, such as typhoons, floods, landslides, mud-flows, hailstorms and earthquakes, claimed 3,155 lives in 2006, a quarter more than the previous year." The International News reports, "Major cities of Pakistan including Karachi, Quetta, Peshawar and Islamabad were in great danger of receiving earthquakes in the future..." And we can never forget the devastation caused by Hurricana Katrina.

Things are not getting better. And, with the confluence of all these events, I realize that many of the signs indicating we are nearing the end of our time here on earth are now present. The Bible is quite specific about what we are to expect during the end times. Matthew 24:6-14 says:

And ye shall hear of wars and rumors of wars; see that ye be not troubled: for these things must needs come to pass; but the end is not yet.

For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom; and there shall be famines and earthquakes in divers places.

But all these things are the beginning of travail.

Then shall they deliver you up unto tribulation, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all the nations for my name's sake.

And then shall many stumble, and shall deliver up one another, and shall hate one another.

And many false prophets shall arise, and shall lead many astray.

And because iniquity shall be multiplied, the love of the many shall wax cold.

But he that endureth to the end, the same shall be saved.

And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in the whole world for a testimony unto all the nations; and then shall the end come.

You can't help but to see the similarities between those predictions and worldwide conditions today. And - contrary to popular belief - Christians are not blind or naive. We simply know the Truth - that being in the arms of a Loving God is the safest place to be. Bush can't guarantee our safety. Nor can our guns, our house alarms, our local police departments or the air bags in our car. David says it best in Psalms 23:4:

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Safety can only be found with God.

And that is why it is important to believe.

Related Posts:

The Benefits of Loving God
The AIDS Virus is Killing the African-American Community
About the Sexual Revolution

Technorati tags:Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Articles, Advice

What Do You Believe?

2007-01-02T14:14:00.000-05:00

So what do you believe about God?

Do you believe He is present and active in your day-to-day life?

Or do you see Him as a more distant Life Force or Guide?

Perhaps you don't believe in Him at all....

In any case, the reason I ask is that I am learning more and more about what people commonly believe about God. As a somewhat traditional Christian (I believe in a personal and active God, the Trinity and salvation offerred through the death of Jesus Christ), I was fairly shocked to discover most Americans who say they are Christians do not subscribe to traditional Christian beliefs. Let's take Deists for example. Deism is defined as follows:

Deism is a religious philosophy and movement that became prominent in England, France, and the United States in the 17th and 18th centuries. Deists typically reject supernatural events (prophecy, miracles) and divine revelation prominent in organized religion, along with holy books and revealed religions that assert the existence of such things. Instead, deists hold that correct religious beliefs must be founded on human reason and observed features of the natural world, and that these sources reveal the existence of one God or supreme being.*

In other words, Deists believe that God exists, but don't believe that God interferes in the human experience through supernatural events or displays of His powers. Deists are closely aligned with Modernist thinkers who believe that the world can be discerned and understood through reason and logic.

Interesting, to say the least. However, noting the remarks made by friends, family and the like, I've come to the understanding that most people believe in God, but don't believe He is capable or desirous of intervening in human affairs. This thinking was particularly poignant around the time of 9/11. If God could truly do miracles, the thinking went, why didn't He save the passengers of the three planes that were taken over by the terrorists? Why didn't He miraculously save those who perished in the World Trade Center and the Pentagon? Why would He allow such tragedies to occur?

I can honestly say that I don't know. I do know, however, that people die in tragic circumstances around the world every day. The conflicts in Africa, the killing and sectarian violence that occur daily in Iraq, and the lives taken by the drug cartels in South America are good examples of such. It's just funny how many of us only began to question the powers of a Sovereign God when tragedy struck right here on our home turf. But that's a subject for another posting.

Today I am only interested in you. What do you believe about God?

I'm looking forward to hearing your responses!

Deism. (n.d.). Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Retrieved January 02, 2007, from Reference.com website: http://www.reference.com/browse/wiki/Deism

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Articles, Advice

Fruit of the Spirit: Goodness

2006-12-03T10:12:00.000-05:00

Galations 5:22-23: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

Who'd like to be considered 'good'? All of us, right? But what exactly does it mean (from a Biblical context)?

According to Strong's Concordance, the word 'goodness' as found in Galations 5:22 means 'virtue'. Virtue itself is defined as 'moral excellence; goodness; righteousness' or 'conformity of one's life and conduct to moral and ethical principles'1. I like how that sounds. So, in order to develop the fruit of 'goodness', I need to achieve moral excellence and conform myself to the moral principles embodied in the Bible.

It seems so simple when it's put that way. Much harder, however, is the effort to become virtuous. If we could achieve holiness on our own, as my Pastor often says, we wouldn't need God at all. But it's obvious that we do.

So how do we become 'virtuous' or 'good'? A hint can be found in Matthew 19:17, when Jesus was speaking to the rich young man who wanted to know what he had to do to attain eternal life. Jesus said:

.....Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments.

Jesus let him (and us through scripture) know there was none good but God. Therefore, we can conclude that goodness has to be bestowed upon us by God. And that we can only achieve 'moral excellence' by following God and by adhering to His commandments.

1 virtue. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.0.1). Retrieved December 03, 2006, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/virtue

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, fruit, good

Storing Up Hate

2006-09-29T10:29:00.000-04:00

Where do you think all that anger goes when you're upset with somebody? What do you suppose happens to the rage, jealousy, spite and antipathy you feel towards another person?

Ever think about it?

Ever wonder why sometimes you can't sleep, overeat, over-indulge or are all too often depressed?

Let me tell you where all those emotions go - absolutely nowhere.

You store them all up in your body, in your spirit and sometimes in your mind.

You ever notice how something will happen and then, once you've played it over and over in your mind, you can't seem to let it go? You ever notice how after becoming angry with someone, you have a headache, feel sick or all of a sudden become depressed? You ever notice how you can't seem to get a prayer through, and putting down that 'ought' (grudge) you bear against your brother won't come easy?

You have to learn to let go.

What most people don't acknowledge (or seem to care about) is that you do more damage to yourself than to another person when you let things go unresolved. When you plan revenge for some imagined wrong. Or when you replay that event over and over in your mind (or keep re-telling that same 'ol story over and over again). The short-term damage is bad enough (bad nerves, frayed temper, vague and amorphous pain), but the long-term effects can be deadly - stress contributes to so many illnesses that you risk your very health by choosing to hold onto that grudge instead of letting it go! Not to mention the spiritual fallout - you can't seem to 'hear' from God, you find your prayer times falling by the wayside, and no amount of rejuvenative efforts seem to be able to rejuvenate your spirits.

Here's what I want you to do if you have things you need to resolve:

Let them go!

And how do you do that?

1. Pray and ask God to help you be delivered of these problems.

2. Review the incident or problem in your mind and see if there's anything (positive) you can do about it. If you can do something, then do it. If not, then go to step 3.

3. Acknowledge the problems you can do nothing about. Release it to God, ask Him to remedy the situation and then let it go. Letting go means you give up your right to keep thinking about it repetitively, talk about it to your friends for the hundredth time, call that person up and lay him out on the carpet, or (and this is the important one) continue to harbor negative feelings about it. Letting go means giving up your right to remedy the situation and leaving it in God's hands. Period.

Feel better? Okay, now breathe....And go on to Step 4.

4. Replace all that negative energy with good and happy thoughts. Every time you are tempted to re-visit it, think of something good instead. Studies have shown you can trick your brain into thinking you are in a good mood by smiling. Try smiling as you think these happy thoughts.

Repeat as necessary.

And - the next time you encounter a situation or problem that gets your dander up - choose to act in advance. Before you even get good and angry about it, resolve within yourself to let it go. Don't even allow it to take root in your heart. Don't allow yourself to dwell on it. And resist all inclinations to pitch a fit. LET.................IT.................GO!!

You'll feel much better in the end.

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Articles, Advice

Stunting Your Spiritual Growth

2006-09-17T08:47:00.000-04:00

Ever wonder why you find it so hard to grow in God? Do you ever feel frustrated by your level (or lack) of spirituality? I can't give you all the reasons you might not be growing in God, but I can definitely point out one: You.

If you've been a Christian for any length of time, you know how hard it is to 'go through'. How hard it can be to face trial after trial, tribulation after tribulation. How long sleepless nights lead to long empty days until you finally feel you've HAD ENOUGH! That if this 'season' wasn't over, it was definitely time for it to be over. So you take matters into your own hands.

You begin to pray a little less. And hang out with your friends a little more. Or watch a little more tv. Or pay a little more attention to that cutie who sits across from you at work.

Anything to avoid doing what you need to do: spend more time with God. Get through these circumstances. Spiritually grow.

I find that many of us cut off our spiritual growth in one of two ways. We either begin to neglect our spiritual activities (prayer, Bible study, meditation and fasting) or throw ourselves into physical activities to avoid thinking about those things. Our bodies (or our flesh) can operate in direct opposition to God in many ways, and we often pursue physical activity in order to avoid the things of God. You know what I mean - you start to eat a little more or tv becomes oh so appealing suddenly. You engage in more sex, do a little more drinking or hang out more than usual.

Here's a sad truth to all that activity: you can delay, but you cannot deny. You can avoid what God is trying to tell you, detour from your trial or tribulation, but it is never going to go away.

Until you deal with what is required of you, you will have to re-visit that territory again and again - until you get it right.

So next time you find yourself in a tough spot, learn to bear it. Go through what you have to go through, cry when you need to cry and....get past it. God truly designs trials to bring out the best in us, so be assured that the 'you' that waits on the other side of the circumstances will be well worth the pain you had to go through to get there!

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Pain, God

What is 'True'?

2006-09-04T09:48:00.000-04:00

I was praying the other day while I was feeling overwhelmed by everything that was going on in my life. Between school, work, friends, family, ministry, etc., I was beginning to feel like it was all a bit too much.

So I prayed and went through this whole griping and moaning routine about my life, trying to get God to feel sorry for me and maybe do some type of miracle so that I could maybe feel better about myself (admit it - you do it, too!). And somewhere in the midst of my self-pity, I learned a pretty interesting thing:

What is true? That's the questioned that was presented to me. What is true, I wondered. Well, it's true that I am tired and run-down and can't remember my mission or focus half the time. Okay, I was asked then, what is 'True'? And I'm thinking, what's the difference?

The difference, I discovered, was the difference between what was technically going on in my life (true) versus the spiritual lessons I was learning ('True'). Yes, it was true that I was often tired and run-down from trying to manage multiple obligations, but it was also 'True' that I was learning patience, endurance and long-suffering. And, yes, it was true that things had not worked out exactly the way I had planned, but it was also 'True' that I had learned to have greater faith and greater trust and had more confidence that God's will for my life was much better than any of my own plans.

So, the next time you're having a tough day, just remember to compare your 'true' with your 'True'. God is still working in your life and you can find the lesson in almost every experience.

Be Blessed!

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, God, True

About Me....

2006-09-01T11:22:00.000-04:00

Let me say first that I am not one of those bloggers who feel like you probably want to know every detail of my life, my relationships, my dreams, my mom, etc. There are many very good personal blogs out there that cover those subjects very well and I am in no way disparaging the journal-blog genre.

But I started this blog to focus on God and use my personal experiences to highlight the way God can work in an everyday, ordinary Christian's life.

But, like you, as I read the posts of my favorite bloggers, I find myself becoming just a little bit curious about who they are, how they've turned into this person that I read every day and just simple things like, are they married, do they work full-time, etc.

So I thought I'd write just a little bit about me ---- just in case you were curious.

I am a 34 year old single woman. I formally committed my life to God at age 24, after I got tired of dating, running around and pretending like I could make it on my own. I am employed full-time by the Federal government and currently live in Michigan. I am in a very happy relationship with a wonderful guy about whom I cannot write (because he would kill me!). Suffice it to say that he is, in many ways, the man I've always dreamed about and I'm very happy God brought him into my life.

Other than that, I just started going back to school this fall (finally!). I am pursuing my degree in Psychology, because I'd like to have the paper to back up what I am passionate about. Are degrees necessary in ministry? That's a subject we could debate all day long - I just felt that since this will (eventually) be my full-time calling, it would benefit me (and you) to get as much knowledge as possible. But of course I know just as many wise people who have never been to anybody's college. Maybe that will be the subject of a post some other day....

Mostly I just wanted to tell you all that I'm really lovin' this whole blogging experience! I had started a website about a year and a half ago, but blogging is so much more immediate and connecting. I've enjoyed every single person I've met and I love reading what my brothers and sisters have to say about life, love and God.

I hope that you all have benefited in some way by visiting me here and I promise to do my absolute best to pass on the knowledge that God has so graciously imparted to me.

If you get nothing else out of this blog, I hope you know that GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD! He Does answer prayers and He Does hear our cries.

And that's it.

Talk to you all soon!!!!

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, God, Blogging

The Real Problem With Sin

2006-08-26T08:15:00.000-04:00

I think about sin a lot. What the Bible says about it. Why we find it so easy to fall into it. Why some things are harder to put down than others.

I know God's admonitions against sin. In Romans 6:12, Paul says "Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof." So we shouldn't allow sin to reign in our lives.

And I know that God felt so strongly about sin, that when Paul spoke about fornication, he advised us to flee. Literally, to run away from sin before it could overtake us.

So I can gather from these and other verses that God feels pretty strongly about our sin. And that we should not allow sin to rule us. Or dominate our lives.

But you know what I've discovered the real problem is with sin? That it separates us from God.

I know, I know - you've heard it all before, but it doesn't seem to have much impact in your lives. But what does separation from God really mean?

We can't hear from God.

We are further from God's protection.

We can't experience intimacy with God (comforting, consolation, worship or fellowship).

We cannot hear His guidance, His warnings or get clear direction for our lives.

And why would you want that?

Our relationship with God was intended to be a close-knit, mutually beneficial, supportive relationship. And sin separates us from the Only One who can meet our deep-seated needs for love, companionship, communion and belonging.

It's not so much the harm we do to ourselves when we sin that is so detrimental to us, but the harm we do to our relationship with the One who really loves us.

Think about it.

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, God, Sin

Fruit of the Spirit: Gentleness

2006-07-23T16:22:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking about this topic quite a bit over the last couple of weeks.

Gentleness.

The other fruit we've covered - love, joy, peace, longsuffering - I tend to think of as attributes. Gentleness, to me, is something that directly impacts every person in our lives. Gentleness potentially has a huge impact on how we treat other people and perhaps even how those people treat themselves.

Gentleness. The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition defines it as "Considerate or kindly in disposition; amiable and tender." Hmm. Tender. How often do we hear that word? And how often do we treat other people with love and....tenderness? Not too often, huh?

Our society seems to value those who speak the most candidly. Being blunt is considered to be a positive attribute of its own. Temporarily, we all tried to be politically correct, but that madness quickly passed. And whoever speaks the loudest these days is the person to whom we listen. We have radio hosts like Howard Stern. Media favorites like Rosie O'Donnell. And outspoken critics like Bill O'Reilly. On our tvs and on our radios every single day. But few people are talking about tenderness.

And I admit I'm not much better. I've always been known for my bluntness. And it serves me well in ministry, but (and this is a big but) not in too many other places. I believe it is okay, under the direction of the Holy Spirit, to tell a person how they can grow in Christ, what steps they need to take to be closer to God or areas in their spiritual lives which need improvement. It is not okay, however, to feel that you are the world's spiritual advisor. Instead of condemning anybody else here, I will just condemn myself: it is not okay for me to tell my friends, family and strangers like why their lives are a mess, why they need to get themselves together or why they are falling so far short of their individual marks. But I have. And, occasionally, I still do. But I'm learning...

I'm learning that God values discretion, gentleness, and yes - tenderness - in our dealings with people. It shows so clearly in Proverbs 15:1, where it says:

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger

A soft word turns aside bad feelings, strife and discord. But words that are harsh just stir things up. A good proverb for me to know.

And you know what I've learned? Being harsh towards someone else never solves a problem. It just engenders bad feelings. You've seen this for yourself - you've been in many situations where something happened where you felt that the proper response included 'breaking someone down' (i.e., cutting another person up emotionally, stripping them of their psychological defenses and exposing their faults to the world). And have you ever seen it help? I mean think about it. Really. After you've told your friends about it and and they've cheered over every word you said, where did it all end up? You - feeling badly because the Holy Spirit has reminded you that you shouldn't treat people that way. And the other person - bitter, angry, embarassed and hurt. And you have definitely not made that other person see his or her (real or imagined) faults. People automatically rush to defend themselves (right or wrong) in the face of an onslaught. And that's what you were - an onslaught. Remember - HARSHNESS BEGATS HARSHNESS. I don't believe you or I will ever get anywhere as long as we treat people unkindly.

But you know what I have seen work? Calmly talking to another person about what's going on. Asking that person how he or she see things instead of always forcing your point of view on that person. Taking the time to explain how some situation or unkind word affected you - not assuming that person knows and simply doesn't care. In other words, being kind instead of boisterous, self-righteous or hard.

Gentleness. Tenderness.

It's what Jesus showed his diciples as they asked him question after question. At times, they even questioned who he was! He never lost patience. He always spoke kindly. And he equipped those disciples to establish a religion that has had a world-wide impact. That shows clearly the power of a kind word.

Can you be kinder to those who are around you? Can you practice tenderness as you help guide your spiritual brothers and sisters on their own spiritual journeys?

Gentleness.

Something the world could use a whole lot more of...

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Articles, Gentleness

Summer Madness

2006-07-07T18:43:00.000-04:00

Oh, dear readers, I must confess - I've been neglecting you. I think of you often. I wonder how you are. I promise myself that I'll get back to writing soon. But something has overtaken me:

Summer Madness.

Every year it hits me and every year I am surprised by it.

Summer is absolutely, positively my favorite season of the year. I love the heat, I love the clothing, and I love all the outdoor activities. If I haven't traveled all year, I am newly inspired to find some place to go. If I've traveled, I seek locations that represent the season - warm, lush and inviting. If I have new clothes, I want to wear them as soon as I get them home. If I have old clothes, I try to find new ways to wear them. Is it just me?!?

I feel alive. I feel reborn. And, by summer's end: I am exhausted! So much to do. So much to see. So many outdoor festivals to attend. I absolutely love to people watch, and it doesn't get any better than in the midst of midriff tops, low riders, couples and singles alike.

So I have been neglecting you.

I'd like to tell you that I'm growing spiritually as I loaf outside reading my favorite books, catch yet another flight to yet another place or mindlessly watch tv, but that would be untrue. Between early mornings and late nights, I pray (but just barely), read some scriptures (but not nearly as consistently as in the cooler months) and I make plans for my ministry (but mostly just enjoy the sun).

So I ask for your forgiveness and your prayers, but mostly, I hope you all are having fun, too!

How is this summer going for you?

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Summer, Fun

Fruit of the Spirit: Longsuffering

2006-06-22T18:38:00.000-04:00

The next fruit of the Spirit we are going to cover is longsuffering. And, let me say something calmly and rationally before we begin:

I HATE longsuffering. You know what 'longsuffering' means? You got it - to suffer loooong. The The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition defines longsuffering as 'Patiently enduring wrongs or difficulties.' Okay, so not only do you have to endure WRONGS and DIFFICULTIES (in case you missed it), but you have to ENDURE them PATIENTLY. Yeah, right.

And, Wordnet defines longsuffering as 'patient endurance of pain or unhappiness'. So not only do you have to endure wrongs or difficulties, but you also have to endure PAIN and UNHAPPINESS. Did you get that - PAIN and UNHAPPINESS. Patiently. Alrighty, then.

And this is why I didn't want to write this post. I'm no good at stuff like this. I mean, I can suffer as well as the next person - FOR A LITTLE WHILE. And maybe even with a little patience thrown in (if I'm having a really good day) But to PATIENTLY endure PAIN, UNHAPPINESS, WRONGS and DIFFICULTIES for a LONG, LONG TIME??!! No way.

Not that this argument cuts me any slack with God. As I come to Him in the midst of my pain (unhappiness, experiencing wrongs and difficulties), He admonishes me to be patient. He talks to me, He comforts me. But you know what He doesn't do? He doesn't make my pain, unhappiness, wrong or difficulty go away. He gives me just enough to make it for another period of time until I have to come crawling back to Him to be restored, renewed and refreshed enough to go on....until the next time. Eventually, my difficulty (pain, wrong or unhappiness) goes away and I rejoice. And I try to forget that those bad seasons come (because I HATE longsuffering - did I mention that?). But, much like you, I'm always like, what gives? Why do we have to painfully SUFFER for a long time and ENDURE it with such PATIENCE? Why, Lord, why? (Or am I the only one who thinks this way?)

So today we will journey together as we try to answer those questions. And the most important one: Why does God want us to be longsuffering?

First of all, I'm thinking this whole longsuffering thing is pretty serious, since it comes right after love, joy and peace (the happy fruits). And, since, longsuffering has everything to do with endurance, I am going to try and find out why it is so important that we learn to endure. Which will answer my other questions. Namely, how do we benefit from learning to endure? And why does God require us to endure?

To endure means to carry on, no matter what is going on around us. One reason I discovered that we should endure is because God does. Psalm 9:7 says 'But the LORD shall endure for ever: he hath prepared his throne for judgment.' This verse speaks to the everlasting nature of God and how, at the end of our time here on earth, God will sit forever on His throne (after Satan has been dealt with). So His endurance is for a purpose - to last until our time here ends and our time with Him begins. So, out of this we can get two things: 1) We should endure because it is a Godly atrribute (and we are always want to be more like Him) and 2)We should endure because we also wait until the Lord Jesus returns and our earthly time here is at an end.

Endurance is actually mentioned in specific connection to the end times. In Matthew 24, Jesus speaks about end-time signs. He says

Mat 24:4 And Jesus answered and said unto them, Take heed that no man deceive you. Mat 24:5 For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many. Mat 24:6 And ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet. Mat 24:7 For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places.

Jesus then goes on to talk about other things that will happen and then mentions the importance of endurance. He says 'But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.' So endurance appears to play a key part in our ability to surmount the challenges that will face us during the end times.

By enduring, we also show ourselves to be good soldiers in Christ, as stated in 2 Timothy 2:3, 'Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.' Endurance also helps us to participate in God's work of salvation: by enduring affliction of any kind, we can more readily preach the gospel of Jesus Christ, as Paul makes clear in 2 Timothy 2:10 'Therefore I endure all things for the elect's sakes, that they may also obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory.' So it is part of our service to other people.

However, the most important part of suffering seems to be the eventual effect it will have on us: suffering will repair us, strengthen us and make us more grounded. 1 Peter says its it so clearly here:

1Pe 5:6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: 1Pe 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 1Pe 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: 1Pe 5:9 Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world. 1Pe 5:10 But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. (emphasis mine)

So longsuffering is so very important because it determines our character. It helps us to be more like God. It prepares us for the challenges of the end time. It helps us as ministers of the gospel to be able to spread the Good News. And, finally, it makes us stronger. It helps us to mature in the faith and to be able to face whatever difficulties we are sure to face.

In that light, I'm thinking this longsuffering thing isn't as bad as I've always thought it was (and I'm starting to feel badly that I've always thought so poorly of it). Turns out it wasn't the torture chamber I always envisioned it to be, but God's way of making me over exactly the way I had always asked Him to. To grow me up, to mature me, to make be better able to withstand life's difficulties. Not just to let me suffer needlessly, but to make me a better person and a (much) better Christian.

I think I can live with that.

How about you?

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Patience, Suffering

The Other Woman

2006-06-19T18:37:00.000-04:00

I just heard the story today of an older woman whose husband left her for 'the other woman'. Apparently, her husband had been involved in an affair with this woman for 10-15 years. To add insult to injury, after he left her, she discovered he had been moving money out of their joint accounts (and out of his retirement account) to accounts she couldn't touch - in preparation for being with his 'other woman'. This woman is now facing a lengthy court battle, as she tries to regain the money he has, in effect, stolen from her.

There are so many things wrong with this story, it's hard to know where to begin. But I'd actually like to focus on the 'other woman'. (I am in no way implying that her husband was not at fault, but I believe this woman was just as guilty.) The reason this 'other woman' interests me so much is that I'd dearly love to know what's been going on in her mind for these last 10 years or so of her life.

Okay, I'm thinking, she meets this man, they become involved and then they apparently decide they are 'in love' with each other (and, believe me, that's a whole different post). She continues to spend time with him, sleep with him and be in a relationship with this man as he goes home every night to his wife. He probably tells her that he will leave his wife for her (one day) and then she probably aids and abets this man's efforts to re-appropriate money from his and his wife's account and most of his retirement account. He (finally) leaves his wife and they then live happily ever after? I don't think so.

Why not? Because I believe, as the Bible says, that you reap what you sow (or, as the world calls it, 'karma'). Why does this woman think that she is entitled to any happiness with a man who committed adultery (with her) on his wife, stole money from his wife, and spent the last 10+ years lying and being deceptive with this same wife? And, even worse than that - she knew what was going on! She was an integral part of it all - and allowed it to happen. Year after year, month after month, dollar by dollar that was stolen.

I guess my real question is this - Why do women allow themselves to become the 'other woman'? Somebody please explain this to me.

Yes, I know that some people believe you can't help who you fall in love with, but I have a big problem with that line of thinking. You may not be able to help who you fall in love with, but you can certainly help who you think about, who you spend time with and who you sleep with. And I know all about low self-esteem, so that's not a good excuse for me, either. And I know that some women believe there is a shortage of good men, but does that justify stealing someone else's?

I may be a romantic at heart, but I am a realist by nature. And, as a realist, I can realistically say that a marriage or relationship that is founded on lying and deceit has very little chance of lasting. And why (as a woman) would you even want to be with a man who has already proven himself to be a liar? I just don't get it.

Hopefuly, someone will enlighten me, soon!

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Marriage, Cheating

You Are Exactly Where You're Supposed to Be

2006-06-15T18:57:00.000-04:00

Do you ever feel like life has just passed you by?

Or, even worse - that you are further behind (in life, in your finances, in your marriage prospects) than you ought to be?

Oh, the world of regrets. Sometimes this world can be more fruitful than our real, everyday lives!

I’ve often been guilty of this phenomenon myself. People will say something to me like, you’re so lucky to have advanced in your career as far as you have. And I will (predictably) say something like, yes, I’m happy about where I am, but I wish I had started trying to advance my career much earlier in life. Think of how much further along I’d be! (And this line of thinking carries over into how much money I’ve managed to save, how close I am to God or how much travel I’ve done in my life.) It’s a common pitfall for us all.

You can see this way of thinking clearly when it comes to people investing their money. Many people will buy a stock and avidly watch its upward (and downward) progression on the stock exchange. Any upswings are greeted with joy and exhilaration. Any downswings with pessimism and dismay. And you know what people seem to remember the most? How much they would have had if a) some economic crisis hadn't occurred; b) if they had sold their stock and re-bought it when the price had dropped; or c) how much money they would have had the stock not lost some (or all) of its value. In other words, they don’t see their increased portfolio balance so much as a gain, but as a loss of where they could have been had things been different. Does this sound like you?

What a waste of time! Even if you've never done it with money, I bet you've done it with some other area of your life. Instead of seeing your life in terms of what you have gained - the goodness and mercy of God, better health or wealth, or a well-functioning, blended family - you see it in terms of where you think you should be - a minister instead of a deacon, a 3K instead of a 5K runner or a possessor of a long-term marriage instead of a divorcee with a great second spouse. Why, oh why do we do this to ourselves?

Someone once said that happiness is wanting what you have. Do you want what you have? Would you be happier if you knew that where you are is exactly where you are supposed to be? And, as a consequence - that what you have is exactly what you are supposed to have?

I know it would go a long way with me.

If the idea that you are exactly where you are supposed to be would make you happy, I've got good news for you! Here it is - you are exactly where you are supposed to be!

How do I know?

Well, first of all, you have the benefit of all my frustrated prayers to God - where I would question His wisdom in telling me I was to accomplish certain things, but would make me wait so long for those things to happen. Or where I would question Him about different situations that had come up in my life (parental neglect, bad relationships) and ask Him why those things had to happen. Wouldn't I have been much better off, I often ended, if my life had just gone more smoothly? If I had started publicly writing in my 20's instead of in my 30's? Wouldn't things be much better for me, I would ask, if I just could have gotten an earlier start in life?

And He always reminds me of why the answer is always the same - No.

He's nice about it and all, don't get me wrong. As He gently brings to my remembrance my immaturity in my 20s (when I wasn't fit to write advice for myself, much less for anyone else), and the important lessons I learned about self-esteem and self-love from having been emotionally neglected as a child, He's patient, kind and loving. As He reminds me how I've grown in compassion and patience through failed relationship after failed relationship and learning from my mistakes, I slowly start nodding my head in agreement. And, finally, He reviews with me how I've spent more time with Him as a result of being single all this time, and how my singleness has contributed to my being in tune with Him. And how all these things have allowed Him to shape me in His own way, in His own way and in His own timing. To (finally) be ready to be in ministry under His terms and not my own.

And I have to agree that He is right.

But, way more important than my own personal experiences are clues that the Bible gives about our destiny in Christ. After God reminds me of the importance of waiting for His timing, I am often drawn to this scripture in Isiah:

Isa 55:6 Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: Isa 55:7 Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. Isa 55:8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.Isa 55:9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.Isa 55:10 For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: Isa 55:11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.

Which reminds me that I don't know as much as God does (no matter how logical or inspired my thinking may be) and that I cannot always understand why He does what He does because I'm not God. And never will be. But, it also reassures me that His word has had the desired effect in my life - to make me into the woman of God He would have me to be. And that there is a purpose in it all.

And then I consider this scripture in Jeremiah:

Jer 1:4 Then the word of the LORD came unto me, saying, Jer 1:5 Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

Which always blows my mind - to think that God knew me even before I was born! And shaped and created me to be exactly the way He wanted me to be. And that, before I were even born, He had a plan for me. That is Awesome!

King David trusted in God implicitly and made many declarations of dependence and reliance upon God. Psalms 16:11, he said 'Thou wilt shew me the path of life:' Because David knew that God would guide Him in all the important areas of life. If he relied upon Him. So it makes me more inclined to follow God myself - knowing that He will lead and guide me as well.

King Solomon reinforced the image of God's guidance and leading in Proverbs 3:5-6, where he says: 'Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.' And the 'path' in this scripture means "a well trodden road (literally or figuratively); also a caravan: - manner, path, race, rank, traveller, troop, [by-, high-] way". So, from this, I can know that God will direct me in this race of life as I travel along life's road.

So, with all this leading and guiding that God does, doesn't it make sense to assume that He is leading us all with a purpose? To a destiny that He has already planned out for us?

Romans 8:28-30 puts the icing on the cake for me when it says:

Rom 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Rom 8:29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.Rom 8:30 Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.

We always remember the part of this scripture about all things working together for good for those of us who are called, but we often fail to add the part about God's foreknowledge of us and his predestination for us. This is not to imply that we have no choice in how our lives are lived - we do - but it does suggest that as we submit to God's leading, we will fall in line with His glorious plan for each of our lives. Which will put us - you guessed it - exactly where we are supposed to be!

It always gives me great joy to remember all these scriptures and to contemplate the fact that God thought about me even before I was born and planned a unique and special life for me. He knew me, He knows me and He will always be available to lead and guide me along life's roads - even when I feel like I'm in a rut, at a standstill or wandering in the wilderness. And that is the same for you as well - He knows you, He knows where you are and He knows where He intends for you to be. The path you are on may not look exactly like the road you thought you were going to take, but rest assured it is the path that you were destined to be on.

And, finally, in Jeremiah 29:11, God clearly tells us that He has good plans for our lives. It says ' For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (NIV)' Now in the King James Version, this verse ends with the words 'expected end'. And the Jameison-Faussett-Brown Commentary tells us that this 'expected end' "literally means, 'end and expectation,' that is, an end, and that such an end as you wish for".

So if you had no reason to rejoice before, this verse alone should give you reason! Not only does God lead and guide you and have a Master Plan for your life, He is telling you that His plans for hyou are good and that He wants to give you the end that you desire. And wouldn't that be great!

So, I don't know about you, but I am guessing that I will learn to be content right where I am - especially since this is exactly where God wants me to be! I hope you feel the same way :)

Be Blessed.

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Articles

Fruit of the Spirit: Peace

2006-06-10T11:14:00.000-04:00

Peace? Yeah, I remember peace. It's that feeling I get when I wake up in the morning. It's when the day seems all new and fresh - filled with possibilities. It's what arrives in large measure as I pray to God. He renews me. He touches my life. He reassures me. And, many times, He chastises me as He sets me (yet again) on the right path.

It's that feeling that hits its pinnacle as I cast my cares on God - tell Him all about my problems, ask Him what He's going to do about them, and then listen as He (yet again) reassures me that everything is going to be alright. And then tells me what I need to do.

And everything is just fine.

But then I get out of bed.

And get on that daily treadmill called life as I begin my daily hurried, rush-rush type behavior that sends me zooming through the house to iron my clothes, shower and run, run, run to my car to get to my bus stop on time.

And that feeling of peace slowly dissipates as I avoid crazy drivers who I am convinced are trying to kill me (okay, I may be one of those drivers on some days). And then I run to the bus stop so that I can hurry up and wait for my frequently (very) late bus. And my foot taps. And I rock from side to side. And once again fantasize about the joys of driving to work before high gas prices and high parking put those dreams (temporarily) on hold. But it's all good, right? (At least that's what I try to convince myself)

And that peace thing? I may regain it a bit later as I read my morning Word and listen to my 'Morning Joy' mix on my Ipod (cuz, no matter how late it is, the bus eventually shows up), but it quietly begins to fade into the background as I reach my stop, face my office building and start that long walk that takes me through security, up the elevators and to my anonymous 'pod'. My place in the world for the next eight hours (excluding lunch).

And that feeling of peace? It flickers out of existence as I go through eight hours of conflict, strife, tedium, trivial matters, frustration, faked bonhomie and relief as my day finally ENDS!

Peace.

Yeah, I'd like to have a little more of that. Wouldn't you?

I'd like to take a look at what the Bible says about peace, but not in anything approaching a typical manner. If I hear one more cliche about 'eace like a river' or 'peace in the midst of adversity', I think I will SCREAM. This is real life we are talking about, and it's rare that I feel anything initially other than anger in the midst of my own personal adversity. Sure, God, eventually gets through to me and I calm down, but if left up to my own instincts, I would be one sad and frustrated sister.

So I will be looking at a hands-on, clear-cut, practical application of this whole peace phenomenon. For my sake and for yours (so that you can hear me stop complaining about it). Okay - here we go.

Romans 14:17 has an intriguing take on peace to me. It says that "For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost. " (I talked about the 'joy' aspect in Fruit of the Spirit: Joy)
It seems to imply that not only is peace essential to the Christian walk, but it is actually part of the 'kingdom of God'. And what is the kingdom of God? Is it a place? Surprisingly, no. The first mention of this kingdom is in Matthew 6:33, where Jesus advises us to seek it first (before all other things). So, from this we can gather it's something we can find. Then Jesus talks about it in Matthew 12:28, where he says if he casts out devil, the kingdom of God is come upon us. So it seems to have a lot to do with the power of God. In Matthew 21:43, Jesus says that this kingdom can be taken away from us. So obviously it is not a tangible place or thing.

This 'kingdom of God' best corresponds to the 'power' of God. When we think of the God's power, we tend to think of all the miracles He performed, the plagues against the Egyptian Pharaoh, the parting of the Red Sea or Jesus healing lepers and the blind. But much of the 'power' of God is also contained in the power of salvation, the work and existence of the Holy Spirit, our righteousness through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and the grace and mercy that He has given to us (time and again).

Jesus says in Mark 4:11 "And he said unto them, Unto you it is given to know the mystery of the kingdom of God: but unto them that are without, all these things are done in parables:" So, as Christians, we are able to discern these mysteries, but to non-believers,it will always remain a mystery.

So how does peace play a role in all this? Paul said (in the above-quoted Romans 14:17), that the kingdom of God was, in part, made of peace (along with righteousness and joy). So, if the kingdom of God is the power of God and peace is one of its building blocks, then our having peace in our lives allows us to access the powerenables Wow! It endables us to be the conduit through which the Holy Spirit can work. To operate in our uniquely given spiritual gifts. To heal and to teach; prophesy and preach. Peace is an integral part of the working of the power of God in our lives.

I believe this to be true simply because when I don't have peace (defined by Strong's Concordance as quietness and rest), I don't hear from God. I don't clearly feel the touch of God and cannot clearly identify the leading of His Holy Spirit. So, peace is much more than having a 'restful' state of mind - it is the very gateway of our access to the power of God. Without peace, we cannot truly operate in our spiritual gifts or carry out the work of God.

That's deep.

I've always thought of peace simply as a state of mind, but from the above research, I see now that it is 1)a spiritual gift; 2)part of the kingdom of God and 3)the way we gain access the power of God. Definitely something I want to have.

So how do we get this 'peace'?

In John 14:26-27, Jesus first tells his apostles about the coming of the Holy Spirit and how He would comfort them. Then he tells them "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." So peace originates from God.

Romans 8:6 says that to be spiritually minded is life and peace. So, to have peace, we must be followers of the Holy Spirit (allowing Him to lead and guide us).

2 Corinthians 13:11 admonishes us to "Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you." 'Perfect' means "seek after perfection in knowledge, grace, and holiness, and in the performance of good works (John Gills Exposition of the Bible)", 'of good comfort' means to exhort (cheer up) and pray for others and live in peace means just that. So in order to obtain peace, we have to seek after God and maturity in our faith, do for others and live in peace with others.

And, finally, Philippians 4:6-7 says: "In nothing be anxious; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. (ASV)" So we have to stop worrying, let God know all that is in our hearts (and turn them over to Him), and peace will be ours.

I like that. I like not having to carry around my own concerns (driving myself and poor friends and family crazy). I like that God cares enough to listen to my supplications (which, for me, includes complaining, whining and the like). And I like the fact that in exchange for all my bad behavior, He gives me peace. I am definitely on the winning end of this bargain.

I know now that I am going to try harder to attain and maintain my own personal peace. How about you?

What have your experiences been with peace?

How do you think your daily 'peace' walk is faring?

Any other tips you can share with me and other readers about peace?

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Peace, Advice

Fruit of the Spirit: Joy

2006-06-01T18:55:00.000-04:00

Gal 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Gal 5:23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

Joy, oh joy, where art thou?

I don't know about you, but as I go through my day-to-day life, I find this idea of 'joy' to be pretty darned elusive. Most days I feel somewhere between okay and good. And on more rare occasions I feel sad or depressed. I have even experienced times of great happiness or great despair. But joy? Not too sure about that one.

So let's find out what this whole 'joy' thing is supposed to be about. Joy is the second fruit of the spirit listed in Galatians 5:22. According to Strong's Concordance, this 'joy' means

"cheerfulness, that is, calm delight: - gladness, X greatly, (X be exceeding) joy (-ful, -fully, -fulness, -ous)."

So our joy is to be a combination of being delighted (but calm), glad and exceedingly joyful. Calm, delighted and excedingly joyful. Definitely not feeling much of that lately.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition defines joy as

1. a. Intense and especially ecstatic or exultant happiness. b.
The expression or manifestation of such feeling.

Okay, so we're supposed to feel intensely ecstatic or exultant and express those feelings as well. Okay - I don't know about you - but I haven't been feeling much of that lately either.

Interestingly enough, this same type of 'joy' can be found in the Bible to describe how a person would feel who receives the word of God (Matthew 13:20), to describe the joy that a person would enter into once he or she has successfully served the Lord (presumably at the end of one's life) (Matthew 25:21), the joy that Zecharias the priest would have once his wife Elizabeth gave birth to the future John the Baptist (Luke 1:14), and the joy that is felt in heaven when one sinner repents as opposed to ninety-nine 'righteous' persons who have no need of repentance(Luke 15:7). Sounds good, doesn't it?

So how do we get this type of joy? I'm glad you asked, because I'd like to know too!

The first hint we get of an answer is when Jesus speaks about how we should abide in him in John 15. Jesus says:

John 15:3 Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you. John 15:4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. John 15:5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
............................................
John 15:9 As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. John 15:10 If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love. John 15:11 These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.

So it seems that joy is found through our relationship with Jesus Christ and his relationship with The Father. Jesus even specifically mentions our spiritual 'fruit' in the above passage - making it clear that we only bring forth this fruit as we abide in him - without him we can't do anything.

Jesus also talks about this type of 'joy' when he talks about his upcoming crucifixion in John 16:22. He tells the disciples that in a little while they would not see him again and they would be filled with sorrow. But they would eventually see him (when he arose) and their hearts would "rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you." That sounds great to me - having a joy that no man can take away!

In John Gill's Exposition of the Entire Bible, he says that this joy is durable because the "risen Lord would never die more; the blessings of grace, such as redemption, pardon, righteousness, and atonement, would, and do ever remain as the foundation of solid joy: nor could a stranger intermeddle with it". So because our joy would now be based on these things, it could never be taken away by another person. No man can interfere with what Jesus did for us - dying on the cross, redeeming us from sin, making us righteous through his actions. And these things are the very foundation upon which our joy is based. (I think I'm starting to feel a little joy now :)

But, it seems the most important thing to remember about this particular fruit of 'joy' is that it is the fruit of the Spirit - the Holy Spirit that is. Romans 14:17 says

For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost (emphasis mine).

So our joy is to be found in the Holy Spirit.

So, apparently, our joy is not be based on our circumstances, our outlook, our paycheck or our mindset. But on our relationship with Jesus Christ - and our abiding in him. And it can never be taken away or meddled with by man - it is durable, permanent - built rock-solid on Jesus's gift of atonement to us. And, finally, that joy is found within the Holy Spirit - it shows up and is manifested as a result of His presence within us.

I like that. I hope you like it, too!

So pray with me that we increase the Holy Spirit's presence in our lives. All of our lives. Pray for God's people. Pray that we experience God's new mercies every morning and that we are refreshed daily by God's Spirit. And let's see if we can get a little more joy in all of our lives!

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Joy, God

Fruit of the Spirit: Love

2006-05-23T20:13:00.000-04:00

I've recently begun studying the fruit of the spirit (as listed in Galatians 5), so I thought I'd start a series on it on this blog. We will make it through this topic(eventually), but I'm not guaranteeing to be finished by a certain day or time or even stay on topic on a consistent basis. I'm sure I'll blog about a lot of other things in between the discussing the fruit, but we will get through it!

I feel it's important to re-visit this very familiar topic because of my own personal shortcomings. I personally could use more development (and maturity) of my own particular 'fruit' - a lesson I clearly learned during my bus ride to work last week.

I take the bus every day to work. So, every morning, I rush to get ready, get in my car and head out to the bus terminal, where I leave my car for the day.

Well, I got on the bus one day last week and had pleasantly settled into my seat. I had an empty seat next to me, so I got a little more comfortable than I normally would have (my body language normally resembles an uptight effigy - arms tightly glued to sides or crossed in front of me, feet close together, firmly in my own space). So, just as I hit my optimal state of relaxation (or as relaxed as it gets on public transportation), the bus stops to pick up someone else and the woman who got on sat down right in the empty seat next to me! Or, I should say, right next to me and partly on top of me!

She was an older woman (which should have made me feel more forgiving, but had the exact opposite effect), so she stumbled a bit in reaching her seat, and leaned heavily against me as she regained her balance. This caused me to promptly draw myself together, hoping to silently encourage her to do the same. But, no such luck! She was comfortably sprawled in her seat, in part of mine and definitely on top of my coat.

And then the ride began. We hit every bump, turn and curve in tandem, as she stayed glued to my side. Any sharp left-hand turns (and there were several) meant she was comfortably cushioned against my resistant side. Every bump meant she had to re-straighten her bags, her arms, her legs, her whatever. She never seemed to get properly braced, instead seeming to rely on me (and the person on the other side of her) to help her get through the rough places on the ride.

By the time she got off, I was silently blessing her out, muttering things about 'old people' under my breath and giving her the evil eye as I vowed to be on the lookout for her the next day so that I would not have to suffer such indignities and abuse of my person.

It took several moments after she left for me to 'remember' I was a Christian. And then, of course, I was appalled at myself! Needless to say, I spent the rest of the day trying to get it together and vowed to do better with my 'love' walk, among other things.

So here we are today.

And now, on to our study!

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the 'fruit' of the Spirit, these are attributes or qualities we should display as Christians. They are virtues that every Christian should try to attain through time, practice and under the guidance and influence of the Holy Spirit (because you cannot do it alone!). As with most things Biblical, developing more 'fruit' is a spiritual exercise, and should not be confused with positive thinking, positive affirmations or mental gymnastics of any kind. It is not based on your thoughts or your emotions - but it is a lesson learned directly from the Holy Spirit to your own spirit. (Maybe that's why it's so hard to develop them sometimes!)

So that's what it is meant by 'fruit' of the Spirit. And what are these 'fruit'? They can be found in Galatians 5 and are: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, self-control. Sounds fun already!

Love, however, is the most important of these fruit. As a matter of fact, love is so important, there is an entire chapter devoted to it! (And I know you already know it, if you've attended any wedding in the last decade.) It can be found in 1 Corinthians, Chapter 13. It, reads, in part:

1 If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am become sounding brass, or a clanging cymbal.

2 And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

3 And if I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and if I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profiteth me nothing.

4 Love suffereth long, and is kind; love envieth not; love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

5 doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not its own, is not provoked, taketh not account of evil;

6 rejoiceth not in unrighteousness, but rejoiceth with the truth;

7 beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

8 Love never faileth:

And, if you didn't gather just how very important love is from the above verses, this chapter ends by saying:

1Co 13:13 But now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

So, there you have it: we absolutely, positively must have love. And not just any kind of love. Strong's Concordance defines the type of love mentioned here as 'agape' love - which is far, far from the type of love we normally show to each other. Agape love is the type of love that God shows to us - unconditional, unwavering and selfless.

So, we are not only to love each other, but to show the type of love that God shows us to other people, too! Wow. That's deep. (And far, far from what I felt towards that poor woman on the bus!)

So that's our lesson for today - love others with the same love that God has shown us.

(Please feel free to add any other hints, tips or advice to this series. Anything we can say to help each other in our walk is always good and useful information.)

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Love, God

The Barber Shop: About Fatherhood

2006-05-21T20:42:00.000-04:00

T.H., over at The Barber Shop did a great post about a week ago called 'About Fatherhood'. I found it personally to be very inspiring and encouraging to hear a man talk about the joys of fatherhood. With the prevalence of DNA testing being done on talk shows to determine if some (very reluctant) man is the father of someone else's child, and men banding together to see if they can establish parental rights as strong as a woman's (i.e., not have to legally support their children if they were not in favor of him or her being born), it's refreshing to see a brother who feels that fatherhood is both a blessing and a privilege. Here is an excerpt from T.H.'s article.

I'm a proud father of two baby boys, an almost three-year-old and a one-year-old. Prior to becoming a dad I was kind of indifferent about having kids, because my dad was very distant when I was a kid so I guess I looked at children as being a burden to some extent.

In our popular culture a lot of brothers equate freedom and the "good life" to having little or no responsibilities. We're taught to fear being tied down by anything, be it marriage, children, or too much hard work. Words like commitment, discipline, and responsibility have a subtle negative burdensome connotation to them, so even when we embrace some of these situations it's often with a hint of mourning for our lost freedoms.

To read the entire article, visit here: The Barber Shop: About Fatherhood

Thank you, T.H., for a beautiful article.

12 Things the Negro Must Do For Himself

2006-05-21T19:55:00.000-04:00

I don't know if you all have seen this before, but Nannie Helen Burroughs wrote an essay in the early 1900s that is eerily relevant to today's society. See for yourself:

12 Things the Negro Must Do For Himself

(Excerpts)

1. The Negro Must Learn To Put First Things First. The First Things Are: Education; Development of Character Traits; A Trade and Home Ownership.

2. The Negro Must Stop Expecting God and White Folk To Do For Him What He Can Do For Himself.

3. The Negro Must Keep Himself, His Children And His Home Clean And Make The Surroundings In Which He Lives Comfortable and Attractive.

4. The Negro Must Learn To Dress More Appropriately For Work And For Leisure.

5. The Negro Must Make His Religion An Everyday Practice And Not Just A Sunday-Go-To-Meeting Emotional Affair.

6. The Negro Must Highly Resolve To Wipe Out Mass Ignorance.

7. The Negro Must Stop Charging His Failures Up To His "Color" And To White People's Attitude.

8. The Negro Must Overcome His Bad Job Habits.

9. He Must Improve His Conduct In Public Places.

10. The Negro Must Learn How To Operate Business For People--Not For Negro People, Only.

11. The Average So-Called Educated Negro Will Have To Come Down Out Of The Air. He Is Too Inflated Over Nothing. He Needs An Experience Similar To The One That Ezekiel Had--(Ezekiel 3:14-19). And He Must Do What Ezekiel Did

12. The Negro Must Stop Forgetting His Friends. "Remember."

The entire essay can be read here

Isn't it fascinating? And this essay was written around 100 years ago!
And as tempted as I am, I will not take this as an opportunity to put Black folks down. If any of the above applies to you - then you are responsible for dealing with it. And, if it doesn't, it is your responsibility to help others around you to put those things behind them.

We have a long way to go, but, God willing, we will get there.

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, African-American, Self-Improvement

The Myth of the Strong Black Woman

2006-05-19T18:48:00.000-04:00

It's something my women friends and I talk about a lot. At dinner, running around, walking for exercise, or whatever. We are motivated, we are energized, we are cooperative and we are connected. Oh, and one more thing: We are TIRED!

Most of my girlfriends are still single. They may have a man, they may not. If they have one, it is a litany of what he is doing, what he is doing wrong, what he could be doing better and how can she continue to put up with this man. Our men are broke, broken down, tied down to two or three baby mammas, used up, tied up, playing games, uncommitted, unrepentant, unsure and timid. If they don't have a man, we talk about how they are making it, what their lives (or children's lives are like), how hard it is to meet a good man, how much easier it is to let their lives revolve around church, etc., etc. Oh, yeah: and we are TIRED!

Tired of having to make it work alone. Tired of being the only ones involved in the raising of our children. Tired of trying to make our relationships work. Tired of going to school so we can better ourselves cuz we darned sure can't depend on a man to take care of us. Tired of striving, tired of fighting, tired of 'keeping it all together', tired of taking care of mama, daddy, baby, boyfriend, sister, brother, nephews and nieces.

I want to talk today about the Myth of the Strong Black Woman.

See, Black women my age were raised with the notion that we'd only have ourselves and our mammas to depend on. A few girlfriends, if we were lucky. Maybe some daddy support every now and then (after mama had straightened him out), but, definitely, not ever, don't ever depend on it - support from our men. Or from society. All we had was ourselves, God, our mammas and each other.

So we built our own support networks, took care of our children, held down jobs, bought our own houses and proceeded to - make do. Make do without a man (or husband), make do without societal support, make do in our churches, accept leadership when they 'allowed' us and to take a back seat when they didn't. Be a good friend to other, similarly situated, woman. Be a good daughter and sister. Be a good mama, and in many cases, a good daddy as well. We made do.

But now we are tired.

I read a poem called The Strong Black Woman is Dead by Laini Mataka. In it, Ms. Mataka speaks about the mythological black woman who is now dead. One excerpt reads:

She died from an overdose
of other people clinging to her
when she didn't even have energy for herself.
She died from loving men who didn't love themselves
and could only offer her a crippled reflection.
She died from raising children alone
and for not being able to do a complete job

Sound like anybody you know? (The complete poem can be read here.)

Another article I read talks about the number of households now being headed by single black woman. It says:

I know the statistics: They say that when my grandmother was born at the turn of the century as few as 10 percent of black households were headed by females; when I was born at mid-century, it had crept to 17 percent; and now it is almost 60 percent. No longer a widow or a divorce as in times past, the single woman with children today probably has never marriedÂand increasingly she is getting younger. By the time she is eighteen, one out of every four black unmarried women has become a mother.

And finally, an excerpt from "Soothe Your Nerves: The Black Woman's Guide to Understanding and Overcoming Anxiety, Panic, and Fear" by Dr. Angela Neal-Barnett talks about how black women tend to underplay their stress levels and hold it all in. The author conducted a study of black women where they kept a diary of their day while their heart rate and blood pressure were measured as well. The women never admitted to being stressed out, but their blood pressure and heart rate went up by 15-20 points during the day. An excerpt from the book says:

Interviews indicated that women were aware of their stress level; they were just unwilling to admit it was problematic. Several said to me, "Baby, I don't have time to think about that mess. If I did, I'd be stressed out about everything." Yet taking the time out to acknowledge the stress and do something about it would go a long way toward preventing the development of serious anxiety and the health problems associated with it: chronic upper respiratory infections, hypertension, heart disease, and obesity.

Black women - what are we doing to ourselves? When you get stressed out, how do you handle it? Are you a classic case of 'holding it all in'?

I can only speak for myself - but it sure would be nice to have the family structure be what it used to be. To have loving and supportive dads and husbands. To be connected to each other, with God, with the community. To have a sense of who we are and where we are going. Inter-connected. Bonded. In Unity.

But maybe that's just me.

I know for myself - the days of trying to pretend I have it all together are gone. I am not afraid to ask for help, to show that I am weak, or to depend on others at times to get me through. I am not afraid to admit my complete dependency on God, the helping hands (and strong shoulders) of my girlfriends, the love and support of my family and the consistency and reliability of my man. I need, want and desire all those things to help me make it through.

The image of me as a Strong Black Woman is dead and gone.

How about you?

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, African-American, Women

About the Sexual Revolution.......

2006-05-16T19:04:00.000-04:00

The sexual revolution happened before I was born. All I know of it was what I saw on TV - women marching, burning their bras and equality being demanded for all women. Equal pay, equal rights and the equal ability to sleep around.

Or, at least, that's how it was portrayed.

I think the sexual revolution and the women's equality movement were beneficial to me in many ways. I appreciate the fact that I am paid as much as my male counterparts. I appreciate the fact that my future daughters can play any sport they want. And I appreciate all the minority government contracts that were set aside for women. (Not to mention my previously obtained rights to vote and to own property.)

But I also think the sexual revolution brought great losses to women.

One of the issues I have with this 'revolution' is the idea that women are now 'equal' in their ability to sleep around. Women of my generation and of the generation preceeding me were told we were free to sleep with whom we wanted. Birth control became widely available and sex was no longer tied to the idea of procreation. Now, we could just have sex for fun. We could be just as sexually adventurous as man, we were told. Live a little. Date. Sleep around. Enjoy yourself. It's your Right.

But they never told us the other side of the coin. That with sexual promiscuity comes a higher level of responsibility. That getting pregnant no longer meant a man would ask you to marry him. Or even stick around. As a matter of fact, abortions were as widely available as birth control, so that was now one of the choices we had to make for ourselves.

They never told us that since sex was no longer tied to procreation, not only would the man not necessarily stick around, but may never even acknowledge his child. Nor would there be anyone to pressure this young (or old) man into being responsible. Women were now solely responsible for themselves and, in many cases, responsible for the welfare and development of their children.

And they never told us that men and women process sex so very differently. That the hormonal and biological interactions that occur during sex cause men to become distant and women to become clingy. The Bible even says that sex is the only sin you do to your own body - and that you are 'joined' with every person you have sex with. The Bible meant that you are joined 'spiritually' - so you connect with every single person you have sex with. And, unless you go through a long period of cleansing and renewal, you will always carry those people around with you in your spirit. For the rest of our lives.

They never told us that.

The other problem I have with the sexual revolution is that I don't think it prepared women to deal with the reality of being 'equal' to men. Yes, we could join the work force, and no longer had to stay home to raise the kids, but we also lost quite a bit. Because we said that a woman has no set place, we now don't seem to know who we are or where we belong. Most women (myself included) love going to work every day and making a living, but when it comes to the idea of marriage and the 'equal' roles that I am told I should want - I am left at a loss. So now I don't have to cook, clean or be a full-time mom. But, what if I want to do those things? Does that make me any less a 'liberated' woman? (I am often struck not by how many women work these days, but how many women still choose to stay home and be full-time moms. College-educated, smart, work-oriented women. And studies show that women still do the majority of the household and child-raising duties. So, what did we really gain? A new expectation that not only would we work full-time, but that we would do the majority of the household chores and still do most of the child-rearing.)

The Bible admonishes me to be submissive and humble as a wife. To respect my husband and to serve him as I serve the Lord. Society tells me to be equal to my husband (or even to be dominant in the relationship) and to demand my 'rights'. Who's right?

I can tell you this for sure - I do want my rights in my future marriage. I want my 'right' to have a husband who loves me as much as he loves himself. I want my 'right' to have my husband minister to me spiritually and emotionally. And I want my 'right' to have a husband who will do what he needs to do to support our combined household (spiritually, financially, etc.). And I want my 'right' to a husband who feels just as responsible for our children, our spiritual life and our marriage.

I'm just not sure where all that fits in with the 'sexual revolution.'

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Sex, Marriage

The Quest for Perfect Love

2006-05-14T11:20:00.000-04:00

Don't you just love Sunday mornings? It is usually the one day of the week that you don't have to get up early, you get to relax and, of course, spend some time with God.

At my church this morning, our Pastor spoke today about the Quest for Perfect Love. This was taken from 1 John 6:12, 16-19:

12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.

17 In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 19 We love because he first loved us.

I love these verses. It reminds us, first, of God's love for us, but also reminds us of our responsibility to love one another. Verse 12 tells us that none of us has seen God - face to face, that is. We know of Him, we can see the wonders of His glory around us, but He is not an earthly being. God is a spirit. However, God lives in us as we love another. This is the secret to finding that ever elusive 'Perfect Love'.

'Perfect Love', as my pastor reminded us, is not often found in another person. Our own love for one another is imperfect - it is flawed. However, God's love is perfect. And, by demonstrating His love to others, our own love is made perfect as well.

I also love the verse about there being no fear in love. That 'perfect' love casts out fear. Wouldn't that be great? To finally not feel fear - about anything? This is possible only through the love that God has available for us. Perfect love - no fear.

And, finally, I love the verse where it says we love God because He loved us first. I am always humbled to think about the many years I spent away from God - living my own life the way I thought was best. Ignoring God. Being selfish. And yet He loved me anyway. The same way He loves you. Despite your reservations, your fears, your apprehensions and your skepticism about who God is. (And, yeah, He knows all about what you think about 'hypocritical' Christians, pastors who are 'pimping' the church and your ability to be a Christian within the confines of your own home - but it's all good, as you will soon discover.)

In fact, He loved you so much, that he made a way for you to come to Him. All you have to do is accept His love for you. Acknowledge that Jesus died on the cross to save your life and that he is the Son of God. And that's it. You are now His.

So, today, when you are seeking that 'perfect' love, and realize that you will not get it from anyone - not your spouse, not your kids, not even your mom - realize that God has it in store for you.

He's just waiting on you.

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, God, Love

The AIDS Virus is Killing the African-American Community

2006-05-10T19:34:00.000-04:00

I was reading an article in Newsweek this week and I was horrified to learn how the AIDS virus is ravaging the Black community. (Newsweek gives an overview of the AIDS epidemic in America here.) Numbers don't lie. The article tells us that:

African-Americans make up just 13 percent of the U.S. population but account for an astounding 51 percent of new HIV diagnoses. Black men are diagnosed at more than seven times the rate of white men, black females at 20 times the rate of white women.

Did you see that figure about black women - we are getting AIDS at 20 TIMES the rate of white women. 20 TIMES. And, most heartbreaking of all, most black women get the disease during heterosexual sex with men.

The virus once referred to as "gay-related immunodeficiency disease" has become increasingly gender-blind, especially in the black community, where heterosexual transmission accounts for 25 percent of male infections and 78 percent of female infections.

And where are most of the black men getting the disease? From homosexual sex with another man.

That's scary. And it's outrageous. One of the men profiled in the story admitted to regularly having sex with both men and women. And, EVEN AFTER HE FOUND OUT HE HAD AIDS - HE STILL HAD UNPROTECTED SEX. And did not bother to inform his sex partners that he had the virus.

Ladies - that could be someone you are dating. Or someone you might consider dating. The article made it clear that it was not only 'promiscuous' women who got the virus from their partner - one woman was married and the another had been with very few men. But it just takes one time. One time with one person without protection. Just one time.

And the scariest part of all is that you can't even assume your partner will know if he or she even has the virus. The article uncovered the fact that testing among black men is low. A study of 2000 bisexual men discovered that half of these men tested positive for AIDS and TWO-THIRDS OF THEM DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY HAD THE DISEASE!!!

All I can say is, if you are having sex, protect yourself. Get tested for AIDS. And if you are contemplating marrying or becoming engaged in a long-term relationship, have your partner test himself or herself as well.

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, AIDS, African-American

In Pursuit of Perfection

2006-05-08T20:38:00.000-04:00

Are you a person who is always striving to be 'perfect'? Does your house always have to look sparkling clean? Do your shoes always have to have a certain shine? Is it necessary to put on makeup and coordinate your clothing before you leave the house? How about your kids - how bent out of shape do you become when they give in to their normal childish behavior? When their grades are less than stellar? What about your spouse - does his or her appearance/mannerisms/job have to be at a certain standard to meet your approval?

The sad truth about it is, if you are a perfectionist about any of the above things, you are probably even harder on yourself. Chances are, you reserve the worst criticism for yourself: How you are not where you want to be in life, don't look the way you want to look, don't like yourself, aren't smart enough, aren't good enough and (maybe) never will be.

And, if you are a Christian, there is one more thought probably echoing in your head: I'm not a very good Christian. This thought typically comes with its own depressing litany: I don't pray enough (or long enough), I can't control my hormones (or my mouth), I am a lousy role model, I don't fast enough, I don't study enough, I don't go to church, I don't go to church as often as I should. I don't know enough of the Word and,the worst thought of all - God can't possibly love me with all my flaws. It's almost like you don't want to be a Christian so much as you want to be able to model what you consider perfect Christian behavior. As if being a Christian on the outside can make up for what you feel you lack on the inside.

In pursuit of 'Perfection'.

A good friend once told me 'Perfection is a Long Road to Nowhere'. This is what you must think to yourself as you strive to reach an unreachable goal.

"But, Sonya", you will say, "Doesn't the Bible require that we be 'perfect'?" The short answer is - NO. The most often quoted scripture is found in Matthew 5:48, when Jesus says 'Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.' But, according to Strong's concordance, this reading of 'perfect' means complete (in growth and moral character), not perfect the way we traditionally mean it - without any flaws, imperfections or mistakes. God knew that we would all make mistakes. Jesus died on the cross to pardon us from all our sins - past, present and future.

This, of course, doesn't mean that we should sin indiscriminately (this is further addressed in Romans 6:1), just that God made provision for us, knowing we would sin.

So what should that say to you? That God knew you would sin and still loves you. Loved you so much that He made a way for you to reach Him no matter what. And, if He can accept you will all your imperfections, shouldn't you?

God does not expect 'perfection', but He does expect you to try really, really hard. To study His word (2 Tim 2:15) on a daily basis (Ps 1:2). To be unlike the world and to transform our minds away from its thinking (Rom 12:2). To love God with all that we have (Matthew 22:37) and to treat others as well as we treat ourselves (Matthew 22:39).

But none of those things require perfection. And what does God think of our efforts? In the well-known story of Cain and Abel, prior to Cain taking Abel's life, Cain brought an offering to God. God was more pleased with Abel's offering (which led to Cain's jealousy and his subsequent murder of Abel), which made Cain angry. But the Bible says, "Then the Lord said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted?..."(Gen 4 NIV). God was perfectly willing to accept the best that Cain had to offer - if Cain had been willing to give it.

Our God is not so concerned with the obsessive pursuit of perfection, but with our obedience - a desire to do His will. And, even more importantly, with a willing heart. Our obedience and willingness to please Him count much more than our desire to look 'perfect' in another person's (or our own) eyes.

Perfection is a long road to nowhere.

Strive instead to be 'perfect' before the Lord - experiencing spiritual growth and maturity as you serve Him with the best that you have to give. And, if you do what is right, will you not be accepted?

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Advice

Christian Worship - Does it Really Take 'All That'?

2006-05-05T18:27:00.000-04:00

I attend a Baptist church. Every Sunday we gather to hear a sermon, praise God, sing along to the music, worship, give our offering and return to our homes. But it is an understatement to say that we simply 'enjoy' ourselves while attending church.

We sing. We dance. We clap loudly at the slightest provocation. We jump up and down. We run the aisles. And, sometimes, we pass out from the sheer joy of it all.

As a worshipper at a church that is 'high in the Spirit', I am often asked the question - "Does it really take 'all that' (all that meaning - all that noise, all that hollering (by the preacher), all that music and all that excitement)?" So I ask you that question as well - do you think it really takes 'all that' to worship God?

I could have chosen a different kind of church setting. I could have chosen to engage in the solemnity of the Catholic mass. Or the subdued excitement of the Lutheran church. Or I could have chosen a church that emphasized 'teaching' over 'preaching'. One that was quiet, thoughtful and reflective of the Awesome Unknown that is God.

But I chose the church where I currently worship. With its combination of exuberance and scholarly learning. Shouted worship mixed with deep silences into which we whisper our Awe of God. Dancing and jumping up and down contrasted with the sister in the corner raising her hand in silent praise.

So, again, I ask you - do you think it really takes 'all that' to worship God?

I think it does. I think it takes all you are willing to put out there to worship God in the way you see fit. But I also think you can worship and praise God silently, respectfully and with little ado. I think there is just as much joy to be found in raising your hands to silently worship God as the man or woman has who is running down the aisles as if they recently left a fire. Just as much passion in the man dancing for joy as the child who is clapping her hands and rocking back and forth in silent wonder.

The Bible seems to reflect both views as well. Psalms 66:1-2, says "...Make a joyful noise unto God, all the earth: Sing forth the glory of his name: Make his praise glorious." But, conversely, John 4:24 says "God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship in spirit and truth." This tells me that God accepts praise and worship how it is offered - and welcomes both. King David danced mightily before the Lord, but God spoke to Elijah in a still, small voice. God just wants you to come. I think it is just us who get caught up in the form and fashion.

How do you prefer to worship God? Do you think there is a difference between praise and worship?

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Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Worship

More Da Vinci Code Stuff

2006-05-03T19:00:00.000-04:00

I'm still rather fascinated by the whole Da Vinci Code phenomenon, so I'm reading the news, websites and other blogs to see what others have to say about it. I'm particularly interested in the Christian reaction to it.

From my reading, there seem to be two reactions - strong abhorrence to the book and/or movie and a lighthearted take on what we should all understand is just 'fiction'. Below is an example of the latter sentiment, from the The Grail Code Blog:

The best thing about The Da Vinci Code is that it's getting a lot of people interested in Christian history. You can get a conversation about the Gnostics started in the dentist's office; you can talk with a stranger about Mary Magdalene while you're waiting on the safety island for the streetcar. These things didn't happen before Dan Brown. (That whole article can be found here.)

I agree with the writer of this piece. Prior to the Dan Brown novel, we were not having these conversations, much less even thinking about such things (at least I wasn't). While I have given some time and attention to early Christian history, Dan Brown's novel forced me to re-think my perception of Jesus, the role of women in the early church and my whole concept of sin.

The book did not, however, shake my faith. And I don't believe, in a widely quoted passage from the book that 'everything we had been taught about Christianity is wrong'. I believe that Jesus rose from the dead. I believe that he was the Son of God. So that didn't change upon reading the book.

But it did make me re-think what I thought about Jesus, the workings of the early church and church history as a whole. And the thing to remember (as has often been pointed out) is that the Da Vinci Code is a work of fiction (with some factual content about the Priory of Sion, architecture and art history). (The Catholic Answers website does a really good job of debunking the book in 'Cracking the Da Vinci Code'.) So, ultimately, though I thought the book was a pretty good read (though I liked Dan Brown's book Angels and Demons better), it was just one more good read among many. But, as the Grail Code Blog pointed out, we certainly are having a lot more interesting conversations now!

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Articles, Da Vinci Code

Deciphering The Da Vinci Code

2006-05-01T12:59:00.000-04:00

I was browsing the internet today, when I ran across a special webpage put together by Focus on the Family. This webpage brings together radio broadcasts, articles and resources to help you decipher the Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown. The webpage can be found here.

I also think fellow blogger, Higher, had a really good post about the Da Vinci Code. It's Called Cracking the Da Vinci Code.

What do I think about it all? I am no Biblical scholar (which is why I am pointing you to a couple of places that have good information about the Da Vinci Code controversy), but I think any debate about Christianity is a good one. Yes, people are questioning whether Jesus was married, or if his bloodline died out, etc, etc, but at least people are talking about Jesus. And it's hard to debate about someone without giving at least some thought to who that person is. I'm all for spreading the gospel by any means necessary. So I tend to think Author Dan Brown did us all a big favor by writing his book. But that's just my humble opinion.

What are your thoughts about the Da Vinci Code and the surrounding controversy? Do you plan on going to see the movie?

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Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Da Vinci Cod

Why Are You So Angry?

2006-04-24T05:47:00.000-04:00

Have you ever been so angry that you lost control? That you did or said something that you normally would not do? So angry that you are still paying the price for your thoughtless words or vindictive actions?

You're not alone. Everyone experiences anger at some point. It could be over something as simple as someone taking too much time ahead of you in the store. Someone cutting you off on the freeway. A marriage gone bad. A job that has become too stressful. A life that is simply overwhelming.

The bible is filled with examples of people who got angry - God hardened Pharaoh's heart as Moses sought the freedom of the Israelites. Pharaoh's anger (and stubbornness) led to plagues, adversity and death for his people.

Naaman, captain of the host of Syria, was almost doomed to a life of leprosy because of his anger. Naaman visited the prophet Elisha to seek a healing for his leprosy, but turned away in anger when he did not receive the response he desired. Only the intelligence of his servants saved him from the price of his foolish actions.

The Apostle Paul was filled with righteous anger towards the newly founded Christian sect. After Jesus's death, he sought to kill as many Christians as he could. A fateful encounter on the Damascus road finally caused him to see the error of his ways and allowed his heart to become open to the Savior.

Anger can be a very destructive emotion. Ephesians 4:6 admonishes us to 'Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath'. I believe sin follows so closely behind anger in this passage because God knew how easily destructive behavior follows the expression of anger. This is not necessarily an injunction to never get angry (Jesus used anger to great effect in ridding the temple of money changers), but not to allow anger to lead you into foolish acts.

Anger also has a negative impact on your mind, your emotions and your body's chemistry. An article in Psychology Today sums it up this way:

A strong emotion that is accompanied by arousal of the nervous system, anger produces effects throughout the body. It eats away at your cardiovascular system, your gut and hijacks nervous system, often obliterating the capacity for clear thinking.

And, despite conventional wisdom that it is a good idea to 'get it all out', it has been proven that the release of anger actually makes you feel worse, not better. But you already knew that, didn't you? Because you remember the last time you had an argument, got angry and said and did things that only made the situation or problem worse. In fact, you did not become less angry after the fight, but more angry. Not to mention your bruised feelings, sense of outrage and unfairness that you still feel when you think about it.

So what does the Bible say to do about anger? Don't give in to it and leave the revenge for God. Paul says in Romans 12 '17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. 18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.'

He ends this passage by saying '21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.'

So go forth today and instead of becoming angry, be glad - knowing that the Lord will fight your battles and avenge any wrong done to you. And repay evil with good. But, whatever you do - don't let anger get the best of you!

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Articles, Advice,Self-Help

Fasting For Lent

2006-04-19T19:46:00.000-04:00

Did you give up anything to celebrate this past Lenten season? I'm curious about what other Christians are doing to mark this celebration.

Every year (since I've become a practicing Christian), I am faced with the challenge of how to mark or celebrate the Lenten season. Though I am a Baptist by denomination (and Baptists don't typically don't celebrate Lent), I am moved by the thought of using the Lenten season to remember the sacrifice that Jesus Christ made for us on the cross.

For background, Lent is the 40-day period prior to Easter Sunday (excluding Sundays). The period of 40 days is representive of the 40 days Jesus spent in the wilderness, being tempted by Satan. During that time, he fasted. During Jesus's 40 days in the wilderness, Satan tempted him with all kinds of things - wealth, power and authority - if Jesus would bow down and worship him. Jesus refused and resisted everything the devil offered - because he knew the real deal - there was only one true God, and Satan wasn't Him. And, furthermore, that Satan didn't truly have the power to give Jesus all those things he was promising - all things belong to God and Him alone.

(A good article on Lent can be found here.)

So, it is very easy to draw the analogy between what Jesus did (resisting evil) and our ongoing battle to resist temptation. And to incorporate fasting - which is what people do during this season - fast, or 'give up' certain items, as a means of following in Jesus's footsteps. A time to become closer to God and reflect on who He is and what He has done for us.

So how was your Lenten season? Any thoughts on how Lent should be celebrated?

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Articles, Easter

In the News: Black Woman Have Increased Breast Cancer Risk

2006-04-19T19:35:00.000-04:00

A recent news story about a study of one million women found that Black women are diagnosed with more advanced breast cancer tumors than White woman. Not because we get cancer at a higher rate, but because we are inadequately screened,the article says. Specifically:

Compared with white women, black women were significantly more likely to have received inadequate screening, which included never receiving a mammogram before diagnosis, not receiving one until age 55, or not receiving one in the past three and a half years, said Rebecca Smith-Bindman, M.D., of the University of California San Francisco.

Have you been screened recently for breast cancer? I have - and though I hated the poking, prodding and squeezing - I at least left with the reassurance of knowing I had done my part to catch a potentially fatal disease.

Ladies - make sure you are screened regularly and, if you are at high risk or over the age of 40, that you receive yearly mammograms. And men - make sure all the women in your life are well protected.

Be Blessed!

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Health

The Hook-Up

2006-04-14T19:40:00.000-04:00

Violet T. Barry, who is the President of one of my sister websites, Holy Jamz, submitted this article to me, and I thought it was very powerful. Read on and let me know what you think:

When I was 19, I let one of my friends introduce me to a guy who she knew through association as one of her boyfriend's closest friends. When we met, it started off really sweet for a moment. Everything was going pretty nicely until he started talking about sex. After that first conversation, every conversation eventually led to the same topic which eventually turned into him pursuing me. So I lost my cool one day and told him to lose my number and pretend as if we never met.

A few weeks after that conversation, I got a page from him from out of the blue. Within that same hour I started receiving 911 pages from different telephone numbers. By the time I pulled up to my house from school I called the last number back and it was my friend who was crying and begging me to go and get her. I asked her where she was and I jumped in the car and took off. When I reached her and got her safely inside of the car, she told me that her ex-boyfriend (who set me up with the guy I told never to call me again) stopped by her family's house and asked her to go for a ride with him. She agreed and he took her to a gated apartment complex that you could only get in and out of with a key.

She told him that she'd rather wait in the car but he insisted that she went up with him because he was going to be a while. Eventually after going back and forth, she agreed. He had her step into the apartment first and closed and locked the door behind him. The apartment was full of guys. And everyone was staring at her. After that sentence the rest of the events from that moment on was a blur. The guy that I had been talking to was also in that apartment. As far as she can remember, her ex-boyfriend took her into a bedroom and raped her. After that, the guy I had been talking to entered the room and she only remembers running and screaming. After that, she can't recall how she got her clothes back on. She remembered running through the apartment complex and trying to jump the high concrete wall to get out. She never really understood how she made all the way to where she was when I picked her up.

At the time, she refused to call the police or to go to the rape trauma center. It was after taking her to another friend's place and talking with her and her husband that she agreed to go to the emergency room. We were told to go to the trauma rape center where she was examined by nurses and coaxed into speaking with a police officer to take a statement. She asked me to stay with her and I did.

It was then that I learned that she didn't really know the guy that she called her boyfriend. They had been dating for less than a month and she only knew him by his street name and the vehicle that he drove. She did not know of either his real first or last name, where he stayed, his home telephone number or anything. She basically knew jack about this dude and was sexually active with him from jump. The police never bothered to follow-up on the incident and she decided to put it behind her and pretend as if it never happened. We never spoke about it again but I never fully understood why things went down the way that they did.

I learned that I was set-up to be gang raped along with my friend that night but didn't. I learned that I really did not know my friend the way that I thought I did. I learned that it was best that I make my own mistakes and that it was better for me not to follow or allow people that I knew to influence me into making poor decisions. My heart went out to my friend for what she had survived that night. At the same time, I also realized that it could have also been me and that she had led me falsely into dating one of her rapists by telling me that she had been with her boyfriend for a long time and knew his friend, too.

I could say that the experience kept me on my toes and from going on to make more mistakes and bad decisions but I would be a liar. I was one of those people who had to learn things the hard way for quite some time before coming to any kind of common sense. When I look back at some of the things that I've done in my younger years, I know that it was nothing but the grace of God that spared, kept and saved me even in the midst of some of the worse choices I've ever made and in the midst of some of the darkest periods of my life. As women, if we can not love ourselves and be content in knowing that the Lord loves us and cares for us regardless of what we may think or feel for ourselves, happiness will never be found in bed with some man between our thighs for whatever amount of minutes or hours the sin of lust can last.

If you've tried everything else imaginable in your life, why not give Christ a try?

Why not, indeed? Have you ever experienced anything like this or heard of anything like this happening to anybody else? What kind of vetting process do you think you need to put your potential boyfriend through to make sure it doesn't happen to you? Hopefully, this article will make us all be just a little more careful about who we choose to spend our time with.

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Articles, Dating, Singles

Worth Watering: He loves me despite myself

2006-04-12T18:42:00.000-04:00

Worth Watering: He loves me despite myself

This blog entry is from a sister website - Worth Watering. In this poem, Ms. Mimi talks about her relationship with God, how He has touched her life and her relationship with Him. I love the creativity, energy and passion Ms. Mimi puts into her poetry and I just thought you might just like to check it out as well!

Here is an excerpt from her poem:

He loves me despite myself

That is what I love about him
I have strayed, played, have been negligent in my treatment of him
Yet, whenever I call, he answers
I hang my heavy head.
Without questioning he forgets
each irresponsible thing I've said or done

He's the one.

Check out Ms. Mimi's blog to read the rest of this Awesome poem for yourself!

Getting Closer to God

2006-04-11T17:49:00.000-04:00

I have had a lot of conversations recently about how to know God. People wanting to know how to hear from God, how to become closer with Him and how to take their relationship with Him to the next level. Today, I wanted to talk a little bit about how to get closer to God. (I also wrote an article entitled How to Hear From God on my website for more information.)

I personally approach my relationship with God as I would anyone with whom I wanted a close relationship. Someone I was dying to get to know better. For most people, this could accurately describe how you felt when you first fell in love. I was anxious to know what He was about, what He liked, and how I could do more things to please Him. I also wanted to know Him as my Father, my Friend, my Comforter and my Strength (all things that were promised in the Bible). In that God could be so many things to me, it was very important to me to build a solid relationship with Him. So, how did I do that? Initially, by reading the Bible (His letter to us), talking to other people, listening to good preaching and a little bit of trial and error. Here is what I discovered:

1. God Likes to Talk

God likes to talk to His children. All throughout the Bible, there are instances of God speaking to his people, his prophets, his servants and those who faithfully followed him. In Isaiah 1:18, God says ‘Come now, and let us reason together, saith Jehovah: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.’ (ASV) I like this verse a lot because not only does it show that God wants to talk to us, He promises He is open to us even in the midst of our sins. We may not like everything God has to say to us, but it is reassuring to know He wants to hear our conversation.

2. God Likes to Hear You Say Good Things About Him

A good example of a person who was close to God was King David. Though he sinned in his personal life (and was punished), God still considered him to have been pure in his heart towards God. I think one of the reasons for this was because David was tops in one area: he loved to praise God! A familiar passage of scripture can be found in Psalms 34:1-2, where David says ‘…..I will bless the LORD at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth.’ David made a point of saying good things about God and openly displayed his affection and devotion to God no matter what anyone else thought. And, because of this, God counted David as a friend. As my pastor’s wife often says, if you were in a relationship with someone, would you want them to be embarrassed to talk about you? I think not….

3. God Has to Come First

The first of the ten commandments (in Exodus 20) says that we are to have no other gods before Him. We are also told time and again to love God with all our heart, soul and might (Deut. 6:5, 30:6, Matt. 22:37, etc.). That is the first and most significant commandment. Everything else God asks us to do comes after this first and most important command. It is important as a Christian that you build your relationship with God first – and from that, your relationships with other people.

4. God Gets Jealous of Competition

In the ten commandments, right after God tells us that He will have no other gods before Himself, He tells us in Exodus 20:5 ‘Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God…’ God does not like competition. As a matter of fact, not only does He not like competition, He gets jealous when you have someone or something in your life that you hold in higher esteem than you do Him. That means husband or wife, children, family, friends, job, money, material things or wealth. Whatever it is - you can never put those things or those people before God. Remember – no one else is your God – but Him.

5. God Likes to Spend Quality Time With You

God says to Moses in Exodus 25:22 ‘And there I will meet with thee, and I will commune with thee from above the mercy seat…’ The American Heritage Dictionary of the English language defines commune as ‘To be in a state of intimate, heightened sensitivity and receptivity, as with one's surroundings’. And we are reminded that God is the One ‘Who comforteth us in all our tribulation….’ (2 Cor 1:4) Communing with God and being comforted by God all involved spending time with God. We are so often in a hurry, ripping and running from place to place, that we want what we want from in a hurry! Well, here’s a news flash - it doesn’t usually work that way. Most true spiritual work takes time. If you’re lucky, God will deliver you of your troubles right away, but, most of the time, He doesn’t.. Most things that you want from God will take time – and involve a process. A process of spending time with God, talking to God, listening to God, and spending good quality time with God. Saying good things about God, putting God first, and getting rid of (or lessening) any competition. That’s what it takes to be close to God.

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Articles, Advice, God

A Beautiful Marriage

2006-04-07T15:00:00.000-04:00

All this talk about marriage, being single, having children and the idea behind commitment (please re-read previous entries for reference) have made me re-think what God intended for marriage. So, I read through some scriptures, and gave it some thought (and prayer) as I tried to re-focus on His intended will.

And, once again, I am reminded of the beauty of marriage as God intended it to be - a mutually satisfying, mutually loving, respectful and mutually desired state. No hint of a baby's daddy or baby's mama, sperm banks, two or three women (or men) 'on the side', fooling around or trophy wives. A whole lot of love, a whole lot of respect, and a whole lot of God is more like He intended for us.

Oh, how wonderful it would be to go back to God's original plan!

Following are some points that I gleaned from my recent study of God's word:

1. THE MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP COMES FIRST (AFTER GOD)
Genesis 2:23 - Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife and they shall be one flesh

Notice a man leaves both mother and father to be with his wife. And also notice this is before there is any mention of children, friends or other family members. In other words, the marriage relationship comes first. The only One you should love more is God. Period.

2. DIVORCE IS THE LAST OPTION
Matthew 5:31 - ....But I say to you that whoever shall put away his wife, except for cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever shall marry her who is put away commits adultery

We divorce for so many reasons nowadays, but, most often I hear the phrase 'we grew apart'. As you can see, the Bible does not make provision for 'growing apart'. Except for adultery (and if an unbelieving husband/wife leaves his or her spouse), the Bible says you should stay married. So, again, unless you have a very good reason, if you are married, you should stay married.

3. HUSBAND AND WIVES ARE TO BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER
1 Corinthians 7:3 - Let the husband give to the wife proper kindness, and likewise the wife also to the husband.

This should be basic, but so often it is not. A lot of people consider their husbands or wives their favorite 'target', the object of their misery, the causer of all their pain. The Bible says that, instead, we should be kind to our spouses. Kindness - wouldn't it be nicer if there were a whole lot more of that going around?

4. SEX SHOULD BE A MUTUAL PLEASURE (one of my favorites:)
1. Corinthians 7:4-5 - The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband. And likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife. Do not deprive one another, unless it is with consent for a time, so that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer.....

This verse is basically saying that neither the husband or wife has the 'right' to continually say no. That means no 'holding out', playing games or depriving him or her of yourself. And, if you need to pray or fast for an extended period of time, to get your spouse's consent - let him or her know what is going on. Sex was meant to be a pleasurable coming together of a husband and wife. Is it that way for you?

5. HUSBANDS SHOULD LOVE THEIR WIVES AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH
Ephesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it,

I love this verse as well. This scripture admonishes husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church - in other words, be willing to sacrifice himself for her. To nurture and care for her. To love her and to cherish her. (I could go on and on....) It even goes on to say that the husband should love the wife as much as he loves himself - and no man ever hated himself.

6. WIVES SHOULD RESPECT THEIR HUSBANDS AND SUBMIT TO THEM AS UNTO GOD
Ephesians 5:22 - Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

I'd love to be able to stop at the last scripture, but, ladies there are instructions for us as well. (And, yes, I have just as much of a problem with the word 'submit' as you do!) The best explanation I've seen of this passage is where John Gill says 'This is an instance, explaining the above general rule; which subjection lies in honour and reverence, and in obedience; they should think well of their husbands, speak becomingly to them, and respectfully of them; the wife should take care of the family, and family affairs'. In other words, that submission comes through love, not subjugation, humiliation or a master-servant relationship. But through love.

And, we are reminded that we are to submit ourselves to our husbands as unto the Lord. Now that's deep. For the Lord I will give my all. And what the Lord is saying to me is that that commitment must be the same as what I will give to my future husband. And that we (women) are to serve our husbands as if serving God. So, our husbands must love us without condition, and we must obey as if we are obeying the Lord. (Hey - don't get mad at me - I'm just interpreting!).

Let me know what you think. There are, I'm sure, numerous other scriptures in the Bible about marriage. The above scriptures simply represent my favorites. And though I struggle sometimes with the idea of a Godly marriage (especially this whole 'submission' thing), I would truly love to understand what God's original plan was for a husband and wife. All opposing views welcome!

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Articles, Marriage

A Good Man is NOT Hard to Find

2006-04-07T09:07:00.000-04:00

If you're anything like me, I'm sure you've either heard it, said it, read it or even (momentarily) believed it. Come on, everybody say it with me 'A Good Man Is Hard to Find'.

It has become the watch word of the single woman - explaining why we don't have a man, why we don't want a man, why our last man was bad and why there is little hope that we will ever find another (good) man. Of course, our reasoning goes, it must be that there is something wrong with all men. It couldn't possibly be me. After all, I am perfect (or close to it). I am intelligent, employed, in school, self-sufficient, spiritual, God-fearing, beautiful, affectionate, you-fill-in-the-blanks, and so on and so on. So, if I don't have (want, need, will never meet) a good man, it must be because there are no more good men. Right?

Wrong.

Let me say for the record, loud and clear, I DON'T BELIEVE IT. I DON'T BELIEVE THAT A GOOD MAN IS HARD TO FIND.

There - I said it. I feel much better now. Now let me tell you why I think this way.

It's clear from reading the Bible that marriage is the intended state for most men and women. Some of us will be blessed with the gift of single-ness, but, for most of us, marriage is our inevitable fate. So, my first point is this - if God intended for most women to be married, why would He eliminate all the so-called 'good men'? Does that make any sense?

My second point is this - I know there are good men out there because I see them every day. At my church. At my job. On the bus to and from work. At restaurants. In the grocery store. Alone. With their children. In business suits. Sometimes mopping the floors. In the latest Benz. In ratty old beaters. Why don't I think most single women 'see' these good men? Simply because most of them don't fit their notion of what a good man should look like. Along with God-fearing, we want successful - nice car, good-looking, fit, intelligent, articulate and well-groomed. And there's nothing wrong with seeking someone with these attributes (as long as you have them too!). But, you know someone I notice very often? A gentleman that works in my building cleaning up. Yes - I said it - he cleans. Every time I see him, he is quietly, efficiently doing his job. He is dedicated, he is humble, and he is very serious about what he is doing. I don't know his name and I don't know his background, but I am impressed by his dedication.

But how many women take the time to notice the man cleaning the floors in her building? Or who drives an older model car because he is working hard to support his children? Or one who dresses plainly and takes the bus because he is trying to hold down a job and go to school full-time? Be honest - not many.

The other reason I don't think a good man is hard to find is because our definition of 'good' is so darned skewed. We automatically equate it with what we see on the Hallmark or Lifetime cable channels - he will have all the right words, do all the right things, and know exactly how to meet our needs. He will be suave, and debonair and manly, yet sweet. Okay - let's all take a deep breath and just wake up (because, yeah - I want those things too - but I'm learning to accept my 'good' man exactly the way he is)!

Not every man knows the right thing to say. Or the right thing to do. Or can tell you the location of the most trendy restaurant. What you want in a man is one who is sincere - one who says what he means, is consistent and faithful and is genuine in all that he says and does. Those are the 'good' man qualities we should seek and so often overlook (if they are not accompanied by a certain look or level of income).

Okay - enough of my hang-ups. I just want to know - am I the only one who thinks this way? Is it really a lot harder than I believe to meet a good man? If I'm wrong, please let me know....

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Articles, Dating, Single

Do Black People Still Get Married?

2006-04-05T12:48:00.000-04:00

In a much read and discussed article, Joy Jones posed the premise (in the Washington Post) 'Marriage Is For White People'. This article goes on to highlight the declining rate of black marriages and black families that are headed by two-parents. Ms. Jones goes on to accurately point out how black women's choices are changing in the marriage landscape. That marriage is a goal when black women are in their early 20's and 30's, but as they financially prosper and build networks to support their single lifetsyles, they more readily begin to accept the idea of being a single parent. Here is a quote from her article:

Most single black women over the age of 30 whom I know would not mind getting married, but acknowledge that the kind of man and the quality of marriage they would like to have may not be likely, and they are not desperate enough to simply accept any situation just to have a man.

I completely agree with Ms. Joy's article. I realized that my mindset had changed in the last couple of years (I'm in my early 30's) from the idea of having a husband and children to one day having children. I found myself looking at adoption statistics, contemplating sperm banks and re-thinking my plans as a single person to include parenthood.

As a black woman and as a Christian, I have to say I think we have gotten way, way off base. Sure, it's hard to date and find a 'good man' these days, but they still exist. And though we are perfectly capable of raising a child ourselves, why should we if we don't have to? And I'm not talking about those who want to be married, but are not due to circumstances that have prevented it. I'm squarely focusing on those among us who have decided that men are not essential in the equation of our lives. Yes, I believe we can live 'happily ever after' by ourselves, but what does that mean for our society, our children, our neighborhoods and our legacy? Aren't the ideal circumstances upon which to raise children and build a nation founded on the idea of a two-parent family? Why would God espouse the sanctity of marriage if that state didn't represent His highest idea of a perfect union?

What do you think?

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Articles, Marriage

Is the Maternal Instinct Real?

2006-04-03T17:57:00.001-04:00

I was trolling the internet when I ran across this article about the maternal instinct:

LookSmart's FindArticles - Mother's Day: maternal instinct may be a myth. But this mother's son still sees something special in motherly love

Psychology Today, May, 1988, by Paul Chance

Now, I find the idea of whether or not women really have an innate maternal instinct really, really fascinating - mainly beecause I don't have kids. And, as a single, child-less person, I know for a fact that the thought of staying home and raising children full-time (with all the attendant diaper duty, early morning wake-ups, feedings, nurturing, rearing, cooking and cleaning) sends shivers of horror down my spine. And I know I'm not alone.

Sure, I get all dewy-eyed when I see a mom and dad with their cute kids (especially if they have a whole brood and they are all just so adorable), and, occassionally I fantasize about what my own children will be like - athletic, strong-willed, angelic :) - and then I wake up. I start thinking about how much child care costs and who is going to change these adorable childrens' diapers and how many games I will have to attend and do I really want to start carpooling? And my dream of having children once again gets pushed to the furthest corners of my mind.

So this makes me question whether all that stuff about maternal instinct is real. If I really had it, wouldn't I be rushing out to have children despite all my fears? The article I read insists that the maternal instinct is learned, not innate. This quote sums it up:

Then the Pill happened, and the '60s, and suddenly a lot of women were discovering that sex and reproduction were not inseparable. And just as suddenly there were a lot of women who didn't show much interest in making little ones. So it really does seem that maternal love is not instinctive.

The prevailing opinion among experts now seems to be that motherly behavior is the product of learning. Women have and love children only because they were trained to do so. That was what their mothers were up to when they encouraged them to spend countless hours with Barbie

That, however, seems a bit cold to me, so I'm thinking it must be a combination of the two. That the maternal instinct is both innate and learned. And, even if you don't have it to begin with, you can certainly learn it.

The Bible doesn't really say a whole lot about parenting either. There are admonitions about how children should be raised, but these injunctions are not addressed to one particular parent. And, in Bible stories, I have seen instances of both the mother and father interacting regularly with their children.

So - what do you think? Do you think the maternal instinct is a learned behavior or is innate?

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Articles, Parenting,

Argus Leader Profiles PostSecret Blogger

2006-03-30T14:51:00.000-05:00

I am a big fan of honesty. Though I don't always hit the mark in being 100% truthful (would you tell your girlfriend that, yes, she does look like she's gained weight?), I try my best to be open, honest and candid in my friendships, in my relationships and in my discourse with God. That's why I'm a big fan of the the postsecret blog. It was started by Frank Warren as an art project, but grew into so much more. People mail in postcards (anonymously) and reveal their deepest secrets. Here is a quote from the article:

"I've been surprised every step of the way," Warren says. "I'm just a typical suburban husband. I'm an 'accidental' artist. It's been quite a journey, quite an adventure."

And all because of his blog, postsecret.blogspot. com. It started out as Warren's temporary community art project. Now it's where thousands of Americans go to anonymously post their deepest secrets, and where millions of Americans go to read them. Secret-tellers - call them "confessors" - send their secrets to his home in Germantown, Md., in suburban Washington, on postcards they decorate themselves. Warren reads every one and picks 10 to 20 to post on his blog every Sunday.

I find it all so interesting (and refreshing) to look at the postcards posted on his site, because, though our society is supposedly so 'open' now, it's clear that many of us are hiding secrets ranging from innocent to mind-blowing. Why is it so much easier for some people to share their deepest thoughts in an anonymous forum? Perhaps because the people in their lives are not as accepting as they'd like them to be. Or maybe people are just not ready to reveal themselves in all their flawed imperfection.

Whatever the case, I think it's good that a site like postsecret exists. It helps us to know we are not alone (almost everyone has done or thought something that makes them feel ashamed) and hopefully inspires us to be just a little more honest in our own lives. And - to all my girlfriends - you look great! Even if you have gained 10, 20 or 50 pounds, you are still the beautiful human being you've always been! Trust me....

Peace

Should You Financially Support Your Man?

2006-03-28T15:18:00.000-05:00

Taking up a line of thought from a previous blog entry, I thought I'd present this question: Should you financially support your man?

Which leads me to further questions: Is it ever okay to financially support a man? Is this biblical? Is it practical? Could a man gracefully accept being supported by a woman?

My feelings on the matter are this: I think it's okay - depending on the circumstances. I think every relationship should be about give and take. And that each partner should contribute something to the relationship, whether that be money, time, housekeeping duties, child-rearing, organizing the finances, etc. So, following that logic, it would be okay (in my mind) to financially support a man as long he is contributing something equally valuable to the relationship. Just as it would be okay to financially support a woman who is contributing equally to the relationship. Nothing is worse to me than someone who sits at home doing nothing (man or woman) while someone else foots the bill.

What are your thoughts? I'd love to hear stories from anyone who has supported a man (or has been supported by a woman) and how that worked out.

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Dating, Relationships

Should Women Be Allowed to Preach in the Church?

2006-03-23T19:00:00.000-05:00

To start off our discussion on the possible differences between men and women, we will start with an old favorite - Should Women Be Allowed to Preach in the Church?

This oft-debated topic has its share of proponents and detractors, both groups quoting their own favorite scriptures. So who's right? We may never really know, however, I'm going to add my own voice to the fray in trying to resolve this matter.

Do I think women should be allowed to preach in the church? In a word - yes. Why, you ask? Here are five reasons why:

1. (And this is my favorite) God never said that women shouldn't.

Preach, that is. There are no scriptures directly prohibiting a woman from preaching, prophesying or ministering in any fashion in the church.

2. The Bible tells us that tells us that God is no respecter of persons and all are considered the same in Christ.

Peter, in Acts 10:34 (see below) tells us that God is no respecter of persons. Peter learned this valuable lesson prior to being sent to lodge with a Gentile (which was considered abhorrent to many Jews at the time). If God could accept Gentiles, then why not women?

Paul, in Galatians 3:28-29, tells us that God doesn't consider the religion (Jew, nor Greek), status (bond nor free) or gender (male nor female) of His children - all are one in Christ.

Scripture References:

Act 10:34 Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons:

Gal 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
Gal 3:29 And if ye be Christ's, then are ye Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise.

3. Israelite women were placed in leadership roles and were called upon to prophesy.

Deborah was appointed as one of the judges of Israel (Judges 4:4-5). In this position, she judged all matters of contention between the Israelites. And, not only was she a judge, she was a prophetess as well! In Joel 2:28, God speaks through Joel to his people and tells them, among other things, that their daughters would prophesy.

Scripture References:

Jdg 4:4 And Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lapidoth, she judged Israel at that time.
Jdg 4:5 And she dwelt under the palm tree of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in mount Ephraim: and the children of Israel came up to her for judgment.

Joe 2:28 And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions:

4. Women were with the Apostles when they received the Holy Spirit in the Upper Room.

After Jesus was resurrected and had ascended to heaven, the Apostles, along with a number of women, gathered in the upper room. During their prayer (and when they were on one accord), the Holy Spirit descended upon all of them and and all of them spoke in other tongues. God did not differentiate between the men and the women who were present in the Upper Room.

Scripture References:

Act 1:13 And when they were come in, they went up into an upper room, where abode both Peter, and James, and John, and Andrew, Philip, and Thomas, Bartholomew, and Matthew, James the son of Alphaeus, and Simon Zelotes, and Judas the brother of James.
Act 1:14 These all continued with one accord in prayer and supplication, with the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brethren.

Act 2:1 And when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they were all with one accord in one place.
Act 2:2 And suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting.
Act 2:3 And there appeared unto them cloven tongues like as of fire, and it sat upon each of them.
Act 2:4 And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.

5. Women were only specifically directed to remain quiet in one instance.

For those who often quote 1 Corinthians, where Paul admonishes the women to keep silent in the churches and to ask their husbands questions in the privacy of their home - this scripture refers to one particular situation, one particular church and one particular instance. Reportedly, the women in the Corinthian church were being disruptive, and speaking out of turn. So, this admonishment was more about order than a general rule to be applied across all spectrums. God may not be a respecter of persons, but He does expect His people to be orderly!

Scripture References:

1Co 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.
1Co 14:35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

I would love to hear your opininon - for and against. So let me know what you think!

Religion, Spirituality, Christian, Christianity, Articles, Advice

Are Men and Women Really Different?

2006-03-18T17:23:00.000-05:00

Are men and women really different? A recent conversation with a friend brought this topic to the forefront of my mind. Apparently, her pastor said that he didn't believe that women should pastor churches. Now, their denonmination already accepted women ministers, but he believed it was morally incorrect for a woman to lead a church. What do you think?

Over the next few days, weeks, or however long it takes, I'm going to explore the differences and similarities between men and women. What the Bible says. What society says and what science has uncovered.

Stay tuned for more....

Religion

How Do You Know He's the One?

2006-03-08T17:57:00.000-05:00

We've all met the seemingly perfect man: he opens doors for you, he's polite and courteous. He has a well-paying job, he's truthful, open and honest. He takes you out to dinner and doesn't expect anything in return and makes all the right noises about his interest in being committed. You get along great, you're thinking about introducing him to your parents and, then, he changes on you! He goes from calling you five times a day to 'just say hello' to sounding peeved when you call because he's 'trying to work'. He's taken you out five times and doesn't understand why you're not putting out. He gets a great paycheck of which he spends every penny trying to finance a gambling and/or shopping addiction.

So, how can you tell when you've really picked the right guy?

Read on:

1. He doesn't overwhelm you with affection right off the bat.

Yes, we all want to be swept off our feet, but steer far clear of men who want to marry you by Date 2. If he were really so anxious to be married, don't you think he would be by now? Now, I'm not saying that all men are like this, but, most men who start out very intensely burn out very quickly. After all, you don't think you are the only one he's ever been that crazy about, do you? Settle instead for someone who calls, texts or emails you a reasonable number of times. And one who has reasonable expectations of your relationship. Allow your relationship to begin at a slower pace and develop naturally - this will help it to last.

2. He doesn't pretend his credit, his past dating history, or his past life is or was perfect.

Okay, he makes a lot of money, but he hasn't always made a lot of money. And he probably wasn't always the most fiscally responsible person in the world. So don't let him lead you to believe otherwise. Also, he's done both good and bad in his past, so be on the lookout if he colors all his stories in his favor. Look for someone he gives you a fair and balanced re-telling of past struggles, issues or relationships. And, speaking of relationships:

3. He doesn't blame his last girlfriend for all of their problems.

If he begins his stories about his ex with phrases like, 'she mistreated me', 'she was no good', 'I tried to make it work, but she refused to try', or 'she was nothing but a manipulator', run far, far away! As previously mentioned, he has done both good and bad in his past. And this goes double for anything he did in his last relationship. She may not have been perfect, but he definitely wasn't either. There are three sides to every story - his side, her side and the truth. Try to find someone who gets as close to the 'truth' as possible.

4. He's consistent.

Remember how he used to call you five times a day? It's okay if it goes down to once or twice (a day), but once or twice a week? That's something to worry about. And don't accept the excuse that he all of a sudden doesn't have time. Somehow, he found time before, right? It takes two minutes to place a phone call, send an email or text message. Hold him accountable. But, on the flip side, if he only called you once or fewer times per day, don't expect him to start calling three or four times a day now. Observe his original pattern. Learn it. And see how close (or how far) he strays from it. There are few things worse than inconsistency in someone of whom you have greater epxectations.

5. His actions follow his words.

This goes two ways: he doesn't make promises he doesn't intend to keep and he does what he says he's going to do. He doesn't promise to spend more time with you this weekend if he knows he's going to be tied up in meetings. And he remembers to bring you a cheeseburger from McDonald's on his way home from work (like he said he would). Don't trust a man that constantly breaks his promises or makes promises he doesn't keep.

This is my short and sweet list, but feel free to comment and let me know of other traits that I'm sure to have missed! I'm also interested in hearing success stories from others who have found 'the one'.

Religion

Sex and The Single Christian

2006-03-04T15:03:00.000-05:00

What does it mean to be Christian and single? In the best case scenario, it means living a life devoted to God, going to church regularly, fellowshipping with your friends and being a good friend, daughter, brother, mother, father, etc. And - let's not forget that all-important caveat - being celibate. It's a not-so-well-kept secret, however, that most single Christians are not - celibate that is. Most of us seem to have 'periods' of celibacy - lasting anywhere from a few weeks to a few years and then find ourselves falling right back off the wagon for a (temporary) fix. I have had my seasons of celibacy, watched my friends in their seasons and seen celebrities proclaim they will enter marriage a 'virgin'. And, what do most of us have in common? We fail, fail and fail again. (And hats off to those who have been celibate, remain celibate or enter marriage as a virgin.)

Let's face it - once you have had sex (and enjoyed it), it's really, really hard to go back to that pre-knowledge state. Where sex was an idealized fantasy and you would find true love (or, at the very least - release) and it would all fade out into a pleasantly fuzzy happily ever after. And then you wake up.

Once you cross that line, you realize that you will never be the same. You feel a combination of remorse and (this is what always trips you up) curiosity. Was that as good as it gets? Or - wow, that was even better than I thought it would be! Should I try again to be celibate or does this mean it's over? Well, I didn't immediately go to Hell, so maybe....just maybe...I can get away with this.

And you do. Time and again. Until it almost becomes easier just to continue having sex than go through all the trauma of trying to give it up. To date someone and spend long sessions at his house or yours instead of having long walks in the park. To just stop thinking about it and put it up on the shelf of 'I'll deal with it...one day.' Just not today, right?

I am not here to preach to you, to tell you right from wrong or any of that stuff (and I'm sure you know all the same bible scriptures I do about remaining celibate). And the simple truth of the matter is that all Christians fall short in one way or another. We lie, we cheat, we are gluttons, we are judgmental - just take your pick. So, it's awfully hard to point the finger at someone else when we are not exactly shining examples of clean vessels ourselves. Sometimes I think a whole lot more good would be done in the Body of Christ if we were all just a little more understanding of one another instead of the way we are now. But I digress...

So, if the above describes you, do what we all find ourselves doing - pray. Ask for forgiveness. Learn from your mistakes. And maintain your relationship with God at all costs.

And you will be saved.

Religion

How Not to Cheat

2006-03-03T09:25:00.000-05:00

Excuses, excuses, excuses. I cheated because my husband doesn't understand me. I cheat because we've grown apart. I cheat because I'm not in love with my wife anymore. I cheat because my husband doesn't pay attention to me. I cheat because my wife won't give me what I want in bed. I cheat because - well, because I want to, darnit!

We have all heard, said and read about reasons to cheat. We all know why it's okay, why it's justifiable and why we can get away with it. Cheating has, in fact, almost become acceptable. After all, how can you possibly expect to stay faithful to one man or one woman for 10, 20 or even 30 years. Impossible! Right?

Impossible, no. Difficult, yes. So, following is my short and sweet list of How Not to Cheat:

1. Don't find yourself in a private setting with a member of the opposite sex.

As I always say - it's really, really hard to cheat when you're at home, alone, by yourself! Don't give yourself any more reasons to give into temptation.

2. Don't build emotional relationships with too many members of the opposite sex.

Friends, shmiends, most friend-ships (for men) are just a holding pattern until you are willing and ready to take it further. And we women are no better - we often just like to have a man as a backup plan, in case our current relationship doesn't work out. Guard your heart and your time - and hang out with more of your same sex friends.

3. Don't confide all your secrets in a member of the opposite sex.

Yeah, I know, it's much easier to share sometimes with someone that has a different set of chromosomes, but this is definitely heading in the direction of building emotional relationships (and you know where that usually leads). Especially don't share everything that your significant other does that bothers you. Some unscrupulous friends can and will use this against you at a later date. Get a best friend who is the same sex as you. Trust me - it's much easier in the end.

4. Don't spend time fantasizing about 'what if'.

Yes, I know most people don't really consider it cheating unless something physically happens, but, here's a news flash - thinking about doing something is just one step away from actually doing something. Don't think so? Fantasize about ice cream for the next half hour, and see if you don't head to your nearest Ben & Jerry's!

5. Stop seeking external validation.

Make sure you already think that you are okay. Or that you are great. Or whatever it is you need to make it through the day. Because the sooner you believe it yourself, the sooner you will no longer need someone else to make you feel that way.

6. Stay Busy!

Do I even need to get into this one? Suffice it to say the less free time you have, the less time you have to get yourself into 'trouble'.

7. Think about your mate.

Hey, here's something that's probably fallen by the wayside. Remember when you thought your mate was absolutely perfect and could do no wrong? Okay, so you know that ain't true, but I bet he or she still does some things very, very right. Think about those things. Replay them in your mind. Repeat.

8. Spend time building your relationship with your mate.

Spend time planning things you would like to do. Spend time cooking for him or her, sending him or her emails, spending quality time or taking long walks in the park. Whatever it takes to build upon what you already have. 'Cause building a new one will take just as much work as you are putting into the relationship you have now. It's easier (and cheaper) in the end to just love the one you've got.

9. Follow your own passion.

Quit trying to live your life through someone else! And quit thinking if you've bedded three or four people other than your significant other, that this makes you some type of player! You are not. You just lack self-control. Find what you do best - and do it. Enough said.

10. Commit to Yourself first!

Forget about trying to commit to another person through thick and thin. 'Cause his 'thin' will be too thin and her 'thick' will turn you off. Commit instead to your own personal desire to be faithful, loving and attentive to the one you've got. People change. Feelings change. But, knowing (and sticking to) who you are on the inside never goes out of style. Then, when you have the desire to cheat, you will realize it's much more important to be true to yourself than indulging in a temporary fix.

So, go forth and be faithful!
Religion

Adrian's Blog: Blogging the gifts - the word of wisdom

2006-03-01T19:54:00.000-05:00

I just ran across this article from a fellow Christian blogger, Minister Adrian Warnock. I think he has some pretty good insight on the spiritual gift 'Word of Wisdom'. Read it and let me know what you think! Adrian's Blog: Blogging the gifts - the word of wisdom

The Millionaire Next Door

2006-02-27T17:44:00.000-05:00

I just re-read Thomas J. Stanley's 'The Millionaire Next Door'. This book shares with its readers the surprising habits, beliefs and attitudes of the 'millionaire' who could be living right next door to you. If you've ever wondered, why am I not rich, when (insert name) is? - this book is for you.

I re-read the book because, in the 700,201st effort to re-do my finances, I needed to be reminded of the basic tenets of saving money, the pay-off of entrepreneurship and the value in controlling your budget instead of allowing it to control you. I classify the discovered habits of the rich as 'surprising' because I found them to be just that. The book quickly puts to rest the notion of the well-to-do person as a jet-setting, richly clad, spendthrift kind of person. The 'average' millionaire profiled in this book in fact lived a very frugal lifestyle, did not generally spend a lot of money on foreign or luxury automobiles, lived in a middle-class neighborhood and lived well below his or her means. As a matter of fact, the author stated that the more luxury items a person had, the less likely he or she was to ever become millionaire.

The second read of this book proved just as eye-opening as the first for me. It put me in the mind of the fact that God has required that, as Christians, we be good stewards of the resources He has provided us with. This means your time, your talent and especially your money. Though we are advised 'Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal' (Matthew 6:19), we are also advised to make the most of our talents, as evidenced in the parable found in Matthew 25:14-30. To me this means, don't rely on money (and certainly don't love it), but use what you have wisely. Much of the Bible talks about loving and helping others, and while this of course includes acts of service, prayer and support, sometimes it also means cold, hard cash. And we can't be of much help to others if we can't help ourselves, now can we?

So, for anyone looking to improve their financial outlook and become a better steward of his or her money, I would highly recommend that you pick up this book.

President Bush - A Good Christian?

2006-02-25T14:45:00.000-05:00

As the death toll of U.S. soldiers in Iraq approaches 2300, I wonder about why we ever got into this war. Like most people, I initially believed it was unavoidable, inevitable and a necessity. 2286 deaths and five years later, however, I began to sense the futility of fighting a war not for the hearts and minds of the Iraqi people but for oil and profits for America and its allies. There are many countries that experience internal conflicts - not many of which have experienced the level of 'assistance' and peace brokering that the United States has brought to Iraq. And it forces me to consider why this is. Are the civil wars and genocide in Africa any less important than the fates and minds of the Iraqi people? Or is it just that other countries don't have as much to offer in the way of compensation - vast amounts of potential riches and opportunities for political associates and allies to 'contract' their way to millions? Why else are we there? It certainly isn't because we're winning - because we're not. 2286 American deaths and 28501 Civilian Deaths well prove that point. And, even after the recent imposition of curfews and the restriction of vehicular movement in Baghdad, the insurgents are still managing to kill their own people and coalition forces. Is it really worth it?

Which brings me to the question - has President Bush been the 'good Christian' he professes to be by getting us involved in this war? As a Christian, I readily acknowledge our ideological and theological differences. But how can we go to war against another country in part due to our President's 'Christian' beliefs? Why hasn't President Bush given us a structured plan to pull our troops? And, finally, how can President Bush equate the tenets of the Christian faith with the death of so many of our sons and daughters? I pray for it to end.

Medea's Family Reunion....And They Lived Happily Ever After????

2006-02-25T10:54:00.000-05:00

I recently saw Tyler Perry's movie 'Medea's Family Reunion' with a group of friends. Now, I love Tyler Perry - I love his positivity, his Christ-centeredness and his overall enthusiasm, dedication and perseverance in the entertainment business. And I appreciate the fact that he is bringing black movies to diverse audiences. Having seen two Tyler Perry movies (Medea's Family Reunion and 'Diary of a Mad Black Woman'), however, I find myself struggling with the fairy-tale like quality of his storytelling. The main character (a young woman) usually finds herself in a physically abusive relationship, with a monster-like creature devoid of any compassion or remorse. She finds her inner strength, leaves this man and goes on to live happily ever after, hopefully with a good-looking, single, 'perfect' black man (at least in the case of Diary of a Mad Black Woman). Now, I like a happy ending as much as the next girl (and it doesn't hurt that the men in Tyler Perry's movies are so fine), but I feel these story lines need a serious infusion of gray areas. His movies are clearly delineated in black and white. Here are the bad guys - as evidenced by physical abuse, manipulation and treachery - and here are the good guys - marked by characteristics such as purity of heart, total transparency and Christ-centeredness. I love you, Mr. Perry, but can we have a character that has a little more depth? One who is bad and good and everything in between? Can we have a love story that doesn't end with 'happily ever after', but 'they had a good relationship with some flaws?' Just a thought...

Christians and Depression

2006-02-24T18:42:00.000-05:00

I recently wrote an article about Christians and depression, entitled Do Christians Get Depressed?. Besides the fact that I didn't want to be outed as a prone-to-depression Christian, I wasn't sure how this article would be received. Christians spend at least 50% of their time 'pretending' they're alright, 25% trying to get to alright, and 25% actually being alright (or maybe it's just me). Recently, I've increased my percentages to 35%, 25% and 40%, but - you get the point. We are not always the happy-go-lucky people we pretend to be. As a matter of fact, as soon as I got saved, I noticed my problems increased, instead of vice versa. What I've learned along this journey is that the problems never go away, but you get to the point where you deal with them better. All things are possible with God!!! So - how is your spiritual journey today?

Hello Everybody!!!!

2006-02-23T11:51:00.000-05:00

Hello all you Urban Christians! This is the first post to my new blog, Urban Christianz. I already have a website, at http://www.urbanchristianz.com, but I wanted to be able to interact with my readers, other Christians and anybody else out there with a valid opinion of their own. I plan to write commentary on articles I have written, talk about relationships, dating and being single and Christian growth issues. I plan on keeping it very, very real, so if you can't handle that, this blog may not be for you! So, let me know what you think, who you are and what you're about. Can't wait to hear from you!!!